Husband put a tracking device in babies push chair

[Tilpop]

So today I had a child free day for the first time in 11 months.
I went for a hair cut then out for lunch with my best friend.

DH took LO out for the day.

Got home and he had opened a Package. He said they were devices used to find keys, bags etc. Then proceeded to show me that they "beep" when the app on your phone is activated.

Turns out these are apple air tags.

I decided to take LO for a walk in the push chair as he was getting grouchy and needed a nap. I opened the top of the chair and inside was one of these devices.

I googled it and apparently they are also tracking devices.

WTF........ I'm gutted. I asked him about it when I got home and he said he was testing it to see if it worked. But never told me it was there to start with.

There are 8 of them sat in my kitchen.

He says they are for keys etc......and you need to be near them for them to show on the app.

I doubt this as I've googled it.

What do I do. I'm so upset. Does anyone know anything about this?

OR

get a completely new Router

It's not safe for the op to damage the cameras or mess with the router or try and save secretly. As soon as any of these things happen he will regard it as a challenge to his control and he's highly likely to be violent. The only ''safe' thing to do is go and seek refuge with a charity who understand how these men work. Don't take your phone and check everything you do take for trackers.

Doing stuff to the cameras will just cause agro. Op you really do need to leave, this isn't healthy for you or your baby.

Can you get the child benefit and your maternity paid into a separate personal account?

Yes you are correct...

Apologies OP my response was emotional..

I has hoped OP could block the cameras when he was working away, to let her leave.. but you're right.. its too risky

Sorry OP 🌸

He's probably tracking your online stuff too 😔

I'd be thinking that it was for protection for the baby, or at least for the expensive pushchair (but I'd find it really odd it wasn't discussed first) and the last thought I'd have was anything sinister about tracking me - unless there were other similarly suspicious events of behaviours like this?

He sounds paranoid bordering on obsessive!

Oh he's put cameras up inside the house too? We put cameras up recently but only outside. My husband and I both have various joint and savings accounts but also a solo account each, which we can't access - only because that's the way the bank works. We share the details about them if either are interested (which we're not!) but the camera thing is really weird and makes the pushchair tracker more sinister.

[quote Hallyup6]@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair House isn't that huge, just your standard 5 bed detached. He keeps his computer on constantly and is always sat in front of it and the cameras will always be showing on one of his 3 monitors. It's lazy parenting from him, I guess. Definitely one of my bugbears.
@OnlyFoolsnMothers Of course we do that, but we usually see where each other is if the other person is cooking a meal for when one of us gets home. He can sometimes work over an hour's drive away and it's helpful to see if there's any problems on the motorway as I can't contact him while he's driving.
@everythingbackbutyou I'm sorry you experienced that but I know my husband well enough to know he's not malicious. Autistic, I believe, and obsessed with technology, but he would never admit that.[/quote]
Standard 5 bedroom detached? Oh you are just trolling, you need cameras to find your kids in a house? Ffs

So let me get this right. He has cameras both in and outside the home, he’s notified when you leave the home, then he calls you. He’s notified when you use the joint account and calls you asking what you had spent when you went grocery shopping....WTF. This is abusive. This is coercive control, which is illegal.

There was a poster, whose partner did this. Cameras in the house, would tack her on the phone. She left with the help of her family.

You need to contact WA. You need to tell someone in RL.

You have normalised his behaviour. This is not normal.

Pretty sure OP has posted about this before - well having cameras everywhere anyway. The advice then was overwhelmingly to leave him 🤷‍♀️

You need to get out of this 'marriage'.

He probably has an ow too.
Men like this always do.

@Tilpop

I have cameras front, back, side, garden. Door cameras, living room and kitchen And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

This is not normal OP. You are in a controlling relationship.

As previous posters have said it's not always that easy to just pack a bag and go especially if you've been isolated from friends and family. Having said that opening up and reaching out was the best thing I ever did and reaffirmed that all the crazy was crazy and not me.
Wishing you strength op.

Follow @mathsanxiety advice and Google how to disable tracker on your phone. He is bound to have put one there if he is that controling. When you do shopping ask for up to £50 cashback each time he is not with you. Start with £10 then after a couple of weeks up it to £20 ect. It won't show up on bank statement. Just show up as Tesco so assumption it was shopping. Hoard up this money in case you need it. Don't tell him you have it. Hide it safely where you can access it easily. Buy a cheap phone he does not know about. Keep it on silent when he is around. Take it when you go out with baby.

Out of interest what kind of phone do you have, OP?

If you have an iPhone then these air tags can't track you anyway as they will notify you when there is one near you that is separated from your husband's phone. This is an anti-stalking feature.

Unfortunately it doesn't work with android quite yet but they are working on it.

If you're an android user it might be worth switching to an iPhone so that you can also keep track of these tags.

Sorry you're having to deal with this - your husband does sound a little unhinged to me tbh with all these cameras. Are you sure you are OK in this relationship with him?

@andivfmakes3 I think that was another poster, she left him and was heavily pregnant at the time and they had one DC already. Very similar situation though with the cameras and stuff. She then found out he had been living under a false identity for years! I think she went to stay with her sister, who was also on here. I think the sisters name on here was Black Cat or something like that.

This is no way to live OP. You have no privacy whatsoever. Do you have family and friends you can confide him or has he also alienated you from them?

Never trust someone who wants to spy on you and check up on your every movement. You don’t become paranoid and possessive by having lived a normal and innocent life yourself. He’s being deeply unpleasant and controlling.

I've just looked at some of your older threads. There is no doubt in my mind that this man is completely and utterly deranged and controlling you. Visit your mum and use her phone to call Women's Aid. Don't go back home, they will help you with everything.

Hopefully this will be the catalyst to make plans to leave. This is who he is and now he’s escalating his control. His behaviour has nothing to do with you, this is all about him and his inadequacies.

Leaving will not be easy but it’s the only alternative to living like this because he isn’t going to change.

You can read up on how to detect tags that are not registered to you but that is an exhausting temporary solution. He has eight of these things, which I assume he’s not attaching to his own stuff.

Op you have got somewhere to go. Women’s aid would provide you with help and support and get you out of there. They’ll then help you get your independence back.
It’s scary op but let’s face it if things are this bad you’ll end up doing that or risking going to the morgue instead.
Or you’ll lose your child because you’re refusing to protect him from this.

please get out of there.

Can you stay with family and call women’s aid for some support? This is extremely controlling and concerning behaviour from your husband, we’re all worried for you

He’ll definitely be tracking your online activity if he’s already gone to the effort of knowing where you are every minute.