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This is monumentally shit, right?

260 replies

yukitree · 06/06/2021 23:00

I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months, things have been going really well and it's at the stage where things are starting to get a bit more serious. We had plans for this evening for us to get a take out at his. He went to the pub with his friends this afternoon, then I text him when I was leaving and he invited me to the pub too. This is probably a bit naive on my part, but I expected to stay for a drink and then do the original plan of going back to his. When I showed up he was drunk, and I sat there for an hour and a half feeling awkward with 4 blokes I hadn't met before. During which he was jokingly asking things like 'who would you bang out of my friends'. To be honest I felt really uncomfortable the whole time, and maybe I should've preempted it, but had I known I'd be sitting there for over an hour with men I didn't know (whilst really hungry as I hadn't had any dinner!) I wouldn't have bothered. I could've forgiven the sitting in the pub awkwardly for an hour and a half but then to make matters worse, he decides to drive home, he'd had at least 6 pints so he was well over the limit.

Up to this point I had really liked him, there were no red flags and things were going great. I feel really upset (maybe I'm being sensitive), but this is monumentally shit isn't it and I shouldn't see him again. Oh and to add - we are both in our late 30s with children.

OP posts:
Bellringer · 07/06/2021 06:33

At this stage it's a small dissapointment. Get out now whilst you have no investment. So disrespectful, you can do better.

Eddielzzard · 07/06/2021 06:40

The questions would have been enough to put me off but the drunk driving is absolutely the end.

pictish · 07/06/2021 06:44

I wouldn’t be happy about any of it. I’d have been up and away at “which of my friends would you bang?”
The drink driving is awful. What an arsehole. He’s not bothered about impressing you is he? Says a lot about how he views you or even women in general. At this stage he should be going all out to present the best of himself...but he’s not. He embarrasses you in front of his mates then drives home after six pints.
NEXT!

Paq · 07/06/2021 06:49

Yes, terrible. Absolutely no going back.

But why on earth would you stay? He was drunk, you were uncomfortable and hungry, you should have just left!

BeneficiaryMadness · 07/06/2021 06:54

Please tell me you rang the police the minute he left????

JadedStrumpet · 07/06/2021 07:00

He's shown you who he is and it's not pretty. No decent man humiliates you like he did in front of his friends. Only an absolute arsehole drinks drives.

Text him to break it off and block. He deserves no greater consideration.

PussGirl · 07/06/2021 07:00

Did you get the sensible friend's number?

He's the one you ought to be banging Grin

Seriously though - drink driving is completely inexcusable. He sounds like an arse.

daisychain01 · 07/06/2021 07:02

Sorry to bring COVID into this, but he has scant regard for infection, going down the pub at the moment, getting so drunk he asks you which of his friends you'd sleep with and leaving you sitting there for an hour. And drink driving.

What more evidence do you need? Do you really see yourself longterm with this brand of numbskull.

NoMoreAngelDelight · 07/06/2021 07:03

He’s a loser.. ditch.

pilates · 07/06/2021 07:04

Bin him, just on the drink driving let alone the rest.

category12 · 07/06/2021 07:07

It's really unlikely that his drink driving and horrible drunk behaviour is a one-off.

Therefore dump.

FlamingoQueen · 07/06/2021 07:10

Wow! Tbh, I think you’re very lucky that this isn’t a ‘I had a drink with my bf last night and he’s now in custody for drink driving and killing someone’ post!
I would lose all respect for anyone that did this and I would have rung the police.

Borderterrierpuppy · 07/06/2021 07:11

Please bin him, he is a pub dweller and believe me a future with him will just be more of the same xx

applespearslemons · 07/06/2021 07:11

What happened then? Did you drive yourself home alone?

Ah sorry OP: you must be feeling really disappointed. He has shown himself up to he an immature prat

I think it's all excusable behaviour, given the year we had, well
Maybe not the banging my friend part, but drink driving is unforgivable.

Lucky you found out now

bigbaggyeyes · 07/06/2021 07:12

The inviting you to the pub could have been a bit of a drunk miscalculation. It's great he invited you and his mates were there. I'd not see that as a red flag. I actually thought you were going to say he was using you as a taxi service. In which case I might be a bit annoyed

However drink driving would be a deal breaker for me. It shows a complete lack of respect towards life and a totally selfish attitude.

DoingItMyself · 07/06/2021 07:20

he was jokingly asking things like 'who would you bang out of my friends'

He was setting you up to shag his mates. That's how much he values you.

I knew a woman. She went to her 'boyfriend's house for the weekend. He locked her in and called his mates round. She was raped all weekend by several men. They let her go on the Monday morning, thank God. They didn't kill her.

'Jokingly'. Hmm.

Bluedeblue · 07/06/2021 07:21

So what did you do, did you go back to his or what?

I'd not see him again. He sounds like an idiot. Asking who you'd sleep with out of his mates? uugh

Subbaxeo · 07/06/2021 07:24

Why are you even asking?

ContinuousMonotoneBeep · 07/06/2021 07:24

The being drunk paet might have beena forgivable situation. The "who would you bang out of my friends" a warning sign he's immature idiot or a prick. But the drink driving would be the end,

Presuming you didn't drive to his for the takeaway to carry on as originally planned, I would suggest phoning him and ending it with him (tell him why).

You might consider speaking to your local.police if you for some reason didn't call them them time. Not sure what they can do now after the incident but drunk driving is such disgraceful behaviour.i don't think I could let it go.

Bananahana · 07/06/2021 07:32

The pub thing - he was drunk, it’s forgiveable.

The drunk driving issue - that’s the real issue, the real red flag. No way should be have driven, or been allowed to drive. I’d have called the police.

This is the issue you raise with him today.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 07/06/2021 07:34

That would be the end for me.

StuffinThePuffin · 07/06/2021 07:36

I'm so sorry OP. Sounds like you were expecting a nice date with a man you thought was great, but instead you got a big shit sandwich.

As others have said, at least you found out what he's like so early on. It would be even worse if you two were getting serious.

skodadoda · 07/06/2021 07:40

‘Out of the mouths of babes and drunkards comes forth the truth’.
To those saying the police would do nothing, that’s nonsense. OP could have called them, told them his address, and they would have been waiting for him when he got home.

CutieBear · 07/06/2021 07:46

Dump him for drunk driving! He could’ve killed someone. He has DC he could put in danger in future! This isn’t a man you want around your DC either. Why are you even posting this? I would’ve dumped him on the spot.

LordOfTheOnionRings · 07/06/2021 07:47

He obviously drink drives on the regular if he is that comfortable doing it around someone he will still be trying to impress.

You should associate with someone who does that, he will kill someone one day.

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