Just for fun: apply Relationships advice, ruin a song

[BlowDryRat]

I'll start.

Why are you begging Jolene not to steal 'your man'? If he's willing to be 'stolen' then your relationship is over. Get some self respect and LTB.

Young Girl by Gary Puckett & The Union Gap . YUK!!!

'Only Cis-women bleed' - My Malice Pooper

Man makes your hair gray, he's your life's mistake
All you're really lookin' for is an even break
He lies right at you, you know you hate this game
He slaps you once in a while and you live and love in pain
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed

LTB

Love the thread OP, thought it was only me that cringed at some of the mental lyrics. But can I just say in defence of Meatloaf that he won't do that, pretty sure refers to won't cheat. So he's a keeper

Never mind the mohair suits and foreign shoes, Kirsty, your suspicions are spot on. And the chip shop guy doesn’t sound any better. Why not take up a new hobby and meet some different men? I hear cycling is very popular.

OP:My DW always says to me

I put a spell on you because you're mine
You better stop the things that you do
I ain't lyin', no, I ain't lyin'
I just can't stand it babe
The way you're always runnin' 'round
I just can't stand it, the way you always put me down
I put a spell on you because you're mine

I’m sure she doesn’t mean anything by it, she is a really great, but what do you think?

Most of MN: is she into voodoo, witchcraft or just really controlling ? You need to get your ducks in a row and LTB, this is not a healthy relationship

Crack on with the hitting with the rhythm stick, Ian, if that is what floats your boat. But make sure you have a “safe word” so your partner knows when to stop.

Hit me baby one more time.
Er, no thanks.

'I must confess that my loneliness is killing me now
Don't you know I still believe
That you will be here and give me a sign
Hit me, baby, one more time'

Get a life. He's gone and he was probably an abusive creep who targeted you. If he hit you call the domestic abuse hotline.

They say you're no-one
Until you're somebody to someone

No they don't, nobody ever said that Jess Glynne, don't be so pathetic.

Joe, if your mother routinely told you to “shaddap you face”, you may wish to join us on the Stately Homes threads.

I hope he buys you flowers...
Take you to every party cause I remember how much you love to dance...
Do all the things I should've done when I was your man.

Yes Bruno, she found someone better.

Look. You can't go off shagging other women because you're a bit bored and expect me just to wait around. Get some self respect and stop being a dick

A little time, Beautiful South

Although actually that was the end to that song, now I think about it...

Look Ruby love. Your husband is both physically disabled and traumatised. I get that you are lonely and he's not the man you married but instead of spending all your evenings in the pub with other men maybe you should just leave him. He deserves better and its not going to end well.

Or....

Leave the bitch Kenny... Having said that threats of violence are never OK.

Look, Lola. You might have plucked your eyebrows on the way, AND shaved your legs, but you are not a biological woman.

@CeliaCanth

Look, Lola. You might have plucked your eyebrows on the way, AND shaved your legs, but you are not a biological woman.

This finally finished me off 😂😂😂

Could it be I'm falling in love?

Hope you can swim.

Three lines on a shirt
Jewels remain still gleaming