Husband said he will divorce me if I get Botox

[0zzyfan]

....... and I got it on Thursday .....

I have wanted it for some time, and love it!
The effects haven’t fully started yet, but I mentioned a friend (who was with me) had it and he hit the roof!

Said point blank - if I fucked with my face he would leave me over it. No questions asked.

The only question I have is - should I pack his bags for him and tell him? Or just ignore him and continue making myself happy?!

I don't think he has covered himself in glory in telling you he would divorce you - that's emotional blackmail and a definite 'no' in my book.

But - I can see why he isn't keen on you having it. As others have said, the overt vanity of you needing Botox would worry me.

Particularly as it is a short term 'fix' that would need to be maintained. And with that there is the risk that you need more and more tweaks to make yourself happy.

And the biggest issue I would have is the long term effects. Just look at the recent Friends reunion. Those women have all had access to the very best for many years. Whilst the treatments they have had undoubtedly made them look the way they wanted to when they were in their 20s and 30s, the two who have clearly had some 'help' are now starting to look like waxworks of themselves and aren't ageing well at all.

The potential psychological damage to someone who thinks they need Botox when it all starts to go south and the Botox/fillers can no longer make it 'better' is huge.

I have a very good eye (I have to in my profession), so I'm hoping I can reach some women here who are using Botox or are thinking of getting it.

Botox and fillers, unless in teeny tiny amounts, never make a person look that much younger....ok they sort of do, sometimes, but it's more like young + weird/alien. It never looks natural. Most of the time it just looks strange.

The problem with Botox and fillers is that it's a bit like perfume. If you've been wearing the same perfume for a long time, your nose can get used to it and you end up putting more and more on. Everybody else can smell that from far away yet you can't smell much. People who inject themselves with these things often suffer the same thing - they just het more and more used to it over time and lose sense of what looks natural and so often make themselves look increasingly ridiculous as the years go by. Everybody thinks 'but that will never happen to me, I'll keep it on the subtle side' but so often it creeps in anyway.

There is a buzz that people get from the anticipation of the lead-up to the appointment, and the feeling they get a fee days after when the results become visible. They want a taste of that again and again, and feel more shame in how they used to look so they keep having more.

I just find it so sad that women are not allowed to age by society and think it's a terrible example to set girls and young women. I find it so odd that my own age group (Millennials) are getting this done when they're in their early 30s. Some even get it in their late teens or early twenties. And for what? To have a frozen face that is incapable of moving (like some of Lady Gaga's interviews where she can barely smile properly because her face is so unnaturally stiff)? To look like a mannequin?

I don't agree with your husband's approach OP, but fake tan + blonde hair pretty much always to cheap & tacky. I have no idea why anyone would think this combo looks good. Very few naturally blonde people have tanned skin. Just look at Scandinavians. There are exceptions but blonde hair is usually naturally paired with very pale skin.

I don't get botox at all.

What made you hate your face enough to want to do it?

Age is a natural process. Love yourself in all its stages.

fake tan + blonde hair pretty much always to cheap & tacky. In your opinion.

There! Fixed that for you.

I'd suggest your judgy, sneery attitude towards what another woman does with her body says a lot more about you than you realise. Perhaps work on that instead of telling a woman she's cheap and tacky?

@EarthSight

I have a very good eye (I have to in my profession), so I'm hoping I can reach some women here who are using Botox or are thinking of getting it.

Botox and fillers, unless in teeny tiny amounts, never make a person look that much younger....ok they sort of do, sometimes, but it's more like young + weird/alien. It never looks natural. Most of the time it just looks strange.

The problem with Botox and fillers is that it's a bit like perfume. If you've been wearing the same perfume for a long time, your nose can get used to it and you end up putting more and more on. Everybody else can smell that from far away yet you can't smell much. People who inject themselves with these things often suffer the same thing - they just het more and more used to it over time and lose sense of what looks natural and so often make themselves look increasingly ridiculous as the years go by. Everybody thinks 'but that will never happen to me, I'll keep it on the subtle side' but so often it creeps in anyway.

There is a buzz that people get from the anticipation of the lead-up to the appointment, and the feeling they get a fee days after when the results become visible. They want a taste of that again and again, and feel more shame in how they used to look so they keep having more.

I just find it so sad that women are not allowed to age by society and think it's a terrible example to set girls and young women. I find it so odd that my own age group (Millennials) are getting this done when they're in their early 30s. Some even get it in their late teens or early twenties. And for what? To have a frozen face that is incapable of moving (like some of Lady Gaga's interviews where she can barely smile properly because her face is so unnaturally stiff)? To look like a mannequin?

I don't agree with your husband's approach OP, but fake tan + blonde hair pretty much always to cheap & tacky. I have no idea why anyone would think this combo looks good. Very few naturally blonde people have tanned skin. Just look at Scandinavians. There are exceptions but blonde hair is usually naturally paired with very pale skin.

This is your opinion but why do you think you need to "reach out " to people who are having it or thinking about it ? It's a mystery 🙄

@DancesWithTortoises

I don't get botox at all.

What made you hate your face enough to want to do it?

Age is a natural process. Love yourself in all its stages.

Another one who has no idea 🙄

Instead of relying on silly emoticons, why not explain to the poster why you have taken issue with her opinion?

My DH said the same about tattoos. He wasn't being serious, though, he just disliked them. It's there any chance your DH was just expressing his distaste for Botox?

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Instead of relying on silly emoticons, why not explain to the poster why you have taken issue with her opinion?

😂😂😂😂🙄

That’s a shame.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

That’s a shame.

I have to use emoticons as my face is Botox frozen .....

So you can’t formulate a few sentences to explain your position and why you think the PP is incorrect?

@EarthSight

Thank you for contributing with your utterly judgemental and most pointless opinion

If my husband got it I wouldn't be happy either......I'm sure little bits of Botox getting rid of fine lines will make you look and feel great but from I've seen it's a slippery and addictive slope to Having it done more often and then fillers and other things and then yes the look is often very cheap and tacky and fake and quite honestly makes some people look ridiculous.....

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

So you can’t formulate a few sentences to explain your position and why you think the PP is incorrect?

The more you ask the less likely you are to get a response 😂

My god ... what a nasty bunch of opinionated snobby judgmental stuck up bunch we have here
If someone wants fake tan blond hair then good luck to her / him
I'm 54 and dye my hair pastel pink
I work with young people and every day someone will say they love my hair
They are usually under 18 -severely disadvantaged - been through enough shit to last them a lifetime - the kind you don't want your son/ daughter to bring home
Not once as any of them ever said .. oh that bit of Botox you have in one place every 9 months , combined with your pink hair and your 35 year old tattoo makes you less worthy and so I'm going to make you feel like shit by judging you for it
Just be yourself folks .. do what you want to do as long as you accept the consequences and the bigger picture
I'm regularly shocked at the snobbery here , this bid a classic example

I agree with @EarthSight

Yes, you can tell.

There's a woman at my gym who initially seemed friendly so I chatted with her.

After a while I got a creepy feeling from her, her face didn't seem to match what she was saying which I thought was a bit odd.

Then I realised she's messed with her (beautiful) face so it has an eerie stiff look when talking. It's subtle but very off putting so I avoid her as she unsettles me.

There are other women at the gym with much more obvious work on their faces. I just feel sorry for them.

It's your face so provided you are paying for it I don't see a problem. However, I have to say a lot of "refreshed" faces look a little weird in my view.

Interesting to see the difference between this thread where most posters seem to think that Botox is great, and the friends reunion thread whereby most posters thought that that Botox and fillers made people look awful.

But maybe a bunch of millionaire celebrities just don't get it done properly 🤷‍♀️

@happinessischocolate

Interesting to see the difference between this thread where most posters seem to think that Botox is great, and the friends reunion thread whereby most posters thought that that Botox and fillers made people look awful.

But maybe a bunch of millionaire celebrities just don't get it done properly 🤷‍♀️

Quite

@Yesyoucantell

I agree with *@EarthSight*

Yes, you can tell.

There's a woman at my gym who initially seemed friendly so I chatted with her.

After a while I got a creepy feeling from her, her face didn't seem to match what she was saying which I thought was a bit odd.

Then I realised she's messed with her (beautiful) face so it has an eerie stiff look when talking. It's subtle but very off putting so I avoid her as she unsettles me.

There are other women at the gym with much more obvious work on their faces. I just feel sorry for them.

Of course there are people like this but there are also many more people who get it and you won't even know .

@MrsMaizel
Sorry, I think you can always tell.

You can definitely always tell. People think others haven't noticed because it isn't socially acceptable to say, 'Urgh your face looks a bit weird, I feel sad for you'.

That said, you have the right to do whatever you want to your face, OP. Your husband presumably wanted to discourage you, which is fair enough, but should have phrased himself better.

People think others haven't noticed because it isn't socially acceptable to say, 'Urgh your face looks a bit weird, I feel sad for you'.

This is exactly why people can kid themselves no one knows.

We know. We're just too polite to tell you.

Just had a look at the Friends Reunion pics. Matt Le Blanc is looking fine!