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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband put a tracking device in babies push chair

324 replies

Tilpop · 05/06/2021 20:16

So today I had a child free day for the first time in 11 months.
I went for a hair cut then out for lunch with my best friend.

DH took LO out for the day.

Got home and he had opened a Package. He said they were devices used to find keys, bags etc. Then proceeded to show me that they "beep" when the app on your phone is activated.

Turns out these are apple air tags.

I decided to take LO for a walk in the push chair as he was getting grouchy and needed a nap. I opened the top of the chair and inside was one of these devices.

I googled it and apparently they are also tracking devices.

WTF........ I'm gutted. I asked him about it when I got home and he said he was testing it to see if it worked. But never told me it was there to start with.

There are 8 of them sat in my kitchen.

He says they are for keys etc......and you need to be near them for them to show on the app.

I doubt this as I've googled it.

What do I do. I'm so upset. Does anyone know anything about this?

OP posts:
WhentheDealGoesDown1 · 05/06/2021 22:15

8 of them sounds a bit excessive, I would wonder where he hides the others, I have 1 for my keys, I can't imagine needing 8, they are £99 for 4.

mathanxiety · 05/06/2021 22:17

You can get cash back using the bank card.

He would only see the total amount you spent on any supermarket run, not an itemised list. You could take out a tenner every time, and hide it.

Tell me he doesn't ask for the receipts??

YYY to the pharmacy consultation room. Ask for ANI (assistance needed immediately) if you see a sin posted at your local pharmacy that shows this is available.

www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help
All sorts of info here.

uksaysnomore.org/safespaces/
Safe spaces to contact agencies that could help you if ANI not available.

You need to act fast as he has most likely access to all your online activity.

Do not hesitate to call the police if he ever makes a threat.

You can talk to them anyway as what he is doing is completely illegal.

mathanxiety · 05/06/2021 22:18

@Tilpop
Do you have a friend from work you can confide in?

notacooldad · 05/06/2021 22:19

Tell me he doesn't ask for the receipts??
He will now if he is reading this thread!

Dullardmullard · 05/06/2021 22:19

Do you have the find my iPhone on does he know it’s on switch it off.

I’m scared for you that he had kegloggers on all computers to track you also along side the other devices.

Log out of here every time

I’d be going to the police and asking for help.

Plus why the fuck does he need 8 of them.

Check your bag and coat and buggy when leaving the house in case he slips one in.

Plus woman’s aid do have places for you to go and live without him tracking you.

@Hallyup6 your are being deluded in that it’s all normal it bloody isn’t having cameras inside the house.

mathanxiety · 05/06/2021 22:20

Yes, and if is becomes apparent that he is reading the thread, she will have to take action.

PicsInRed · 05/06/2021 22:23

@WhentheDealGoesDown1

8 of them sounds a bit excessive, I would wonder where he hides the others, I have 1 for my keys, I can't imagine needing 8, they are £99 for 4.
Car, suitcases, handbag, baby bag, large furniture or appliances which may be moved whilst he's away or out, inside the casing of a laptop or computer etc etc.
Dwrcegin · 05/06/2021 22:24

@Tilpop

I have cameras front, back, side, garden. Door cameras, living room and kitchen And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

My word!
thepinkstuff · 05/06/2021 22:24

@Tilpop

Not at all. We have cameras all over the house. And he monitors our bank account (but has his own) that's I have no access to to.

I just feel like he has done something sneaky. It wasn't on view he had hidden it.

Why have you got cameras all over your house?

Does he watch you on his phone app??

Aquamarine1029 · 05/06/2021 22:24

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc. Even if just to the shop for food/nappies etc.

Jesus Christ, op. Your husband is a psycho, and this is not in ANY way normal. You live in a virtual prison.

PicsInRed · 05/06/2021 22:25

I would also feel about any coats to check one hasn't been pushed into a hole into the lining.

What an age we live in. OP. Flowers

PurpleMustang · 05/06/2021 22:25

If he has bought them for 'innocent' reasons then he will happily tell you where they are and why? Although cameras in the house is slightly odd. And definitely not ok is ringing you to find out where you are going as soon as you leave the house.

RosieCockle · 05/06/2021 22:25

Ugh. I was going to say, I think the Apple tags are only useful if you're in range of your phone. So not a proper "tracker". But having heard the camera thing... get out. ASAP.

Thighdentitycrisis · 05/06/2021 22:26

Next time he calls wanting to know where you are, because he knows you have left the house, tell him you are at the police station for all the reasons @PicsInRed said

BumbleFlump · 05/06/2021 22:28

Someone I knew went through similar, and her (now ex) husband put trackers and listening devices on her phone, she had a sleeve that blocked the tracking/listening and then bought another phone that he didn’t know about to actually use. She had lots of advice and support from the police

PiccalilliChilli · 05/06/2021 22:29

[quote Tilpop]@PiccalilliChilli
We have a joint account which I use etc. He has his own. So every time I use the bank card he can see.

I'm still on maternity at the min [/quote]
Thanks @Tilpop.

I'm with pp...the surveillance is too much.

I have spoken to WA before for advice. They are brilliant. They don't judge and leave it up to you what decisions to make, but can put you in touch with organisations who can help. You can online chat or use the phone. www.womensaid.org.uk There is also the Refuge National Domestic Violence Helpline who can answer your call 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247 refuge.org.uk Both charities have lots of info on emotional abuse, coercive control, and financial abuse. The hardest part is picking up the phone to call, but you've got this OP.

aloris · 05/06/2021 22:29

@MrsFin

Were you going anywhere you didn't what DH to know about? If not, I can't see the issue.
Well she might want to go to the police and tell them that her husband uses electronic devices to stalk and control her movements. This isn't a situation like, "Well if you aren't doing anything illegal then why do you care if the government is watching you?" Husbands are not little mini-governments that have sole authority to define what behavior constitutes right and wrong for themselves and their wife.
WhentheDealGoesDown1 · 05/06/2021 22:30

I think that Tiles can track you as well as they are similar so he may have done it with one of them, they have been around for ages

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/06/2021 22:30

"@Hallyup6 your are being deluded in that it’s all normal it bloody isn’t having cameras inside the house".

Indeed. Does he put himself under so much surveillance?. Its YOU who he is monitoring with those three monitors of his and you are also living in a cage of his own paranoid making. Why is he playing at being a security guard in your home?.

Kissthepastrychef · 05/06/2021 22:30

The OP is in an extremely dangerous situation imho. It's not clear if her husband was caught out and had to make a cover story. Potentially this has put her at increased risk. I'm pretty sure a man monitoring her every movement via camera sensor notification will be checking her phone and every device. The OP has now reached outside the family unit and is getting information and opinions that won't be to his liking. There is every chance that this will lead to an escalation in behaviour to get her back in line. She needs sensible advice to cut herself free not suggestions as how to get one over on him. Putting the monitor on someone else's pushchair is unlikely to give him food for thought - it will just as likely end up in making her situation worse.
Op please seek professional help tomorrow. Go to a police station with your baby, don't call in on 101 as you may have to wait some time to be seen (I work in the police control room). Go to the station, use the yellow phone and tell them you are trying to flee an abusive partner that is tracking your movements. They will find an officer to help you

sirfredfredgeorge · 05/06/2021 22:32

I think the Apple tags are only useful if you're in range of your phone

No they are tracked by (almost) every iPhone in existence, so it's in range of anyones iPhone.

AngusThermopyle · 05/06/2021 22:32

@Tilpop

I have cameras front, back, side, garden. Door cameras, living room and kitchen And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

Op, please wise up to the fact (and be assured from anyone here), that this is not in any way normal or acceptable. Please at least speak or confide in a friend or relative and talk to them.
RealhousewifeofStoke · 05/06/2021 22:32

@Hallyup6

I don't necessarily see this as weird. We have cameras all over the house, inside and outside. My husband is security conscious and we can locate the kids in a second or two, if necessary. I have access to a bank account that he doesn't. We track each others location on our phones, usually so we know what time the other will be back home. It's not weird, and we trust each other. Why does everyone on Mumsnet think everything is sinister when it comes to men?
Your poor kids. At what age will they be allowed privacy?
Porkchops22 · 05/06/2021 22:33

@MrsFin What in the actual fuck are you talking about?

lightand · 05/06/2021 22:33

What job does he do, op?