Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@VanGoghsDog @SpringlikeBunk @Rejoiningperson. Thank you I'm heartbroken I thought I had her for a good few more years, she's been by my side throughout lockdown too(heart disease is a bugger and something I didn't know she had, she was due to get a heart scan for a galloping heartbeat). I don't have children so they get all my love. Mr Cricket made a good point last night saying her sister is in shock, she literally wouldn't come near me last night and this morning she is lying on me exactly where her sister would.

@Isitreallyme777 oh love I am so so sorry for your loss, you must be devastated. They mean so much don’t they 💔 look after yourself today xxx

@SpringlikeBunk that fab guy sounded like a chancing creep.

I really hope MrTrades acts like your MrDinner. I am really sparking with MrTrades on messaging.. he sounds great.. we just need to get a meet in now!

@Isitreallyme777, aww what sad news about your cat. I lost one of mine last year and it’s horrible. You gave her a loving home and a wonderful life I’m sure 💔

@Shayelle2009 thank you. as a friend said little bastard heart stealers. they got me through my marriage breakdown, they were the reason I got up and carried on when I couldn't see a reason to. I'm now worried about her sister as she isn't eating. My ex is busy with his new girlfriend this weekend and he was the one person I could do with seeing (they were his cats as well and i had to deal with it all on my own yesterday). I just want life to give me a break.

@Onesmallstep67 thank you. I feel like I should be used to it as I've had cats all my life. It never gets easier.

@Isitreallyme777

Evening everyone, I've had a traumatic day today. One of beloved cats who got me through my darkest days when I could have easily given up sadly had a heart attack this morning, she was only 9. 💔😭 To say I'm devastated is an understatement I was literally playing with her minutes before it happened. It puts everything into perspective. Mr Cricket has been so kind and even though he is currently seeing friends has been messaging. I'm seeing him next week, not sure I'll hold it together mind you and bursting into tears on him may not be attractive.

I am so sorry. All my condolences 💐 I even just woke up from a dream about my last cat 🐈 I really miss her.

@Isitreallyme777 oh my gosh! i’m so sorry to hear this! Sending you a hug and a 💜

@Isitreallyme777 yes they’re our little soul mates, besties, protectors aren’t they. It’s the worst part of having a pet.. they don’t live as long as us and it’s not fair. What a horrible shock for you x

@Isitreallyme777 I’m so sorry to hear of your loss — grief is such a difficult time, my thoughts are with you.

All is still going well with the man I have been dating, I must give him a name but I think I’ve been hugely outing already and don’t want to make it worse, haha.

I feel comfortable that we are existing in casual monogamy and it all seems very honest. I’m really pleased I laid my cards on the table at the beginning and opened that conversation.

He told me last night that he was talking to his friend about me and his friend commented that it was the most he had talked about/ brought up someone he is dating for a long time so he must like me. However, that conversation with his friend freaked him a little and made him realise how scared he is of getting into something properly. We both seem scared to get our hearts broken again after difficult relationship breakdowns and so I don’t think it will go anywhere but it is just so lovely to have such an open and honest thing going on at the moment. I’m really enjoying it and he feels like a great friend.

Not the best sex though. It’s great in some ways and I really enjoy his company but it just doesn’t totally hit the spot. Pun intended 😂

Sorry to.hear about your cat xx

@Shayelle2009 happy to hear about MrTrades! Let us know how the date goes!
@SpringlikeBunk @Dancerinthemoonlightso you too have so much going on in your wolds at the minute, i've no clue how you keep up with everything. You're both way more adventurous than i am thats for sure. If things don't work with MrElf think i'll take some leaves out of your books and just get out there a bit more
I feel for you with the work sitution. I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment and would love a change but given my situation i can't take a risk and change to something new as i need the stability for now. Have you got more interviews lined up or waiting to hear back from any other opportunities?

@naimee87 no more interviews lined up and no more to hear back from. I have been applying and will continue to apply so hopefully something will turn up soon.
It's disheartening to get the same feedback from interviews so I don't know how I can improve.

Mr Spontaneous has been in touch and suggested a different date slightly further away as he is busy the day I suggested. Next date should be 17th July.

@RamonaLark sounds like you have someone genuine there! Pity about the sex… any way to make it better?
@Dancerinthemoonlight and @SpringlikeBunk @Shayelle2009 taking inspiration from all of you! Braver than I am at the moment.
MrJournalist - the interesting man from abroad - is quite respectful and also quite keen. He wants to move onto whatsapp - which I agreed to, but as I’m new to all of this also kind of freaks me out even that! I hadn’t realised I’d grown so protective. I think he will subtly push for another meeting…

Thanks @Naimee87 and @Rejoiningperson ☺️

I’m also wary about numbers @Rejoiningperson.. MrTrades has given me his and I said I’d msg him but I haven’t yet and am just still on tinder but he’s fine and not pressuring. Feel safer that way… he does seem really decent though, but I’m not trusting with my number just yet.. 🤣
I’ve also googled his number and his business has come up so he is who he says he is.. and got good reviews 😊

@Dancerinthemoonlight I know the feeling are you trying to branch out totally into something new? perhaps @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards can give you some sneaky HR tips for interviews? I know this was the toughest part of getting my job! Was so sure i'd come across as completely useless! The interviewer was so dead-pan i couldn't read any of her facial expressions at all! I sit my next truck test in the summer and if this goes well i will do my best to look at splitting jobs so i'm only partly glued to my laptop/phone! Well that's my plan @Heartbeats0708 how you feeling about the weekend? Nervous or excited i'm a bag of nerves! Working all day then my son's getting picked up by my parents and i'll get to see MrElf!! Ooooooh! A proper date 'night'

@naimee87 no I'm not. I have been doing the job for the last 4+ years but used to be self employed and that seems to be going against me as companies assume that as soon as the pandemic is over I will go back to being freelance/self employed. I have seen the benefits of being employed by a company so want to stay I just want to leave my current company due to it being toxic.
It's the events industry that has been severely affected by covid so there are so many people out of work meaning 200+ applicants for everyjob

My update is I've only been able to see Mr Bear once since our mini break; I'll see him once per week then we're going away together for 2 weeks.

His messaging is annoying me a but so I've left a bit of space between message replies and mine. I get the impression that my life is busier than his; he's got 3 kids and a busy job but doesn't get as involved in his friendship and family circle as I do. So I'm his outlet.

This so often seems to be the way with men doesn't it? You're basically their social life and their emotional outlet.

Also the only one of his children that he has full time is his 10 year old who's got mild SEN and has sleep problems. So he is a bit frazzled by that.

The messages are fairly frequent and very much of the 'what are up to I've just had lunch' type. Also he's sorting me a couple of IT things out and that requires some answers from me. I'm just thinking I'm a very independent slightly grumpy person at this stage and wondering why he needs to hear from me so much about niggly IT things.

Feeling like I needed to have that moan. Hopefully I'll feel better after it 🤪

@Isitreallyme777 so sorry to hear about your cat 😔 I lost one of mine a month or so after ex dh walked out on me and me and kids were beside ourselves but ex did step up and take care of cremation etc for me. Cats brother did mourn for a while but we eventually introduced a new kitten which he took to. Shes now the boss of him (and us 😄) but they get on ok 😊

It is interesting with messages @BelladiMamma and @Naimee87

I agree I've learned to be a bit more thoughtful with my number/giving it out otherwise it's so easy to get overwhelmed with feeling obligated to reply immediately (especially with the fucking "message read" thing)

I'm definitely doing a LOT more dating than I have for the last year! I think I was getting to the "slight social anxiety" stage with lockdown and WFH/studying and being naturally introverted.

So overthinking/overanalysing too much, getting "oneitis" over guys (and maybe being afraid of getting it wrong?).

But as long as I'm keeping Ok boundaries for myself and not leading people on, I'm learning as I go along I feel.

[quote Naimee87]**@Dancerinthemoonlight* I know the feeling are you trying to branch out totally into something new? perhaps @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards can give you some sneaky HR tips for interviews? I know this was the toughest part of getting my job! Was so sure i'd come across as completely useless! The interviewer was so dead-pan i couldn't read any of her facial expressions at all! I sit my next truck test in the summer and if this goes well i will do my best to look at splitting jobs so i'm only partly glued to my laptop/phone! Well that's my plan @Heartbeats0708* how you feeling about the weekend? Nervous or excited i'm a bag of nerves! Working all day then my son's getting picked up by my parents and i'll get to see MrElf!! Ooooooh! A proper date 'night'[/quote]
@Naimee87 thank you 😊 I'm not sure I'm the right person to give anyone tips though. I haven't worked for two years. ❤️

@Isitreallyme77 sending you love ❤️

So sorry to hear about your kitty @Isitreallyme777 they really are members of the family. Mine is about to turn 10 and your post really resonated with me as he's always "there" for me. I hope sister is okay.
@Naimee87 see below..
@Dancerinthemoonlight you have a lot on! I hope your mood has improved now it's the weekend, enjoy your dates/zeros/chats!
@BelladiMamma
Sooooo.. Mr D and I have got closer. I was a bit nervous but I had no need to be. I know it's hormones and I need to mind myself but I'm just in that "wow, could he be any better" space and enjoying it!

Couldn't find my tag for you @BelladiMamma! That kind of messaging isn't for everyone- me included- and it really contributed to me breaking things off with an iron once. It screamed needy and I found it suffocating. Hopefully it's an exception if he's feeling a bit isolated/struggling with work or parenting responsibilities?!