Husband put a tracking device in babies push chair

[Tilpop]

So today I had a child free day for the first time in 11 months.
I went for a hair cut then out for lunch with my best friend.

DH took LO out for the day.

Got home and he had opened a Package. He said they were devices used to find keys, bags etc. Then proceeded to show me that they "beep" when the app on your phone is activated.

Turns out these are apple air tags.

I decided to take LO for a walk in the push chair as he was getting grouchy and needed a nap. I opened the top of the chair and inside was one of these devices.

I googled it and apparently they are also tracking devices.

WTF........ I'm gutted. I asked him about it when I got home and he said he was testing it to see if it worked. But never told me it was there to start with.

There are 8 of them sat in my kitchen.

He says they are for keys etc......and you need to be near them for them to show on the app.

I doubt this as I've googled it.

What do I do. I'm so upset. Does anyone know anything about this?

Op I've had a look back at older threads too. Are you sure your mum wouldn't house / support you until you can get back on your feet?

I think he and MIL have turned you against your mum, when actually she is likely to be the person who will have your back.
Womans Aid will support you even if your mum won't. Don't stay where you are. His controlling is horrendous and it will only get worse.

I’d also wonder if he’s having an affair when he’s working away.
He doesn’t trust you as he doesn’t trust himself.
You do need to leave him.
He’s abusive to you.
Contact women’s aid if you are in UK.💐

Have you phoned Women's Aid yet?

@SoapboxFox, Erm, the Women’s Aid links were posted less than an hour before you asked that! OP was probably with her DH, or at least still processing the advice she’s been given, so give her a chance! I know people get excited about the next installment of the online drama, but honestly, this is someone's real life here not TV 😳

He sounds either very insecure or controlling, you know him, which do you think?

This level of surveillance would make anyone feel uncomfortable. You need to tell him how you feel and work out a compromise ASAP. This is no way for anyone to have to live.

Just look at your previous posts.

This is nowhere normal. Please leave. This will get worse if you don't.

It's normal for people to have their own bank accounts in a relationship- only on MN do you surrender your independence to money and every penny is now 'family money' when you get married- in real life people have a joint account and their own bank accounts too!

I don't see why you're bothered about your DH trying this device out on the pushchair- sounds innocent and typical man playing with the latest technology to me.

I don't see why you're bothered about your DH trying this device out on the pushchair- sounds innocent and typical man playing with the latest technology to me

I just can't understand posts like this. You seem to have read enough of the post to know that he has his own account, but she has a joint monitored account. He monitors her money. She does not monitor his in his private account. You seem to have read enough to know that she is continually recorded in her own home by cameras, that he knows when she leaves the house and phones to ask her where she is going. Yet you still think the device in the pram is innocent?

OP is being controlled by a man who thinks he owns her. And you are being his tool in trying to convince OP that his behaviour is normal and she is over reacting.

OP you are normal. Your concerns are right. Your partner is controlling and abusive. It will only get worse, never better. There are organisations that will help you. Ones that will help you escape, ones that will help you set up in new life.

This level of surveillance would make anyone feel uncomfortable. You need to tell him how you feel and work out a compromise ASAP. This is no way for anyone to have to live

I wouldn't do this. You will never get though to him. He thinks he owns you. And he won't give up control because it makes you feel bad.

Tilpop, I've seen some of your previous posts and seen that you were looking to return to work only two days a week and work from home. This will increase your husband's control of you. You really need to be thinking about increasing your independence. You and your child have decades of misery ahead of you if you stay.

Please leave. His behaviour is deeply disturbing and as many others have said it appears to be escalating. The number one priority is your and your little one's safety. Please contact any organisations or charities that might be able to help you. I am sure previous posters have recommended some good ones. Get back in contact with friends and family you may have drifted away from. I am sure they are worried about you.

@MrsFin

Were you going anywhere you didn't what DH to know about? If not, I can't see the issue.

Nonsense.

Why should he know her every move?

@smallspeckbigcloud You are being overdrmatic- you don't know any more about OPs relationship than I do. Telling a woman to leave her husband and that he is abusive and that things will will get worse...really!

Monitoring your bank account is normal- assuming the OP agreed to the account and you both can monitor it can't you?
Having your own bank account is normal.
Having a security cameras to monitor callers/intruders is normal.

As for the DH asking where she's going- also normal if he has an alert on the phone every time the camera detects someone at the door. Could just be general chit chat.

But OP- you need to ask yourself-:

Why don't you have have your own bank account?
Why don't you get the camera alerts on your phone- you could do!?

@smallspeckbigcloud I believe one of her previous posts was about whether to go back to work and her husband suggesting for her to take another year out. I bet he is

Freekstar clearly doesn't work with domestic abuse in any way

Having cameras in a house is not normal, maybe security ones outdoors but not indoors @FreekStar. Are you the DH?

This is really unhinged behaviour.

Cameras inside the house is bizarre anyway.

If your husband is filming you at home and tracking your outside the home it’s really likely he’s reading this.

I thought this too.

@FreekStar the fact she's started this thread should tell you these aren't decisions they came to together

Freekstar clearly doesn't work with domestic abuse in any way

and has a really abnormal idea of normal ...

@frekstar
Not at all. We have cameras all over the house. And he monitors our bank account (but has his own) that's I have no access to to. I just feel like he has done something sneaky. It wasn't on view he had hidden it

Look at this post from OP. Does that in anyway sound like OP is saying, 'yeah I'm totally cool with H monitoring me and my finances but keeping his private'

Its deeply disturbing to assert control over your wife. Observing her every move in the house, observing her spending, calling her to question her every time she goes out.

Its hard to believe you are a genuine poster if you don't get this.

Having your own bank account is normal
Not for OP its not. There is a reason why her H has his own account but she only has a shared account. Its not an accident he has arranged it like this.

As for the DH asking where she's going- also normal if he has an alert on the phone every time the camera detects someone at the door No its not. Its deeply abnormal to phone your partner to ask them where they are going when they leave the house. Its designed to make her know she is observed and to limit her movements. If you have ever been in a relationship where you are questioned every time to spend something or everytime you go somewhere you would understand the pernicious impact of this.

do you have an iphone and share your location on ‘find my’? if so he can already see where you are anytime.

I have tags in my backpack and my kids keys just in case they lose them. They aren’t a ‘realtime’ tracker - they update every 15-30 minutes only if an iphone goes past. They’re more for if you lose your keys in a park and it uses random passers-by to update the location so you can find them again.

Also if you put an airtag registered to him anywhere near you, it’ll beep to warn you that an ‘unknown’ tag is nearby. At that point you can disable it or if its known to you, choose to ignore it. So there are anti-tracking privacy measures in place

@Tilpop

I have cameras front, back, side, garden. Door cameras, living room and kitchen And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

This alone would have me serving notice our relationship was coming to an end.

He's not your boss. He's not your owner.

I couldn't live like that. He's controlling and financially abusive ... it will get worse.

@FreekStar nit a single thing about this is normal!!!
Why does anyone need cameras inside their house and why does he need to know her every move.

From her previous posts it's obvious he was cheating, unaffectionate and controlling.

It sounds like worst relationship I've read about on MN which is saying something! And I've not read a single positive about it in all the posts

So nobody here has their own bank account then? ok

Ring seem to sell an awful lot of camera security systems for something which is abnormal.