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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He wants nothing more to do with me over a minor thing

182 replies

Hasinah101 · 24/06/2021 19:07

I’ve posted before about an incident that happened but just to a quick summary of what previously happened was, he wanted to leave me because he said he had an emotional break down due to us being an hour away from each other and him being so madly in love with me that he’ll find it hard not being able to see me everyday.. eventually he came round and was like sorry I love you, he wasn’t himself when he was having his breakdown and he said things he didn’t mean..

Currently as we speak I’m not begging for him to not leave me. I stupidly sent him a conversation between me and my ex where it was just me telling my ex I want absolutely nothing to do with him.. but a day before this my bf asked to see my phone.. more specifically look in my gallery and I have some embarrassing pics in there so I was like no but after like a min I was like ok.. but he assumed I deleted stuff..

Now he is telling me to leave him, that the whole time I have been faking our relationship.. he just wants to be alone, that his life is shit.. that I should go back to my cheating ex and why am I being so nice to him after he cheated in the past for 2 yrs…

Everything is a mess, I don’t know what to do.. please don’t be horrible.. I’m just thinking to leave him to it bc in all honesty I’m exhausted

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 24/06/2021 21:40

He sounds dangerous and toxic- I PROMISE you he is abusive and manipulative. Please get rid for your own sanity 💐

Dashel · 24/06/2021 21:41

Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey, this is nuts.

Take some control, text him that you are done and will be moving on and we will be blocking him. Then block and delete and move the hell on.

You shouldn’t be having soap level of drama I’m your life repeatedly and you should address why this keeps happening.

Ask yourself how much if this relationship is normal and healthy versus how much of this is a Hollyoaks plot

Tenohfour · 24/06/2021 21:59

So many red flags here. Please don't stay with him.

toocold54 · 24/06/2021 21:59

OP you do realise for the first couple of months (at least) it should be ridiculously fun and no arguing etc they are the best days. That’s the honeymoon phase and the relationship will never get better than that. If you are arguing within the first month it’s obviously not going to last. Why are you wasting your time/energy.

YeokensYegg · 24/06/2021 21:59

Delete and block
Do the freedom programme.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 24/06/2021 22:29

@HollowTalk

Send him an application for RADA and block him.
Grin
Carbara · 24/06/2021 23:04

It gets more ridiculous with each post. You’ve known him for a matter of hours at this point, you don’t need to put any more thought into this farce. Ffs.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 24/06/2021 23:11

Hell's teeth!

It's a no from me

Charley50 · 24/06/2021 23:35

I feel quite worried for you. You need to block him and tell people in real life about him.

excelledyourself · 24/06/2021 23:45

Been together a month, live an hour apart and he says you have faked the relationship for the "whole time"? It barely is a relationship.

What's this other incident you posted about previously?

If this is real, it's mind blowing.

ChequerBoard · 24/06/2021 23:48

This is not normal behaviour from either of you. He sounds unhinged yes, but you're playing along with the swearing undying love and together forever nonsense when you've known each other 4 weeks and have probably only met a handful of times

Block, ignore and work on your own issues.

reader12 · 24/06/2021 23:55

[quote Hasinah101]@Mamanyt I always go for toxic horrible men. Never have I found myself a nice, respectful man and I really don’t know why[/quote]
Bin this man and figure out the answer to this mystery before you go on any other dates. Far far better to be alone than be with a vampire man sucking all the energy out of you. Good luck!

me4real · 24/06/2021 23:56

then why is the relationship so intense already? Everything just seems so serious like we’ve already planned that we’re gona be together forever and he already talks about us moving in together in the near future

Well that's just not right at this stage, is it? You personally need to have some common sense in your next relationship/future dating. That stuff is just a red flag usually. He's needy/mental and/or saying this stuff to charm you. Imagine if you did move in with him- it'd oviously be a really big mistake, you know that yourself.

Mycatisthebest · 25/06/2021 00:05

I can't believe you have only been seeing him for 1 month!!! All this drama already! He phoned you 171 times! Get out now

ImNotCrazyIWasTested · 25/06/2021 00:08

@Hasinah101

Can I just say guys aswell, I was ill the other day and wasn’t on my phone and he left me 171 missed calls that day
I don't think my DH has giving me 171 missed calls in our 15 year relationship Confused
QueenBee52 · 25/06/2021 00:13

Screwball alert

Original poster
Hasinah101 · 25/06/2021 00:32

I told him goodbye and now he’s saying I shouldn’t love someone like him and he just makes everyone sad and that he deserves to be alone, he’s just made it all about himself now

OP posts:
excelledyourself · 25/06/2021 00:33

What age are you both?

QueenBee52 · 25/06/2021 01:11

@Hasinah101

I told him goodbye and now he’s saying I shouldn’t love someone like him and he just makes everyone sad and that he deserves to be alone, he’s just made it all about himself now

Good and he's correct .. you really shouldn't love an clown like this..

look up love bombing...

and BLOCK him

Carbara · 25/06/2021 01:15

Who cares what he says? Get a hobby or something, anything but this.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/06/2021 01:24

@Hasinah101

I told him goodbye and now he’s saying I shouldn’t love someone like him and he just makes everyone sad and that he deserves to be alone, he’s just made it all about himself now
Reply: You ain't wrong mate. Then block.
mathanxiety · 25/06/2021 01:32

171 calls is 170 calls too many.

Please, please, for the sake of your sanity, dump this bottomless pit of neediness and block him on all your SM and phone.

Mamanyt · 25/06/2021 01:39

@Hasinah101 Let me add this, as well. It is one of the really Deep Truths that I know. Until you are happy and content with yourself, by yourself, you will never be really happy with another person. Our partners should deepen, enrich, decorate our lives, never "complete" them. That's romance novel stuff, and it has been known to be fatal to relationships, and sometimes to the people in them.

1forAll74 · 25/06/2021 01:53

Is this an adult you are taking about? Whatever, he needs to be alone, and then he won't be so bothersome and stupid to anyone.. He sounds very weak and insecure.

pictish · 25/06/2021 05:08

@Hasinah101

I told him goodbye and now he’s saying I shouldn’t love someone like him and he just makes everyone sad and that he deserves to be alone, he’s just made it all about himself now
Yup. He wants something no woman should feasibly give him…their soul.
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