Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Not spoken to mr shack anymore since this morning… i sent a long message in reply to his long message of last night.. couple of quick messages before i said i was off out for the day and wished him a good day and he said you too have a great one….
I want him to send a ‘hello’ one and reopen the convo as he seems cool so far and I’m actually interested in this one but i want him to message me if he’s interested in me!!

@Shayelle2009

Not spoken to mr shack anymore since this morning… i sent a long message in reply to his long message of last night.. couple of quick messages before i said i was off out for the day and wished him a good day and he said you too have a great one…. I want him to send a ‘hello’ one and reopen the convo as he seems cool so far and I’m actually interested in this one but i want him to message me if he’s interested in me!!

Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 that he messages, @Shayelle ❤️

Thanks @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards 😘😘
Hope you get a match soon. It takes me ages to find anyone too x

@Shayelle2009

Thanks *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* 😘😘 Hope you get a match soon. It takes me ages to find anyone too x

@Shayelle2009 thank you 😘😘

in my experience of the nice unjaded ones is that they are brand new to OLD and probably freaked out about how full on, fast and intense it can be. Its funny I was thinking as I went for my long drive today about a few of us OLD old-timers (no offense to anyone) how we have all our knowledge and experience of it and of how people behave on it and how we need to manage and react to those behaviours… and how if you're new to it how daunting it all probably is….

Hence why we are all a little jaded, and they are not, yet 😂😂😕

It just seems a bit clinical, like he isn't offering much and setting you up to basically host all the time, and if you were very keen and the chemistry was fizzling I don't think there'd be any hesitation at all!

Well, he said he didn't know what "drink wine with me" means which is odd as he said it twice. (He's a bit.......not that bright)

Anyway, we're having a drink tonight, where he lives, so I'll be driving. He said he'd come near to me next time, which seems right. I know he's angling for me to go back to his, so we'll see. I can do that without sex!

In other news, had a lovely day with a friend, laid out the MrWG stuff (she knows him) she said what the hell, obviously the two of you are dating, why are you even seeing other guys, he's the only one who floats your boat, men don't come over and cook for women they're not interested in. Her view is that I need to have The Talk with him. Well, since I told him he needs to put his big big pants on and talk to me face to face, I suspect that's where that will go. Thursday......

@Shayelle2009 that's why I don't think I'm cut out for OLD. Dating shouldn't be stressful, it should be fun, it shouldn't be about dick pics and if you arrange to meet someone you don't disappear and then ghost them. But then I don't get this no strings sex, turn up at someones house that you've never met before, that men seem to expect nowadays either. At least in my day you picked a guy up in a pub you knew what they looked like and didn't just have a photo to go by.

Good luck with MrWg @VanGoghsDog if he’s the one you really like then I hope things move in the right direction this week with him!

Ahh Mr Shack’s messaged! When i sent him the big long reply first thing i added a gif at the end.. and he only saw the gif!! Hence a short message back and not a lot since, he said hes only just realised i sent him a long message! And hes replied ☺️ Yaaaay I’ve not been ditched 👍👍
2 days since we matched, this is almost a LTR for me 😇😿

I know @Isitreallyme77 all the fricking creeps and degenerates out there that no one would usually look twice at think they're all in there now, as we’re all in the same place. Urgh 😣
I actually hate my pictures being online for all the creeps out there to look at 😣

@Shayelle2009 oh I don't like my photos being online either just the thought of people judging me😕. I'm very cagey about where I work too and don't give my surname out as you can Google me and I appear on my work website with my photo, phone number and work email, only Computer Geek and Mr Cricket know my surname and where I work.

Yes good luck with MrWG @VanGoghsDog

Definitely a good idea to clarify where you stand - it kind of feels vulnerable but I think being clear what you want puts you in a stronger position overall?

I was naughty and quickly peeked at tinder and bumble and hinge

plenty of creeps and degenerates like you said that was the perfect description @Shayelle2009

Had a quick phone chat with a guy from Hinge which was actually fairly pleasant - he’s 35, starting a good job and buying a house this year and we established he wants kids and that’s my “no way Jose bottom line” so no go for dating

But we have stuff in common socially and live close so are meeting for coffee tomorrow anyway

Is there anything I should know as a Hinge virgin?

The guys seems more (slightly geeky) decent types and less initial “creeps and degenerates” than tinder and bumble. So I’m happy so far.

But only been there shortly so not sure if I’ve got Rose tinted glasses on

I'd be interested to know about Hinge too. ❤️

Good luck with Mr WG, @VanGogh. 😘😘

@Shayelle2009

Good luck with MrWg *@VanGoghsDog* if he’s the one you really like then I hope things move in the right direction this week with him!

Ahh Mr Shack’s messaged! When i sent him the big long reply first thing i added a gif at the end.. and he only saw the gif!! Hence a short message back and not a lot since, he said hes only just realised i sent him a long message! And hes replied ☺️ Yaaaay I’ve not been ditched 👍👍
2 days since we matched, this is almost a LTR for me 😇😿

So glad he's messaged, @Shayelle ❤️😘😘

That’s a real shame @SpringlikeBunk but I’m like you and the first thing I try and suss out is the kids situation - do they want them. As nice as they are if they do, I just don’t bother talking anymore because I know 100% I don’t, so there is no point talking any further. Can’t be bothered wasting my time.
Why don’t you check Hinge out @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards it’s a friendly kind of app, much more friendly than tinder.

Mr Shack ticks the kids box for me - he’s already a dad and doesn't want any more 👍👍
He seems really nice, genuine and close to his family which is an important one for me too.
So far so good! 3 days still chatting - he’s just offered me his number ☺️ So ill whatsapp him.

I think how successful you are with Hinge depends on your location and demographic. I was on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge at the same time. Tinder had most potential in tens of numbers, Bumble I had better chats. Hinge had less I’d consider in my age range (40-50). I’m fairly rural but my distance included Edinburgh. Of course there were the same faces on all three apps too.
I deleted my profile and the apps a month or so ago. Whilst I’ve had a few dates with actually fairly decent guys recently, I just cannot be bothered as I rarely feel any attraction. Like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Yeh I’m sure the creeps will
get through occasionally but Hinge even seems to have a “report” function for people who it says won’t fit in with the ethos of the site - which it says is those looking for long term relationships only. I haven’t seen many weird/sex crazed profiles yet.

One guy who seemed to be getting a reference to “NSA” in his job description.

Will see how it looks after a few weeks

Good luck @SpringlikeBunk you can also ‘remove’ anyone on there so they don't ever pop up again. That’s nice you're meeting the guy for a coffee could just be a good new contact perhaps ☺️☕️

My phone took a swim in the sea, so I've been unconnected for a few days...

Note to self never ask a man if they won their cricket match. 😂 I've just got 5 (yes 5!) messages from Mr Cricket about his match yesterday.

Oh and he made a big faux pas, he sent me a screenshot of his league but one of the tabs he has open is Tinder🤦‍♀️! Come on if you're going to spin a lie about not having time and being in the right space for anything make sure you don't slip up later on😂😂🤦‍♀️. It did make me chuckle this morning.

Good morning ladies , I have been following the thread for hints and tips and you all seem to have a lot of wisdom . I need some of that wisdom please .

I recently had a first date with a nan I will call Mrgasengineer . The conversation was great . We talked non stop and laughed for over two hours but I am not sure if I should see him again even though there was spark .

We spoke about what we were looking for and I said ideally I am looking for a long term relationship/marriage type of thing and he said he wasn't looking for a relationship and is not looking to get married but if it happens it happens. Also unto the subject of kids , he doesn't want kids of his own but I have a child and he knows this . He is happy to interact with them as long as they are not there full time chutney I would like at least one more child .

When we got out to go home , we got in my car and he type his address into my sat nav to show me we live live a few miles away from each other . During the date , he was saying this like " I would like to take you to such and such places , i can't believe you have never been . I treat you to such and such food , can't believe you have never tried it " , you get the picture. So generally making future plans . We have a lot in common.

We had a hug and a peck on the lips when leaving " initiated" by him. I like him but I feel like it's not going to go anywhere.

Please what are your thoughts

Good morning everyone, I have been following the thread for hints and tips and you all seem to have a lot of wisdom . I need some of that wisdom please .

I recently had a first date with a nan I will call Mrgasengineer . The conversation was great . We talked non stop and laughed for over two hours but I am not sure if I should see him again even though there was spark .

We spoke about what we were looking for and I said ideally I am looking for a long term relationship/marriage type of thing and he said he wasn't looking for a relationship and is not looking to get married but if it happens it happens. Also unto the subject of kids , he doesn't want kids of his own but I have a child and he knows this . He is happy to interact with them as long as they are not there full time chutney I would like at least one more child .

When we got out to go home , we got in my car and he type his address into my sat nav to show me we live live a few miles away from each other . During the date , he was saying this like " I would like to take you to such and such places , i can't believe you have never been . I treat you to such and such food , can't believe you have never tried it " , you get the picture. So generally making future plans . We have a lot in common.

We had a hug and a peck on the lips when leaving " initiated" by him. I like him but I feel like it's not going to go anywhere.

Please what are your thoughts

Thank you

@lovelost21 so you've only had one date with him? I would give it a few dates and then see whether you are on the same page. At the moment its early days.

@Isitreallyme77 oh no!! That would really annoy me!!! At least you know though and can focus on someone better and more available to you.

@Shayelle2009

That’s a real shame *@SpringlikeBunk* but I’m like you and the first thing I try and suss out is the kids situation - do they want them. As nice as they are if they do, I just don’t bother talking anymore because I know 100% I don’t, so there is no point talking any further. Can’t be bothered wasting my time. Why don’t you check Hinge out *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* it’s a friendly kind of app, much more friendly than tinder.

Mr Shack ticks the kids box for me - he’s already a dad and doesn't want any more 👍👍
He seems really nice, genuine and close to his family which is an important one for me too.
So far so good! 3 days still chatting - he’s just offered me his number ☺️ So ill whatsapp him.

Thanks @Shayelle. I'll see what it's like. 🙂 I've been on Tinder, but I found it was full of younger men. I did start chatting to one, but then he disappeared ❤️