Support needed for facing my horribly abusive ex

[Pebbledashery]

Here is my support thread.. Thank you everyone

Please try not to torture yourself like this, you did the best you could, you got both of you away from that monster, you did your very best ❤️💐

I know.. Just if the court decides that no domestic abuse took place then those findings get taken through right to the final hearing.

Hope you don’t have to wait much longer OP. I can’t see how anyone could dispute what you’ve been through, with all that evidence.

Come on my lovely, stop this self torture. You heard HIS BARRISTER admit he abused her! Ok, she was trying to make you look bad as well, but NO Judge is going to miss that, or the feet high pile of expert evidence that YOU and DD were his victim.
Deep breathing, calm, go and do something nice, do you have a meditation app you can listen to? Headspace and Calm are initially free, and excellent for stopping that horrid mental chatter.
I do understand, I was left with C PTSD from my abusive first Husband, and mindfulness (and expert counselling) has been such a help
Huge hugs. You can and will prevail.
❤️💐

I really hope you're not kept waiting too much longer.
You're doing so great.

There isn't much I can do other than just wait and try not to tear myself apart.

I'm so hoping you get the result you deserve

Morning everyone, hope you are ok. Feeling horribly anxious today. Just want to hear the judgement and be done with it.. mind went into complete overdrive last night :(

Morning lovely. His barrister is being paid to paint him in the best light and you in the worst so she will spin, twist, be economical with the truth. It's her job. She probably doesn't believe a word of it but it is what she is paid to do. Please try and stop focusing on what she said about the relationship and do focus on all the evidence you have, in black and white.

Big fat juicy unMNy hugs through t'inerweb

Stay strong sweetie. It's hard and it's horrible but you are being amazing.

As @fourquenelles said, it's his barrister's prime objective to promote his side and disparage yours. It sounds like she did her utmost, despite knowing there was nothing worthy of promotion. It also sounds like the judge caught the true measure of the situation.

All that concrete, validated, supported by multiple different agencies, evidence, plus his behaviour in court, cannot be merely swept aside.

I can't imagine how sick and scared you must be feeling. Hang on. We're with you. xxx

Found your thread.
I hope so much that you and your little girl get justice and peace for a new happier life

Will keep checking for news and everything crossed it is the right result

Sorry the random cake was unintentional

We love cake :)

Thanks@fourquenelles Unmumsnetty hugs back :)
Just had a long chat with my solicitor just now, she said my barrister rung her on the way home and said she believed that the Judge saw right through my ex, the Judge had to put his hand up and stop my ex talking at one point as he was getting heated giving his answer to an allegation.
She said the fact he hadn't even shown genuine remorse for abusing DD, and carrying on with the abuse in the recording, he didn't stop when she got distressed, he just made her more and more distressed will probably be his downfall more than anything.
I don't know, we'll just have to see.

Well in that case

He sounds a complete scumbag
I hope the judge wipes the floor with his arse

@Pebbledashery

We love cake :)

Thanks@fourquenelles Unmumsnetty hugs back :)
Just had a long chat with my solicitor just now, she said my barrister rung her on the way home and said she believed that the Judge saw right through my ex, the Judge had to put his hand up and stop my ex talking at one point as he was getting heated giving his answer to an allegation.
She said the fact he hadn't even shown genuine remorse for abusing DD, and carrying on with the abuse in the recording, he didn't stop when she got distressed, he just made her more and more distressed will probably be his downfall more than anything.
I don't know, we'll just have to see.

That's encouraging to hear. I'm glad the solicitor rang to tell you that.

Everyone needs random cake xx

• and that was HIS recording, wasn't it? To try and trash you for not stopping it? If I remember right?

Wretched git; I hope he gets his (long overdue) comeuppance.

I hope he is forever plagued with unsightly boils in visible places and extreme itches in places he can’t reach…

It's my recording, he was abusing DD (if I say how, it's massively outing) but it was horrific, I had tried to intervene and he threw me onto the floor and knocked my head back and told me to f off, i just pressed record on my phone.. I can't even tell you why other than I wanted him to listen to how he abused his DD.. anyway that's a recording I have submitted in my evidence. He was horrific, he really was.. he's calling her a C in it, and telling her she will learn the f*ing hard way.

He's a monster. The judge will be used to seeing through his act in court. He doesn't even sound like he did a good job.

A quote from a radio 4 programme I heard this week stood out for me “Family Courts…the State moves quickly to protect its smallest citizens”

I really hope the judge can see beyond your ex’s theatrics and ensure your DD is protected from him legally.

Hoping for a good outcome

@Pebbledashery

It's my recording, he was abusing DD (if I say how, it's massively outing) but it was horrific, I had tried to intervene and he threw me onto the floor and knocked my head back and told me to f* off, i just pressed record on my phone.. I can't even tell you why other than I wanted him to listen to how he abused his DD.. anyway that's a recording I have submitted in my evidence. He was horrific, he really was.. he's calling her a C* in it, and telling her she will learn the f*ing hard way.

I'm sorry, I misremembered.

That's awful. I'm so, so sorry. There's an especially sordid place in Hell for people like him.

Hugs xx

Wishing you best of luck

I believe these judges know the score and can see these evil men for what they are

You have protected your small innocent child

Keeping 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

I hope you hear today, keeping fingers crossed for you x

Got everything crossed for you x

I'm so sorry. There is something else. Fight, flight or freeze. I've walked in your shoes. No judgement from me.
Sending you love xx