Just for fun: apply Relationships advice, ruin a song

[BlowDryRat]

I'll start.

Why are you begging Jolene not to steal 'your man'? If he's willing to be 'stolen' then your relationship is over. Get some self respect and LTB.

See you were doing really well there and then that final line… we’ll it kinda makes me think you just want to me shut up! Rude! It’s over!

(You say it best) When you say nothing at all-Ronan Keating

This is just me roasting Busted again but

You wonder why her dad never liked you? Maybe its because he already has you sussed as the sort of person who instead of telling his daughter how you felt about her at literally any other point in time - decided to crash her wedding. And now that's the ten grand that he spent on the reception and the flowers and the fucking doves she insisted on, down the swanny too.

I loved busted...but have to admit now adays that their songs are so chall full of male entitlement and general arsery.

Did you know, that when it snows, my eyes become large...

You might want to get that checked out, Seal. No, that's not healthy.

I loved busted...but have to admit now adays that their songs are so chall full of male entitlement and general arsery.

I always hated them for that reason, even though I was supposedly the target audience. It was just shit music as well.

Celine, you split up because you were always hurting each other. What has changed? Just because he is pretty and a good kisser, you had a reason to separate. Forget him and move on!

(Celine Dion, Its All Coming Back To Me Now)

She had another man in the bed in the time it took you to get up and wash your face (what the fuck were you doing?). Why are you falling on the floor laughing when she loves you again? Get some self respect, for fuck's sake.

@DrSbaitso is winning this game 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[quote 4amWitchingHour]@DrSbaitso is winning this game 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻[/quote]
I'm enjoying it far too much! 😆

Maybe I didn’t love you, quite as often as I should have,
Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time,
But you were always on my mind,
You were always on my mind.

Nah, not good enough. I’ve nicked the batteries from the remote for my vibrator, and your best mate’s on his way round. He took the time. Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.

Girl I’m gonna make you sweat
Sweat till you can’t sweat no more
And when you cry out
I’m gonna push it, push it some more.

You’re chucked. Pass the Canesten before you go.

I stand outside this woman’s work
This woman’s work
Ooh it’s hard on the man
His part is over

Hard on the man? Would be like to swap places so he can spend 26 hours pushing a bowling ball out of his arsehole while I eat sandwiches and do a sudoku?

Wake up wake up wake up wake up
Let’s make love tonight
Get up get up get up get up get up
Cos you do it right

FUCK OFF

the first cut is the deepest
but I’ll try to love again

Grow up Cat Stevens you self indulgent man child and stop finding excuses for your total inability to commit

Don’t say a word, my virgin child
Just let your inhibitions run wild

Hello, I’d like the police please.

Look Susan, there's nowt good about being hurt - bouncing you like a rubber ball? Scandalising your name in the street? Playing with your mind? He's a psychopath. The hills are that way ->

Look Dolly, just because he looks better than any man has a right to, it doesn't mean he can just crook his finger and you come running whenever he feels like it. You were just about to get yourself together - you can do it again. Block and move on. Go dancing with your friend Dua Lipa and take some tips from her new rules.

I love that Dolly song.

She's got her tongue firmly in her cheek, but she knows...

My relationships board advice on that one would be "Well, if you must, you must, but use protection (he sounds like he gets around just a little) and watch out for the cock lodging. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
PS Have fun!"

Yes, your baby mama has a bigger car and crib than you. Because she looks after the bloody kids.

(Gold Digger - Kanye West)

Look love, if you're in the vicinity of your missus while you're on the phone to another woman (and dreaming about her to boot) I think it's best that you're honest with your missus so she can get her ducks in a row and dump your lying, cheating, spineless arse.

Hinder - Lips of an angel

Saying "I love you"
Is not the words I want to hear from you”

Well how about go and shag yourself mate then, because that pseudo poetic bluff calling claptrap isn’t going to wash with me.
Just cause you’ve got long hair and think you’re cool it doesn’t mean you can dress up wanting a quickie and think I’m blind to it

Extreme
More than Words

A song which always made me want to ram Nuno Bettencourt’s guitar up the singer’s arse

'Ouch! No, that's not the right place. No, not there either. FGS get your act together, I think my leg's going numb.'

Madonna 'Like a Virgin'.

“Sign your name across my heart, I want you to be my lady”

Erm that might be a tad painful

Sign your name across my heart
TTD

@Cleverpolly3 buuuuttttt... Nuno Bettancourt can say what he likes because he's proper lush!

“I’m crazy for you. Touch me once and you know it’s true”

Altogether depends if they’re good with their hands, love