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This is monumentally shit, right?

260 replies

yukitree · 06/06/2021 23:00

I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months, things have been going really well and it's at the stage where things are starting to get a bit more serious. We had plans for this evening for us to get a take out at his. He went to the pub with his friends this afternoon, then I text him when I was leaving and he invited me to the pub too. This is probably a bit naive on my part, but I expected to stay for a drink and then do the original plan of going back to his. When I showed up he was drunk, and I sat there for an hour and a half feeling awkward with 4 blokes I hadn't met before. During which he was jokingly asking things like 'who would you bang out of my friends'. To be honest I felt really uncomfortable the whole time, and maybe I should've preempted it, but had I known I'd be sitting there for over an hour with men I didn't know (whilst really hungry as I hadn't had any dinner!) I wouldn't have bothered. I could've forgiven the sitting in the pub awkwardly for an hour and a half but then to make matters worse, he decides to drive home, he'd had at least 6 pints so he was well over the limit.

Up to this point I had really liked him, there were no red flags and things were going great. I feel really upset (maybe I'm being sensitive), but this is monumentally shit isn't it and I shouldn't see him again. Oh and to add - we are both in our late 30s with children.

OP posts:
ladygoingGaga · 06/06/2021 23:15

I think you know the answer.
You have had a glimpse into the real him tonight, thank goodness.
Now run.
His behaviour towards you was totally unacceptable, shown what he really thinks about women.
The drink driving just shows how little he cares for others too.
I think you have had a lucky escape. Sorry OP

CassandraTrotter · 06/06/2021 23:17

Well, he is a cock and I would block him immediately .

SpringSparrow · 06/06/2021 23:20

Drink driving is unforgivable . You should call the police on him. What if he kills someone. Also the comments in the pub. He’s shown you who he is. I wouldn’t see him again .

nimbuscloud · 06/06/2021 23:23

Presumably you have binned him.

L0bstersLass · 06/06/2021 23:23

Drink driving is unforgivable. The comments re: his friends were crass.
Personally, when he refused for him to drive you home and insisted on driving himself - I'd have ditched him then and there.

Are you still with him (in his company) now?

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 06/06/2021 23:23

Did you drive yourself home to your own house ?

Have you spoken to him since?

I would totally hun him. Insisting on driving after 6 pints ???Shock
And he has kids of his own. What an absolute let down for you.

MadameQuaver · 06/06/2021 23:24

He sounds revolting!

FeatheredHope · 06/06/2021 23:24

I know it’s not much comfort, but at least you know now and can step away without wasting any more time or emotion on him.

And I would have called the police on him.

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 06/06/2021 23:24

Have my first LTB. Yes, it is monumentally shit. You and your children deserve way better.

BrilloSolar · 06/06/2021 23:24

It sounds like a pretty shit night for you, but could just put it down to being out of lockdown, having too many, etc. I'd possibly not continue the relationship after it, especially the inappropriate comments, but would have to judge it on how he was normally when sober, if he apologised after, if it was a one off, etc.

But driving after 6 pints is utterly despicable behaviour and so none of his behaviour in the pub even matters. I'd 100% have called the police (And I know it's always easy for people to say on here 'I'd have done...', but I absolutely would have done in this case.

If he happily got behind the wheel after 6 pints, he's done it before and will do it again. It is just disgusting that he thinks it's ok. Sensible drivers and innocent pedestrians who were just going about their day have their lives suddenly taken away by people like him, leaving behind shattered families.

I'd tell him exactly what I thought of him, block and move on.

MadameQuaver · 06/06/2021 23:26

All those that are saying to call the police, do you honestly think the police would do anything? They probably wouldn't do anything even if the drunk driving was reported at the very time he did it let alone hours after the event, sadly.

Sunflower1970 · 06/06/2021 23:27

Bin him off - he is an irresponsible selfish arsehole

copperpotsalot · 06/06/2021 23:30

This is still him on his best behaviour of it's only a few months in... imagine him when he's showing the deal him

Nannyamc · 06/06/2021 23:32

Sad day for you. Drink driving is not acceptable. Have seen my df and ds do this and in the end face the consequences. Everyone else faced the fallout. You need to accept this straight away and not be treated this way. Been there done that. Please look after yourself

longcoffeebreak · 06/06/2021 23:33

Total
Dealbreaker

BrilloSolar · 06/06/2021 23:36

@MadameQuaver Yes, I think most people are saying they'd have call the police as soon as he got in the car - with his reg, the place he'd just left and his address.

Yes, Maybe (probably) they'd be too busy to do anything, but at least I would have done all I could. Plus there may be a police car in the area. Yes, the police are over stretched, but there will often be officers returning from a call or on a non-urgent job who may be in the right place at the right time.

QueSeraSarah · 06/06/2021 23:36

Aye. Chuck him back.

ElizabethTudor · 06/06/2021 23:37

I’d bin him off and make it clear why :

  • drink driving is absolutely unacceptable. No excuses for it.
  • asking you who you’d bang out his mates. Seriously? And you just know his answer for that is ‘bants.’ Bleugghh.
Jesskir89 · 06/06/2021 23:42

Everything about this is him taking the absolute piss. Fobbing your plans off, embarrassing you in front of his friends and then driving home drunk
... and fobbing your plans off again.... nope sorry op hes not the guy for you and you know it

Zzelda · 06/06/2021 23:43

Get rid. But not before you tell him that if you ever come across him driving drunk again you will be reporting him to the police.

Itsacakebaby · 06/06/2021 23:45

Sounds an utter dick and the drink driving is absolutely AWFUL. Never, ever an excuse.
You could do so much better I'm sure.
Don't waste anymore of your time on him.

UnFringed · 06/06/2021 23:45

So are you going to bin him? The pub thing I’d not be bothered about (accidentally day drunk and wanting you to meet his mates).

But the drink driving and swearing at his mate is awful!

Addicted2LoveIsland · 06/06/2021 23:46

Yuck. How disrespectful him asking that awful question!! I would never see him again based on that alone.
And what a moron drunk driving. Bin him!!!

BluePheasant · 06/06/2021 23:50

Completely shit but he's done you a favour and shown you who he is. Saves you from wasting a lot of time.

Onalake · 06/06/2021 23:51

@MadameQuaver

All those that are saying to call the police, do you honestly think the police would do anything? They probably wouldn't do anything even if the drunk driving was reported at the very time he did it let alone hours after the event, sadly.
I reported my husband for drink driving. Police went out looking for him, found him asleep in the car at the side of the road.

He got an 18 month ban.

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