Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Heartbeats0708

Couldn't find my tag for you *@BelladiMamma*! That kind of messaging isn't for everyone- me included- and it really contributed to me breaking things off with an iron once. It screamed needy and I found it suffocating. Hopefully it's an exception if he's feeling a bit isolated/struggling with work or parenting responsibilities?!

Thanks - and hope that things carry on well with MrD.

I must admit I'd rather have one very long message per day and a quick call in the evening or when we are both child free, then the constant checking in messages. We kind of don't need to check in with each other as we don't share DC or any other responsibilities. I've been up to his city a couple of time for things & if I can't see him I've message him just to say hi I'm passing through. Plus I have sent him updates of something has actually happened or about the football.

I think I just need to talk to him about it. I really enjoy his company and we've been having some great times. Seems silly to let this affect things.

... Pleased to see some good dates happening for people though ❤️

Just catching up with thread

@Isitreallyme777 - I'm so sorry about your cat, take care and I'm thinking of you x

I have a video date with MrMud tonight once his daughter goes to bed. I'm a little nervous so have made a short list of questions / conversation starters incase conversation dries up, I'm sure I wont need them though.

If it goes well tonight I was thinking of asking if he wanted to meet up for a coffee tomorrow afternoon (we are both free because he already mentioned it), it will be 2 weeks until my next childfree weekend which seems a long way away right now.

I better make myself presentable and put some makeup on

I don't like giving my number out until I'm sure that I want to talk to the person I'm giving it to. ❤️

@Dirtyduck

Just catching up with thread

@Isitreallyme777 - I'm so sorry about your cat, take care and I'm thinking of you x

I have a video date with MrMud tonight once his daughter goes to bed. I'm a little nervous so have made a short list of questions / conversation starters incase conversation dries up, I'm sure I wont need them though.

If it goes well tonight I was thinking of asking if he wanted to meet up for a coffee tomorrow afternoon (we are both free because he already mentioned it), it will be 2 weeks until my next childfree weekend which seems a long way away right now.

I better make myself presentable and put some makeup on

Have fun, @Dirtyduck! ❤️

@Heartbeats0708

So sorry to hear about your kitty *@Isitreallyme777* they really are members of the family. Mine is about to turn 10 and your post really resonated with me as he's always "there" for me. I hope sister is okay. *@Naimee87* see below.. *@Dancerinthemoonlight* you have a lot on! I hope your mood has improved now it's the weekend, enjoy your dates/zeros/chats! *@BelladiMamma* Sooooo.. Mr D and I have got closer. I was a bit nervous but I had no need to be. I know it's hormones and I need to mind myself but I'm just in that "wow, could he be any better" space and enjoying it!

So pleased to hear that, @Heartbeats! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you everyone.❤ I've been keeping myself busy all day. Had a nice call with the vet, it seems I couldn't have done anything and she was in the final stages of heart failure but cats hide pain so well. Her sister has to go in for a health check and heart scan at some point just to be safe as heart disease could run in the litter. It's just a weird feeling now. Mr Cricket checked on me this morning, I've had more support from him than my ex who hasn't even bothered to check I'm okay today and he knows damn well how I'm feeling. That hurts as I've done everything on my own, a little help would have been nice but the new girlfriend of 1 week is obviously more important.

@Isitreallyme777

Thank you everyone.❤ I've been keeping myself busy all day. Had a nice call with the vet, it seems I couldn't have done anything and she was in the final stages of heart failure but cats hide pain so well. Her sister has to go in for a health check and heart scan at some point just to be safe as heart disease could run in the litter. It's just a weird feeling now. Mr Cricket checked on me this morning, I've had more support from him than my ex who hasn't even bothered to check I'm okay today and he knows damn well how I'm feeling. That hurts as I've done everything on my own, a little help would have been nice but the new girlfriend of 1 week is obviously more important.

@Isitreallyme777 😘😘😘😘😘

Well done @Isitreallyme777 for getting through a really tough day. Been cuddling my hairy babe all the tighter poor thing as you just never know what life will do do you. I hope you’re ok

Meeting MrTrades on sunday. Really praying it’s not another waste of my time having to endure with an absolute weirdo. 😔

@BelladiMamma hope you manage to sort out the message irritations with MrBear. It’s a tricky one that isn't it as its clear he wants to reach out to you lots and feels comfortable doing so, and you don't want to hurt his feelings by letting him know how annoying it is….

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma hope you manage to sort out the message irritations with MrBear. It’s a tricky one that isn't it as its clear he wants to reach out to you lots and feels comfortable doing so, and you don't want to hurt his feelings by letting him know how annoying it is….[/quote]
@BelladiMamma hope you work it out too. I can see you really really like each other and hope the best for you ❤️

@heartbeats0708 my mood has improved. I have another interview to prep for. The email came through this afternoon.

Quick loo update. He is okay but conversation isn't glowing easily. Will update more later.

isitreally so sorry you've lost a huge part of your life 💐

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards 😘😘😘

@Shayelle2009 I'm doing okay, I'll get there just have to keep going.

Mr Cricket said it perfectly this morning her sister is lost just like her mum(I don't know what to do and her sister won't let me pick her up or cuddle her, it has to be on her terms). He said he wished he could have seen me today, I wish he could too as I need a hug so much right now.

@WeWantTheFinestWines thank you 😘

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@heartbeats0708 my mood has improved. I have another interview to prep for. The email came through this afternoon.

Quick loo update. He is okay but conversation isn't glowing easily. Will update more later.[/quote]
Hope that you have an improved time / good night out after this loo update ....!

ThNk you @Shayelle2009 & @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards ... this is why I plastered all over my profile 'time poor independent woman' it's basically code for 'I'm really busy and I'm crap at dealing with any extra responsibilities'

isitreallyme777 - so sorry about kitty - I lost my last one 4 years ago and have promised myself not to go through that heartbreak again.

My first not entirely social fab meet has just left . Met for the first time last week - no pressure at all. Dinner tonight - again no pressure so I invited him back to mine - was so looking forward to it as we get on ok and what a disappointment it was. He just couldn't keep it going lol. Had a nice cuddle and chat after we gave up but where do I go from here? He seemed a bit embarrassed and I just gave up - he said he'd like to do it again when we have more time - have a feeling that won't happen. To make matters worse, my real friend (who provides benefits) invited me round tonight but I declined !! We are busy doing other things for 3 weeks now

@Letthefunandgamesstart

isitreallyme777 - so sorry about kitty - I lost my last one 4 years ago and have promised myself not to go through that heartbreak again.

My first not entirely social fab meet has just left . Met for the first time last week - no pressure at all. Dinner tonight - again no pressure so I invited him back to mine - was so looking forward to it as we get on ok and what a disappointment it was. He just couldn't keep it going lol. Had a nice cuddle and chat after we gave up but where do I go from here? He seemed a bit embarrassed and I just gave up - he said he'd like to do it again when we have more time - have a feeling that won't happen. To make matters worse, my real friend (who provides benefits) invited me round tonight but I declined !! We are busy doing other things for 3 weeks now

I'd give him a second chance, men do suffer first night nerves. If you get on well and want to shag him, try again, with no pressure.

Mind you, if you have a FWB, what is it you're looking for?

vangoghsdog my FWB is lovely but our time is very limited - we only get together every few weeks and always at one of our homes. I want more regular than that .

Quick update from me as I’m a bit sad this evening. Things had gotten great with Mr TG, and out of the blue yesterday he mentioned his ex causing issues ( I knew they didn’t get on but he rarely mentions her) and today again that she had been texting him ranting at 5.30 this morning. We messaged a bit about it and he said he might need to take his younger 2 kids to his for a while so something has obviously kicked off majorly. I was sympathetic without prying into it as it’s not my place. He can talk to me when he wants.

He and just messaged me tonight saying he needs to take a break from us for the next few weeks while he has his kids and deals with this.
I’m a bit sad and don’t really know what to say. I understand his need for space and maybe having to consider me in all this is just too much on top of everything. But it’s not like we would have seen each other anyway until maybe next weekend when he could have passed on meeting. So really it means he doesn’t want any contact while he sorts things. On the one hand I get it but on the other I’m worried it’s the beginning of a slow fade or the brush off. My last iron did this, blamed a load of work stress as a reason to cool things and said he’d be in touch and never contacted me again.
I’m going to respond that I understand his need to prioritise family right now and I’m here if he needs me and to get in touch when he’s ready but I’m really uneasy about it all …and how long do you wait?

@MayEye

Quick update from me as I’m a bit sad this evening. Things had gotten great with Mr TG, and out of the blue yesterday he mentioned his ex causing issues ( I knew they didn’t get on but he rarely mentions her) and today again that she had been texting him ranting at 5.30 this morning. We messaged a bit about it and he said he might need to take his younger 2 kids to his for a while so something has obviously kicked off majorly. I was sympathetic without prying into it as it’s not my place. He can talk to me when he wants.

He and just messaged me tonight saying he needs to take a break from us for the next few weeks while he has his kids and deals with this.
I’m a bit sad and don’t really know what to say. I understand his need for space and maybe having to consider me in all this is just too much on top of everything. But it’s not like we would have seen each other anyway until maybe next weekend when he could have passed on meeting. So really it means he doesn’t want any contact while he sorts things. On the one hand I get it but on the other I’m worried it’s the beginning of a slow fade or the brush off. My last iron did this, blamed a load of work stress as a reason to cool things and said he’d be in touch and never contacted me again.
I’m going to respond that I understand his need to prioritise family right now and I’m here if he needs me and to get in touch when he’s ready but I’m really uneasy about it all …and how long do you wait?

@MayEye just checking this is a name change?

In any case, I am sorry you're having a rough time.

If so, where was MrTG going to fit in when you moved? Is this in any way helpful for you to have a mutual slow fade? Or were you hoping to keep things going?

@BelladiMamma slight name change but I’m not moving.
Story to now is have been seeing each other for over 7 months, very slow paced, and I’ve been frustrated at times with his lack of initiative re dates etc but the last month or so we have gotten closer, my mindset has changed to one of enjoying it as it is and things were going well. I was planning on suggesting a trip together next month and things had just seemed more open and relaxed between us.
Now this is a setback, as no contact whatsoever for a couple of weeks means things might not recover. Or it could be an excuse on his part to end things without ending them and I’ve totally misread the situation up to now
I feel like my choices are give him space or end it and I don’t want to end it so space it is for now.

@BelladiMamma

ThNk you *@Shayelle2009 & @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* ... this is why I plastered all over my profile 'time poor independent woman' it's basically code for 'I'm really busy and I'm crap at dealing with any extra responsibilities'

@BelladiMamma ❤️

[quote Isitreallyme777]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards 😘😘😘

@Shayelle2009 I'm doing okay, I'll get there just have to keep going.

Mr Cricket said it perfectly this morning her sister is lost just like her mum(I don't know what to do and her sister won't let me pick her up or cuddle her, it has to be on her terms). He said he wished he could have seen me today, I wish he could too as I need a hug so much right now.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme777 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗