He wants nothing more to do with me over a minor thing

[Hasinah101]

I’ve posted before about an incident that happened but just to a quick summary of what previously happened was, he wanted to leave me because he said he had an emotional break down due to us being an hour away from each other and him being so madly in love with me that he’ll find it hard not being able to see me everyday.. eventually he came round and was like sorry I love you, he wasn’t himself when he was having his breakdown and he said things he didn’t mean..

Currently as we speak I’m not begging for him to not leave me. I stupidly sent him a conversation between me and my ex where it was just me telling my ex I want absolutely nothing to do with him.. but a day before this my bf asked to see my phone.. more specifically look in my gallery and I have some embarrassing pics in there so I was like no but after like a min I was like ok.. but he assumed I deleted stuff..

Now he is telling me to leave him, that the whole time I have been faking our relationship.. he just wants to be alone, that his life is shit.. that I should go back to my cheating ex and why am I being so nice to him after he cheated in the past for 2 yrs…

Everything is a mess, I don’t know what to do.. please don’t be horrible.. I’m just thinking to leave him to it bc in all honesty I’m exhausted

He's projecting his low self-esteem on to you and it gets worse the longer you're together.

I had a bf with a v low self-esteem and he was LOVELY to begin with but as the newness wore off, he got angry with me for what he erroneously believed I was thinking.

He told me why I had done x, y or z.

I realised luckily, I can never win this argument with a man who is telling me what I think and literally will not allow me to correct him.

He believed he knew better than I did what I was thinking.

And when I dumped him, I ''proved him right'' but I was relieved.

Of there was one thing I could tell my historical self it would be just be happy. If it's not making you happy just get rid.

1 month??? Come on mate. Anyone who tells you they're emotionally unstable when you first meet them is best avoided. He's bloody right, he is! Pick your dignity up, raise your bar and give him the solitude he asked for

1 month Jesus. Block him and start counting those lucky stars right now.

He is a completely irrational trouble stirrer I'd say. And a bit unstable. Get rid and stop trying to make sense of his behaviour when there isn't any.

He sounds fucking deranged. None of this is normal. It is emotional abuse. Block him.

I’m not sure how or why you got pulled into this drama but time to get yourself out.

Wow, bin.

Jeeezzzz. RUN

Don't walk

One month?

WTAF

Run for the hills!
Way too much drama, not surprised your exhausted.
Leave him to it, you can do better .

Just read the bit about the 171 missed calls. Wow.
He must have been ringing you every three minutes all day. That's obsessed. It's insane.

I agree with the other posters who say GET OUT OF THIS NOW before he makes you feel as though you owe it to him to forgive him/support him/give him chances/see the best in him/overlook his insecurities and jealousies/ agree with him that HE knows better than you do what you think.

How old are you OP?
There is way too much drama and game playing here between the both of you. I’m assuming you enjoy this else you would have ended it by now.

I will try not to reply to him anymore, this relationship has caused more stress than happiness but he was right when he said why am I talking to an ex that treated me so bad in the first place. He’s now saying he thinks I still feel something towards this ex when I really don’t, he repulses me..

171 missed phone calls in 1 day??? Jeez. That's obsessive bordering on dangerous. Leave him. Just tell him, "I think you are right. Goodbye." Then not only delete his number, BLOCK IT!

You are clearly at the end of your tether, dealing with this. I promise you, you will be doing every bit as well, and probably much better, on your own. Take some time to find out who you are again, though, before getting into another relationship!

No wonder you are exhausted, I'm fucking exhausted just reading this crap.

Bin off this fella. He is a drama queen.

@StayCalmX he jokingly said he would call that many times this morning when everything was fine between us when I said something (can’t remember exactly what I said)

why am I talking to an ex that treated me so bad in the first place

For the same reason you're still talking to the current wanker. You have no boundaries or self esteem.

Please work on that before you sound the dinner bell for the next arsehole.

@Mamanyt I always go for toxic horrible men. Never have I found myself a nice, respectful man and I really don’t know why

Ugh, have some self respect and walk away from this idiot, 171 calls ffs, and wanting to check your phone. If it was years in I would say walk away but 1 month! Jesus Christ……

@user1471442488 I checked his phone too, he even gave me his passcode

@hasinah I did, too. Not sure why. Certainly wasn't my upbringing, I had a wonderful, kind, gentle father. Maybe I craved excitement? However, I eventually realized that the problem was me, that I could not fix it on my own, nor could I afford years of therapy, and that for me the best answer was to learn to like myself and live alone. I was 45 when I ended my last marriage. I am 68 now, and have never been happier. Single life is not for everyone, but it beats misery with someone else.

I just feel so overwhelmed by him. He has even admitted to being very (emotionally) unstable

If this was the case a couple of years in I would tell you to run, let alone ONE MONTH in?!

You need to stop dating anyone and invest in some counselling so you stop choosing toxic men. It'll be the best thing you've ever done, life changing.

I predict that when you try to end it with him, he will turn it in to a court case.

So keep your statements brief and factual.

I am not happy dating you.
Dating you makes me feel stifled.

Don't say things like ''when you rang me 171 times I felt...'' he will turn it all around and make it about you not answering or what was he supposed to think, or blah blah blah, so don't focus on the behaviours he's displayed when you're ending it.

Facts about how you feel.

I feel turned off by you now.
I want to end this.

And whatever he replies (probably a list of your flaws!) do not reply.
No matter what he comes back with, no matter how tempted you are to defend yourself, do not engage.

From the moment you send your goodbye text that's it.

You no longer need to care what he thinks

I was ill the other day and wasn’t on my phone and he left me 171 missed calls that day

This is genuinely scary. Unhinged. Totally inappropriate and unhinged.

@Hasinah101

I just told him I won’t beg him anymore and if he wants me to leave I will go now he is saying it’s all very confusing and he doesn’t know. I don’t plan on responding anymore.. it’s only 1 month into our relationship and it’s already like this

One month? Leave now, block his number and never, ever engage with him again.