Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[quote Eesha]@MayEye personally I'd be wary, it seems like so many times on these threads where men want to cool things off citing various issues. Why no contact at all? He just sounds like he wants a complete break from the relationship.

@Shayelle2009 im taking things as they come with Mr Computer as doesn't seem like ill be seeing him for a few weeks anyway. If its meant to be, then i think it will be but im not overthinking.

Any ideas how to lose a stone reasonably quickly! My weight is soaring!!![/quote]
Drink lots of water and do some runs, even teeny ones, they're the best for weight loss 🏃🏿‍♀️ 🏃🏿‍♀️🏃🏿‍♀️

Arrg, I'm such a glutton for punishment!

So I got bored and I'm back on the apps. Made myself new bios though, which make it very clear that I am looking for a proper relationship and not just 'casual fun'.

A few messages but no potentials on the horizon. I might have to just write Tinder off for the summer because I live in a touristy part of the country and 90% of the guys on there at the moment are looking for a holiday fling. Pointless for me.

To add insult to injury my ex (who cheated on me with OW for a year and got her pregnant) has just gotten 'engaged' 🙄. So yeah, fun times all round.

Yay for everyone out there who are having nice dates with nice people though, fingers crossed I will be one of them one day 😊

@BelladiMamma TMI but doctor said i might be perimenopausal and it seems like im always hungry and the weight just doesn't budge. Ill try the water though not sure where i can fit in the runs. Might kill myself with my boobs too.

@Eesha, I’m still getting sporadic periods and I’m 54 ! I’ve recently lost 1 stone by lowering my carbs and intermittent fasting. I am overweight and always have been. Lots of water is good advice. Try increasing your protein and good fat, it will satiate your hunger.

[quote Eesha]@BelladiMamma TMI but doctor said i might be perimenopausal and it seems like im always hungry and the weight just doesn't budge. Ill try the water though not sure where i can fit in the runs. Might kill myself with my boobs too.[/quote]
When I stopped all contraception i lost weight; seems like it might have been hormonal / masking of menopause. But I got a load of migraines so back on the pill

@BelladiMamma do you think if you start running you would loose weight without changing your diet? I have been on a restrictive diet for a while and I'm fed up of it and the last couple of days I have been eating cakes and chocolate

@troobleflooble sorry to hear about your ex, even if you don't want to be with him it just makes you feel abit like aghhhh he has moved on why haven't I

@jugglingjobs thank you 😊 I definitely don't want to be with him, he had so many terrible qualities that would have pissed me off no end in the long run so I had a lucky escape in many respects.

It does piss me off though because they are both bad people who have done horrible things. I'm not perfect but I'm a good person who deserves better than how they treated me. I deserve to love and be loved, and yet they get to ride into the sunset together and have a baby, get married and live happily ever after while I am alone. Why don't I get to have that? I'm just sad 😞

@troobleflooble how long were you together? Did the other woman know he was with you and know he was cheating?

I don't know them but I'm guessing they will not live happily ever after! It may look like it from the outside, but if the other woman knew he was cheating she has sh1tty morals and he cheated so we know he has sh1tty morals, so very unlikely they will live happily ever after.

I ended my last relationship as my bf was putting pressure on me for him to move into my home, he has piles of debt, has been sacked from every job he has ever had and could not provide a home to have his children for weekends and he wanted me to provide all this.

two months later he introduced a new gf to his children and not long after they got engaged. Sometimes I feel like aghhhh how can he be engaged and I've not even kissed a man since our break up, but I know if i wanted to accept just anyone I'm sure I could also be engaged by now. I would honestly love to be in a relationship and do feel lonely BUT i'm not desperate and I won't accept someone unless I am actually into them and they can add to my life.

My thinking is when I do settle down with someone I will be settling down and not 'settling for someone'

@WingingItAtLife you sound much braver than me! You are out there, having fun, going for it! Good for you.

Mr Journalist is friendzone because I put him there, because he’s my first date in 12 years and I think I’m a bit ‘aaaarggghhh!’. I sent a pic to my friend, who has been pushing me to date for the last 2 years, and she said ‘he’s hot - I’d have such fun with him!” So she’s massively disappointed I haven’t just dived straight in. ha ha!

[quote jugglingjobs]@BelladiMamma do you think if you start running you would loose weight without changing your diet? I have been on a restrictive diet for a while and I'm fed up of it and the last couple of days I have been eating cakes and chocolate

@troobleflooble sorry to hear about your ex, even if you don't want to be with him it just makes you feel abit like aghhhh he has moved on why haven't I[/quote]
Recon it's worth a try 🤞🏽🤪

My gosh so many people here - with so much action! I’m seriously impressed. I don’t know how to answer everyone - as going on WhatsApp feels like a HUGE step with Mr Journalist - pretty tame!

Very inspired. I will be rooting for you all that your Princes will turn out to be as charming as you all deserve.
@troobleflooble are you on Bumble? I’m on it and it’s much friendlier than Tinder imho. Possibly more relationship wise? Sorry your Ex is engaged - always a kick in the teeth.

@jugglingjobs we were together a year so it was literally the whole 'relationship'. I can't even call it that without the quotes because I realise now the whole thing was a lie. She absolutely knew about me, 100%. She came and picked him up from my place on occasion. I'm just so angry at him and, unsurprisingly, have massive trust issues now.

I know they probably aren't as happy as they seem but it's still so galling. I can't help it 😞

@Rejoiningperson
There's nothing wrong with taking it slowly if you're still nervous. Will Mr journalist and you carry on chatting and see how things progress or is he firmly in the friend zone?

It is nerve wracking after a long relationship... I was in a 15 year relationship (literally my whole adult life) so have absolutely no idea what I'm doing 😂 but yes, despite not wanting to progress with the other two irons, I did have fun on our dates and chatting beforehand x

I'm afraid the only way to lose weight is to eat less. Weight loss comes 80% from diet.

More protein is good, lower carbs is good. So, yoghurt and berries for breakfast, poached salmon or scrambled eggs and green salad for lunch, meat and steamed veg for tea. No snacks. Fruit for pudding. Only drink water or black coffee/tea, or herb teas.

@troobleflooble

Arrg, I'm such a glutton for punishment!

So I got bored and I'm back on the apps. Made myself new bios though, which make it very clear that I am looking for a proper relationship and not just 'casual fun'.

A few messages but no potentials on the horizon. I might have to just write Tinder off for the summer because I live in a touristy part of the country and 90% of the guys on there at the moment are looking for a holiday fling. Pointless for me.

To add insult to injury my ex (who cheated on me with OW for a year and got her pregnant) has just gotten 'engaged' 🙄. So yeah, fun times all round.

Yay for everyone out there who are having nice dates with nice people though, fingers crossed I will be one of them one day 😊

@troobleflooble ❤️❤️❤️

Just created a new thread. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4287657-Dating-Thread-207-hot-summer-of-fun?watched=1

I echo sadness at the thought of people who are not very nice seemingly finding good ones and skipping happily into the sunset, while I have never cheated on anyone, I'm kind and clever and funny and financially independent so why don't I get the sunset?!

Then I remember that every date I've had since I was dumped has wanted to see me again. But every one of them would have been me settling. I'm not settling.

I work in healthcare, and I'm in my 50s, so my new test is "could I see myself caring for them if they had a stroke?" 🤣