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Original poster

Husband said he will divorce me if I get Botox

268 replies

0zzyfan · 05/06/2021 21:14

....... and I got it on Thursday .....

I have wanted it for some time, and love it!
The effects haven’t fully started yet, but I mentioned a friend (who was with me) had it and he hit the roof!

Said point blank - if I fucked with my face he would leave me over it. No questions asked.

The only question I have is - should I pack his bags for him and tell him? Or just ignore him and continue making myself happy?!

OP posts:
grapewine · 05/06/2021 21:48

@Winkywonkydonkey

If it's joint finances I'd be annoyed at a few hundred pounds going on face-feeezing every few months. But each to their own.
Agree with this. He's entitled to his opinion.
coronaway · 05/06/2021 22:09

His reaction was a bit extreme as a pp said but is it so wrong that he is happy for you to age gracefully? I don't think injecting a foreign object into your body is particularly healthy not to mention the wider social implications of more and more pressure being put on how women look.

intor · 05/06/2021 22:13

@SappysCurry

hi Op Does he not want you to look lovely ? It seems very extreme to say he’s going to leave you over it….
Perfectly lovely looking people start looking awful once they've had botox. Personally I think people look much, much better without it.

But OP, it's your body he doesn't get to decide.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 05/06/2021 22:15

@coronaway

His reaction was a bit extreme as a pp said but is it so wrong that he is happy for you to age gracefully? I don't think injecting a foreign object into your body is particularly healthy not to mention the wider social implications of more and more pressure being put on how women look.
Hear hear
kiddo5467 · 05/06/2021 22:16

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

You should do what you like with your body.

However, some peeps with Botox look like they’re wearing a Halloween mask (India Knight) and I guess that’s mostly the only Botox you ‘see’.

So, he probably just doesn’t want a terrifying mask lady for a wife and has no idea that it can look subtle.

Surely not a good enough reason to leave someone you supposedly love tho??!

Or is he just trying to control her?

mrwalkensir · 05/06/2021 22:18

How old are your children? If you have too much botox so can't express emotion, it might confuse them (and before people get angry, having had chemo so no eye brows, you underestimate how important visual cues are)

Viviennemary · 05/06/2021 22:18

Im often tempted to have botox. Then I look at some of those celebs. Horrific. So I won't. But certainly wouldnt let DH stop me.

MorriseysGladioli · 05/06/2021 22:24

I can see his point, to be honest.
A while ago there was a thread about a husband who had grown his greying, greasy hair and refused to have it cut.

I like these threads.

Angrymum22 · 05/06/2021 22:25

I suppose it depends on how old you are. If your under 35 I would agree with your DH.
I have just tried Botox for the first time, we provide facial aesthetics at work ( dentistry) and I would never have it done by anyone other than a facial plastic surgeon or dentist who have in-depth knowledge of how the facial nerves and muscles work.
I am frequently asked about it by patients so agreed to have it done so I could advise from both a clinical and personal point of view.
I haven’t told DH because I wanted to know if he would notice, he hasn’t which is good since he is very observant.
The clinician who did it is an orthodontist who has a very good eye for aesthetics and a fantastic knowledge of how the muscles in the face control the features.
I will probably continue with top ups but I will stick with the low dose we started with which is subtle and really freshens my face.
I am seeing more and more women who have facial Botox and fillers done by beauticians who end up with frozen features and course looking lips because the application is not done with the expert knowledge of fine anatomy. Too much in the midline of the forehead makes them look like Jack Nicholson. Some muscles need deep injection down to the bone but many require shallow application of Botox.

OooPourUsACupLove · 05/06/2021 22:26

I think DH would seriously rethink our relationship and possibly leave if I got botox. Not because he wants to control me but because he is very anti people being valued on appearances and he'd feel our core values had got very very out of whack. He wouldn't ever stop me but he'd lose a lot of respect for me.

thenightsky · 05/06/2021 22:29

@justanotherneighinparadise

My only criticism with Botox is it can make some women look rather hard faced. Sort of pissed off constantly.
That's my normal face. I'd hope botox would improve that. Grin
Donotgogentle · 05/06/2021 22:32

I didn’t tell DH the first couple of times I had it done. It was/is subtle and he didn’t notice.

He knows now and doesn’t really approve but my body, my choice etc etc. I don’t like everything he does or spends money on either but a committed relationship needs to give people space to do their own thing.

me4real · 05/06/2021 22:35

It's controlling. He can have an opinion on it but shouldn't try to forbid you, make an ultimatum, or be manipulative over it.

It's your body.

me4real · 05/06/2021 22:39

@thenightsky A couple of years ago there was a fashion for people getting surgery to 'correct' 'b*tch face.' Grin

percheron67 · 05/06/2021 22:46

Don't tell him you are having it. Your face.

BackforGood · 05/06/2021 22:50

What @OooPourUsACupLove said.

Someone who wants to have chemicals injected in to their face, because they think it will make them look better, would have gone a long way from a person that I could respect and share values with. It's not about 'control' it's about the very values that go deep.

blacksax · 05/06/2021 22:53

You do know what 'botox' is, don't you?

Botulism toxin. Doesn't sound quite so nice now, does it?

Discodancing · 05/06/2021 22:55

I've had it done for 15 years, as far as I know my husband has no idea 🤣🤣. It's never come up

seensome · 05/06/2021 22:55

Well if he doesn't like it, new face, new man!
I'd be tempted just to leave it and see if he notices.

Everybodyfednobodydead · 05/06/2021 22:57

I've had it for years. I love it. Definitely do not look frozen. I was extremely self conscious as I had deep frown lines from a very young age. My dh doesn't understand why because he thinks I look beautiful anyway but says he loves me being more confident in myself.
Really don't understand the comments about losing respect. I'd lose respect for someone close if they couldnt support the decisions I make that make me feel good about myself. I personally feel it's control. I'd feel as though my dh didn't want me to be happy in my skin and have more confidence. If you want it have it. If he really loves you then it wouldn't matter if your appearance changed

Sandra15 · 05/06/2021 22:58

Good for you. Don't tell him, see if he notices. Don't finish up looking like Amanda Holden though. She's like a waxwork.

MrsMaizel · 05/06/2021 23:00

@OooPourUsACupLove

I think DH would seriously rethink our relationship and possibly leave if I got botox. Not because he wants to control me but because he is very anti people being valued on appearances and he'd feel our core values had got very very out of whack. He wouldn't ever stop me but he'd lose a lot of respect for me.
So you don't cut your hair , dye your hair , do anything to your eyebrows etc ?
Bumzoo · 05/06/2021 23:00

Is there a time limit after having the covid vaccine before you can have It?

MrsMaizel · 05/06/2021 23:01

@blacksax

You do know what 'botox' is, don't you?

Botulism toxin. Doesn't sound quite so nice now, does it?

Do you really think we need you to tell us that ? 🙄🙄
Donotgogentle · 05/06/2021 23:03

You should see the chemicals in my hair dye.