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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband put a tracking device in babies push chair

324 replies

Tilpop · 05/06/2021 20:16

So today I had a child free day for the first time in 11 months.
I went for a hair cut then out for lunch with my best friend.

DH took LO out for the day.

Got home and he had opened a Package. He said they were devices used to find keys, bags etc. Then proceeded to show me that they "beep" when the app on your phone is activated.

Turns out these are apple air tags.

I decided to take LO for a walk in the push chair as he was getting grouchy and needed a nap. I opened the top of the chair and inside was one of these devices.

I googled it and apparently they are also tracking devices.

WTF........ I'm gutted. I asked him about it when I got home and he said he was testing it to see if it worked. But never told me it was there to start with.

There are 8 of them sat in my kitchen.

He says they are for keys etc......and you need to be near them for them to show on the app.

I doubt this as I've googled it.

What do I do. I'm so upset. Does anyone know anything about this?

OP posts:
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 05/06/2021 21:56

@MrsFin

Were you going anywhere you didn't what DH to know about? If not, I can't see the issue.
You don't have to be up to anything to not want your whereabouts to be tracked
PiccalilliChilli · 05/06/2021 21:57

Unless your house is a squillion quid in value I don't know why you would have lots of cameras inside. May one over front door, back door and garage, maybe one looking over the garden but that's it.

It sounds like he's a controlling POS. Eight trackers! 8! And, asking where you have been each day? Red flags, tons of them!

Sorry if I misunderstood but do you have a joint account you have access to, then your husband has his own account? Before Baby was born, did you work or do you work currently?

Original poster
Tilpop · 05/06/2021 21:59

I have cameras front, back, side, garden.
Door cameras, living room and kitchen
And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

OP posts:
TotorosCatBus · 05/06/2021 21:59

@Hallyup6 How big is your house that you can't locate your child quickly? If you're royalty with a garden that spans acres then you might need security but I'm assuming that you're not the Duchess of Cambridge or similar

TotorosCatBus · 05/06/2021 22:01

@Tilpop

I have cameras front, back, side, garden. Door cameras, living room and kitchen And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

Terrifying. It sounds like you're in a jail. I bet the PM isn't even tracked that heavily.
Original poster
Tilpop · 05/06/2021 22:01

@PiccalilliChilli
We have a joint account which I use etc. He has his own. So every time I use the bank card he can see.

I'm still on maternity at the min

OP posts:
quizqueen · 05/06/2021 22:01

The one that you found in the pushchair I would have attached to somewhere else- without mentioning it - not sure where, a friend's car maybe? - but somewhere mobile, which would have given him something to think about!!!

Alternista · 05/06/2021 22:01

Tilpop did you read the excellent advice from mathanxiety up above? Do you feel able to do any of that?

kiddo5467 · 05/06/2021 22:02

Can't believe a single person thinks this is normal.

Even without any of the history it's not normal. He shouldn't have "tested"' it without your knowledge. He could've offered you one of you thought it may have been helpful.

However with all the indoor cameras, monitoring your bank accounts etc it's extremely concerning.

You say you don't have anyone to go to IRL. I'd put money on the fact that he's been working on isolating you from all your friends and family for years.

As pp has said, maybe try womensaid?

FourFlapjacksPlease · 05/06/2021 22:03

Oh love, this is awful. You need to leave. This is no way to live and is clearly escalating. You deserve better than this, and so does your child.

Kissthepastrychef · 05/06/2021 22:03

Jesus Christ on a bike op, this isn't right. You know it's not right.
Next time he's out go down the police station and ask for help

kiddo5467 · 05/06/2021 22:04

Oh and another suggestion. Can you check if he's tracking your phone?

I'm not very tach savvy at all but turn off "find my iPhone" (or the equivalent) and can you check if there are any strange apps installed.

I'm sure there'll be someone on here to advise better on what to check for but I'd do that as a first step so if you do go anywhere he can't follow you

ZooKeeper19 · 05/06/2021 22:04

Now I thought this was in the realms of "normal" paranoid (if there is such a thing) or a massive technology lover (and I have met a few). But this, this is red flag for sure:

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc. Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc. -> this right here is the reason to pack up your PJs, toothbrush, diplomas, passports for you and baby and get the hell out now.

You really need help, please do look at the links that the other wise ladies posted and go. Save yourself, this is not OK and you are not safe.

Aknifewith16blades · 05/06/2021 22:04

Call Women's Aid; like others have suggested you can go to a Pharmacy and call from their consultation room. This isn't normal, it isn't okay and you should not be made prisoner in your own home.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/06/2021 22:04

You are in a cage of his own paranoid making. This is abusive behaviour from him as well as deliberate in intent. He is actively monitoring your every move.

You need to plan your exit with due care and attention and I would urge you to reach out to Womens Aid.

HollowTalk · 05/06/2021 22:06

I think you should talk to women's aid, OP. You can email them if you need to.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/06/2021 22:07

This article is also concerning:-

www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-57351554

Hallyup6 · 05/06/2021 22:07

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair House isn't that huge, just your standard 5 bed detached. He keeps his computer on constantly and is always sat in front of it and the cameras will always be showing on one of his 3 monitors. It's lazy parenting from him, I guess. Definitely one of my bugbears.
@OnlyFoolsnMothers Of course we do that, but we usually see where each other is if the other person is cooking a meal for when one of us gets home. He can sometimes work over an hour's drive away and it's helpful to see if there's any problems on the motorway as I can't contact him while he's driving.
@everythingbackbutyou I'm sorry you experienced that but I know my husband well enough to know he's not malicious. Autistic, I believe, and obsessed with technology, but he would never admit that.

sirfredfredgeorge · 05/06/2021 22:09

Apple is working on it

If they had fucking clue they would've "worked on it" before releasing.

kiddo5467 · 05/06/2021 22:09

@Aknifewith16blades

Call Women's Aid; like others have suggested you can go to a Pharmacy and call from their consultation room. This isn't normal, it isn't okay and you should not be made prisoner in your own home.
This is a great idea. Maybe say you think you have thrush or mastitis or something? Something he won't know about and you can get in the consultation room??

If you email them or phone he might be able to tell from your phone

What about the friend you met for lunch today, could you tell her?

Theunamedcat · 05/06/2021 22:10

Check your phone your bag etc for more he has been found out this time next time he will be more careful

Do the cameras run off the mains electric? Is the fuse box covered by cameras?

Boysnme · 05/06/2021 22:10

OP we have these. We have them on keychains and keep them in the kids bags, on the dogs harness, places like that. Kids know we have them in the bags and they have been good for tracking them coming home from school as we’ve told them they can go to the park if they want before coming home ( they are also not allowed phones at school to track those).

They are however not as good as you would think as you need to be around people with an Apple phone and the tracking can be off (my son was in the middle of a river one day when he was actually on a bus on the way home from a school trip).

However, that aside, they are tracking devices and when we were trying ours out all of us knew where they were and that we were doing it. There was no secrecy.

I’d be seriously annoyed if my DH had put one on me without telling me. Especially given what you have said about having cameras in the house, we also have one of these but it’s used for watching the dog when we are out.

I remember your previous thread. Please please try and get out. Although I know that’s easy for a stranger online to say.

notacooldad · 05/06/2021 22:11

He asks everyday where I've been etc
Surely the answe to that is "you know Exactly where I've been!!

Were you going anywhere you didn't what DH to know about? If not, I can't see the issue
Serious question are you a bit dim?
You cant see the issue?
Christ on a bike!

Beautiful3 · 05/06/2021 22:14

He is being very controlling. He wants to know where you are. Cctv is not normal inside the house. Everytime you leave the home, the camera sends him a notification and he rings you to ask where you're going??! Thats awful. You have to talk to someone, try asking your mum what she thinks.

Original poster
Tilpop · 05/06/2021 22:15

@quizqueen
I wish I had done this Angry

OP posts: