Oh OP 
It's a damage limitation exercise really, isn't it.
Since your annoying whore-face sounds as though it's already inflammatory enough, I'd be doing my best to avoid antagonising him (like obviously adversarial evidence-gathering). Keeping a private journal, if it's possible for you to obtain/maintain any such privacy, might be a good way to record events and feelings, and refocus your energies.
Damage limitation means protecting yourself and DD from harm, which (at the very least) is bound to include complete headfuckery. He will be miserably emphatic about "all the damage you have done" (DARVO alert!), and in the face of his distress/fury/loathing you have to find a way to stay calm and settled in your understanding of the situation. It's going to be tough.
I'm pretty sure you have by now constructed your little life-raft of things to cling on to -- a solid base of "We would never have got to this point if he hadn't kept demonstrating, and continuing to demonstrate, that his default setting is to be mean-spirited" woven together with knowing you can never love someone like that, a life of fake love is not worth the pretence, and even he stands a better chance of happiness if you split. The rope holding your raft together is woven from strands like the willy comment, promises to destroy your career (erm, how does that serve DD's best interests?) and wanting you dead... plus his astonishingly idiotic lack of connection with anything that doesn't immediately serve his own interests ("come in for a cuddle"?!?!?!??!?! WTAF 🤣).
Will you visit your parents when you get home? You need to rally support IRL.
Wishing you a trauma-free journey home and sending you love and strength for what lies ahead. Keep your eyes on the prize: a future free of this horrible ongoing trauma! It's like being married to someone who insists on doing plops everywhere and just leaving them for you to clear up. Just think, one day you won't have to keep mopping up his crap.