Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Full update from me. Mr Tennis is a vegan but eats fish so I had the lecture on why eating his way is so much better for the body etc etc. He hadn't booked a table anywhere in a busy town on a Friday night. A pub managed to fit us in and we had drinks and food. He is hugely into sports while I'm not. The conversion didn't flow, it was like a question and answer session rather than a natural conversation. He is also an anti vaxxer. He told me he is only on Bumble yet has liked me on Tinder. He also wants to see me again.
I came away thinking it wasn't a patch on my date with Mr Spontaneous.

@Isitreallyme777 I'm really sorry to hear about your cat. They have such unique personalities and are a huge member of the family.

Post date update: It seemed to go very well, he was easy to talk to - if anything he talked too much!

He had a lovely accent, great personality and was very handsome, definitely the best looking iron I've ever had, and I honestly felt butterflies when he looked at me and smiled.

Eventhough this wasn't an in-person date, I felt instantly attracted to him, he ended the date asking about my next available time (childcare issues mean it will be at least 2 weeks until any real date unfortunately). 10 minutes after the call had ended he sent a text to say how much he enjoyed it and can't wait until our next one.

Just back from drinks with my (now two date NHS medic wonder). He is indeed charming and hot, we danced and had a make out session so would be definitely be open to meeting again.

But very full life and work and friends so who knows?

Feels like I’m not able to find that sweet spot between “dating is just a countdown to marriage and kids” and “too ambiguous for anything to grip/hold/establish ”

Meh, will sort it all later home tipsy now catch up with thread later can

This thread moves so fast! Sorry to hear about your cat @Isitreallyme777 I've just adopted a rescue and can see us getting quite attached.

So, my update. Just as I decided to step off the whole merry-go-round of dating... People might remember my two date dilemma a while back. Well, Mr Blue Eyes (date 2) stuck around in the background while I faffed about with Mr finance, which went South. Then Mr blue eyes made his intentions clear and I freaked slightly. He still patiently waited it out. And I decided to override the part of me that thought there must be something wrong with someone who likes me so much...and we're now together. He's lovely, the sex is mind blowingly good, and he really likes me. But is also happy to go at my pace. I'm a bit scared to believe it could be something but have resolved to enjoy the fun and warm fuzzy feelings (of oxytocin!). When/if we come up for air from the bedroom (!) I'll see how we're going. So just as I resolved to be single... I find myself not!

@Dirtyduck

Post date update: It seemed to go very well, he was easy to talk to - if anything he talked too much! He had a lovely accent, great personality and was very handsome, definitely the best looking iron I've ever had, and I honestly felt butterflies when he looked at me and smiled. Eventhough this wasn't an in-person date, I felt instantly attracted to him, he ended the date asking about my next available time (childcare issues mean it will be at least 2 weeks until any real date unfortunately). 10 minutes after the call had ended he sent a text to say how much he enjoyed it and can't wait until our next one.

@Dirtyduck he sounds wonderful ❤️

@Misty9

This thread moves so fast! Sorry to hear about your cat *@Isitreallyme777* I've just adopted a rescue and can see us getting quite attached.

So, my update. Just as I decided to step off the whole merry-go-round of dating... People might remember my two date dilemma a while back. Well, Mr Blue Eyes (date 2) stuck around in the background while I faffed about with Mr finance, which went South. Then Mr blue eyes made his intentions clear and I freaked slightly. He still patiently waited it out. And I decided to override the part of me that thought there must be something wrong with someone who likes me so much...and we're now together. He's lovely, the sex is mind blowingly good, and he really likes me. But is also happy to go at my pace. I'm a bit scared to believe it could be something but have resolved to enjoy the fun and warm fuzzy feelings (of oxytocin!). When/if we come up for air from the bedroom (!) I'll see how we're going. So just as I resolved to be single... I find myself not!

@Misty9 🙂

@Isitreallyme777 how are you today? X

@BelladiMamma yeah of course and a bloke shouldn’t be another responsibility he should be fun and hopefully make you smile… I mean it’s nice to have mutual support but he shouldn’t be using you as an emotional crutch that’s just offputting isn’t it? 😟

@SpringlikeBunk sounds like the good doctor is a bit of alright!! You are making up for list time on the social front!

I’m really looking forward to my date with MrTrades tomorrow, he seems really nice. I’m wondering what the catch is going to be 🙈

@Misty9 glad you’ve got something good going with MrBlueEyes ☺️💘.. that’s lovely you've adopted a rescue kitty 🐈‍⬛

@Shayelle2009 im rooting for you, hope he is lovely in person!

@Eesha thanks huni! 💓 how you feeling about Computer Bloke now? x

@Misty9 thank you. I would never be without my two rescue cats no matter the heart ache that I'm going through right now. They were the best thing to come out of my marriage and the best decision I made. I still remember going to look at them and she hid after I left, the lady at the RSPCA said she wouldn't come out for anyone until I came back the next day, she obviously found the one she wanted her and her sister to be with. I think giving a rescue a home is the most rewarding thing.

@Dancerinthemoonlight and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards 😘😘

@Shayelle2009. I'm okay today, the mornings and bedtime are the hardest time as that was when she would glue herself to me and her sister keeps looking for her. I am so so gutted with my ex the one time I need him he just has not bothered. My parents have been amazing, my friends have messaged to check in, my housemate is going through her own grief (she was extremely fond of them and was there when it all happened). Mr Cricket has been great. My ex, fuck all from him not even a message asking how I am, and he kept telling me they were his cats too. I know he has a new girlfriend but it's so unlike him.

Good luck with Mr Trades tomorrow, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[quote MayEye]@BelladiMamma slight name change but I’m not moving.
Story to now is have been seeing each other for over 7 months, very slow paced, and I’ve been frustrated at times with his lack of initiative re dates etc but the last month or so we have gotten closer, my mindset has changed to one of enjoying it as it is and things were going well. I was planning on suggesting a trip together next month and things had just seemed more open and relaxed between us.
Now this is a setback, as no contact whatsoever for a couple of weeks means things might not recover. Or it could be an excuse on his part to end things without ending them and I’ve totally misread the situation up to now
I feel like my choices are give him space or end it and I don’t want to end it so space it is for now.[/quote]
I see your dilemma 😞 ... I know how much the DC can literally just swallow you whole and leave you with no time Especially if there's been a crisis. Can you have a conversation with him about where you are in terms of each other's priorities? Like you'll wait not to see him for a couple Of weeks but only if you're still exclusive and he is there for you. Recognise that he's under pressure but that you'd like to know where you are?
Tbh in some ways it's easier than him expecting you to help out and be there for the kids too as that could get messy, and some blokes seem to assume their girlfriends are there as extra babysitting and home help.
In any case good luck with everything

@MayEye personally I'd be wary, it seems like so many times on these threads where men want to cool things off citing various issues. Why no contact at all? He just sounds like he wants a complete break from the relationship.

@Shayelle2009 im taking things as they come with Mr Computer as doesn't seem like ill be seeing him for a few weeks anyway. If its meant to be, then i think it will be but im not overthinking.

Any ideas how to lose a stone reasonably quickly! My weight is soaring!!!

@MayEye, I had been wondering how things were going with Mr TG. It’s frustrating that he’s encountered this issue with his ex but things do happen. I’m sure I would be feeling like you but I think you’re right, there is no reason to bail on him now and you’ve got to see how he is in the coming weeks. Some people find it difficult to deal with more than one thing at a time. Hopefully he isn’t using his situation as a front for ending things with you, there doesn’t seem to be any reason why that would be the case. 7 months is a fair old chunk of time to be in each other’s lives, there is clearly a connection there. But I know that being the one without the crisis or issue who is waiting on things out of your control isn’t a comfortable position to be in. Fingers crossed.

Wow so much to catch up on with this thread.... I've just read through about ten pages.... So much going on!

@Isitreallyme777 so sorry about your loss and how much of a dick your ex is being! I recently went through similar with losing our family dog, the ex didn't even reply to my text when I told him. It's such a hard time, be kind to yourself x

An update from me.....

I had 3 irons who I chatted to for just over a week before we met.

No 1 I think I called Mr Near..... Met for a brief walking date zero.... Left feeling happy and wanted to see him again. Not my usual type looks wise. Had proper date no 1 on Tuesday.... He booked us in for bowling. It was great fun, lots of laughs, lots of easy flowing conversation. Afterwards we went for food (he paid for everything, didn't let me), again lots of laughs and conversation. Went back to his afterwards to meet the dogs (we both share a huge love of dogs) and ended up having first kiss which led to dtd. He made me feel very comfortable and was patient with me being nervous/shy. We have dates 2 and 3 pencilled in. We voice note each other most evenings. He is hilarious and also sweet.

No 2 was Mr Rugby..... Hmm this guy was super nice, and sweet. We went for a walk then a Costa. I felt like I was leading the conversation, but he did make me laugh too. He briefly mentioned he has anxiety, which I had already picked up on from some of his behaviour. I am also an anxious person so I didn't feel like we'd be good for each other.

No 3 was Mr Medical. Went for a fun walk at the beach. I was underwhelmed. He was fun but also admitted he'd lost all his previous jobs from fighting. Which made me uncomfortable. So I've told him I don't see us working.

So.... I'm now just left with Mr Near. Who in all honesty, I didn't think I'd fancy but he's surprised me. He holds fantastic conversation, listens and remembers things I say. He's hilarious and fun.

I'm not too interested in going back on the apps for any more irons as I don't really like multi dating especially once I've had sex with someone x

@MayEye do you really like him? As in, is he worth putting some effort in through this - is he worth it? If he really is good long term material, I probably would give him a bit of time, but I’d also make it clear that I’m not hanging around forever. Balls in his court.
@eesha the fast type diets - the sensible ones not the faddy ones are supposed to be reasonably quick.
@Dirtyduck sounds promising! Chemistry and friendliness- good combination.

I’m about to give my first ever date in 12 year my whatsapp number. To Mr Journalist - I’ve been clear that it’s probably just friendzone stuff, but still feels quite a big step! What if he turns out to be a pain/stalked/weird?! I’ve looked him up in the media and his articles are pretty good and insightful though.

@WingingItAtLife wow very impressed - 3 dates and one DTD! I must get more ‘irons’… (trying to get the lingo )
Mr Medical admitted losing jobs from fighting?!

@Rejoiningperson thanks! I think I've just been lucky tbh as a friend of mine is on the apps all the time but gets no dates at all. He can be quite passive aggressive though so maybe that comes across in his conversation, I don't know.

Yes Mr Medical did admit this to me, which I thought was a bit strange. He did say he has since grown up but he's only been in this current job for 8 months so still plenty of times for things to go wrong

Why do you feel like Mr journalist is just friendzone? x

It makes me happy reading about all these dates that people are going on or arranging. And thank you for all your kind words it really means a lot. I have to remember I gave her the best home and all the love she could ever want. She was one of the most spoilt cats and always got butter, ham, chicken, yoghurt etc when we had it. Now I just have to make sure I don't bawl my eyes out when I see Mr Cricket next week.

@WingingItAtLife thank you. I'm sorry about your dog they really do become part of you.

@Isitreallyme777 Sorry to hear about your cat.
I've always had cats but you never get used to them passing.
I find it easier to cope when they just don't return home rather than them being PTS or you find them passed, if they don't come home I just think they've found a new, better home and I'm then not upset.

How is your other cat doing?

@Dancerinthemoonlight A vegan who eats fish? so a pescetarian who doesnt eat dairy or eggs🤷‍♀️
I cannot bear people who try to put their food choices on others, just get on with eating what you want and be done with it. Don't try to convert everyone🙄
And as for not booking a table on a Friday🤦‍♀️

@MayEye If it was me with Mr TG I would go with the flow for now.
If his ex is that ill/not able to cope with her kids that Mr TG has got them then it would seem pretty serious so he probably has a lot to sort with schools and possibly social services. If he also works that is all a lot to cope with,nevermind the kids will be affected by it all.

I would check in with him every 3 - 4 days and not expect much back, he may still message occasionally.

I would also be prepared for this to go on longer, he may end up with his kids full time.

@Misty9 Great news about Mr Blue Eyes - when you're content being single the universe sends you someone.

@Letthefunandgamesstart How disappointing! What age is he?
While I agree that some men get performance anxiety I personally wouldn't meet him again.
There are lots of men out there who would love FWB who don't have performance anxiety why waste your time unless he is truly amazing in other areas.

I know that sounds harsh but when I was having my casual sex phase I wouldn't see a guy again if the sex was bad or he couldn't get an erection. I'm not wasting my time on bad sex when I knew great sex was out there waiting.

What were his reviews like on Fab?

I'm really pleased reading about everyone's dates too. It's wonderful hearing things are moving on with people's dates ❤️

@Isitreallyme777 😘😘

Sortingitout he is 66 - I'm 63 - allegedly he has had a couple of meets with couples and had a good time - no reviews on there. Not heard from him today so I'll leave things. He struggled to use protection too which was a bit of a damper !