Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Eesha it made me laugh as he went into all this long spiel about not being ready, not having the time, deleting Tinder etc. and he is still using it. I thought twat😂 not sure he realised he sent that too, his other tab was 40 hilarious knock knock jokes. 😂 I wonder if he is trying to use them as a chat up line!😂

On a positive he obviously isn't the one for me as I'm not even upset that he has been caught out lying. Obviously friends it is then.

@lovelost21

Good morning everyone, I have been following the thread for hints and tips and you all seem to have a lot of wisdom . I need some of that wisdom please .

I recently had a first date with a nan I will call Mrgasengineer . The conversation was great . We talked non stop and laughed for over two hours but I am not sure if I should see him again even though there was spark .

We spoke about what we were looking for and I said ideally I am looking for a long term relationship/marriage type of thing and he said he wasn't looking for a relationship and is not looking to get married but if it happens it happens. Also unto the subject of kids , he doesn't want kids of his own but I have a child and he knows this . He is happy to interact with them as long as they are not there full time chutney I would like at least one more child .

When we got out to go home , we got in my car and he type his address into my sat nav to show me we live live a few miles away from each other . During the date , he was saying this like " I would like to take you to such and such places , i can't believe you have never been . I treat you to such and such food , can't believe you have never tried it " , you get the picture. So generally making future plans . We have a lot in common.

We had a hug and a peck on the lips when leaving " initiated" by him. I like him but I feel like it's not going to go anywhere.

Please what are your thoughts

Thank you

@lovelost21 I'd at least have a second date with him. It's still early days and if you go out again, I think this will help you make a decision to rule him out or stick with it. ❤️

@lovelost21 my own experience is that while lots of people have an idea of what they want, things can change when they meet people. So myself - I done a 360 from believing FB was all I could offer, to wanting a full on blended (very complicated!) family dynamic which is still my eventual (though extremely distant) goal with MrM. However, something I won't move on is I won't be having anymore children and luckily MrM feels the same. So if I were you I'd take what they say seriously and be ready to guests yourself if your desires don't marry up, but also keep in mind that minds can change.

I'm diving face first into the sea of twits. Tinder offered me a half price month of gold and I figure I might aswell see my matches as it's not much.
I have 3,810 likes 😬😳 don't think I will get through them all in a month. I was shocked to see so many but wonder how many I will actually want to swipe right on

@Dancerinthemoonlight

wow 3810 - you'll have to do an algorithm or some method to sort through them!

I'd say if you have time to actually err on the side of caution and give most of them a chance if there's no big red flags

as you know the journey from "mutual match" to "chat" to "meet can be very fraught and chats fizzle out or they don't reply or they're weird when you chat or try to set up a meeting.

Lots of nice mild-mannered contacts on Hinge.

This is what I needed really right now so very glad I found it, was getting a bit with the Tinder/Bumble set-up and seeing the same new faces being recycled (I was one of them!)

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards @Eesha thank you ladies . I will follow your advice

[quote frankiefirstyear]@lovelost21 my own experience is that while lots of people have an idea of what they want, things can change when they meet people. So myself - I done a 360 from believing FB was all I could offer, to wanting a full on blended (very complicated!) family dynamic which is still my eventual (though extremely distant) goal with MrM. However, something I won't move on is I won't be having anymore children and luckily MrM feels the same. So if I were you I'd take what they say seriously and be ready to guests yourself if your desires don't marry up, but also keep in mind that minds can change. [/quote]
Thank you for your reply. That's what I thought. Like the other ladies have suggested, I will go on another date whilst keeping in mind what you have said . I don't just want to put myself in a position where I like him too much when he's not right for me .

Thank you ladies

[quote lovelost21]**@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* @Eesha* thank you ladies . I will follow your advice [/quote]
@lovelost21 you're very welcome 😊 good luck! ❤️

@Isitreallyme77 Why would you want to be friends with someone who lied to you and can't be honest about his dating?

Its good you're not fussed but equally I hope you don't waste too much time messaging him while you could be chatting to others who have potential.

@SpringlikeBunk I'm glad you are having luck with Hinge.
I suppose it's luck of the draw what area you are in as to which app is the best for you.

@Isitreallyme77 agree with @SortingItOut in that the more time you spend messaging these no hopers, the less room for more viable ones. Mr Italian told me early on he had another date lined up a few days after me and that 'he was filling up his pipeline' so i don't ever message him at all now. He's clearly at a place where he's working out what he wants and it's not me! Your iron possibly went for the soft approach so not to upset you but just keep your viable options open

Thanks @Dancerinthemoonlight it's just my mood right now as well. I'm in a Hinge frame on mind!

I want meets that are more "on the geeky friends first" side of the spectrum rather than being overly passionate or intense or sexy (which I haven't in the past - I've actually connected with some guys who messaged me on Tinder and I didn't reply!).

as I want to go out and do things this summer and get to know people and go cinema and for lunch, not be mournfully gazing at my phone like a passionate Thomas Hardy heroine for someone I had one kiss with and we now don't message

Haha @SpringlikeBunk…. Classic 😂😂😂

@Isitreallyme77 maybe he did delete it though and didn't think he had time. But realised afterwards actually it’s good to meet people and chat so reopened it. I change my mind from one day to the next with these things.

Wow @Dancerinthemoonlight that’s an amazing number of likes! ☺️ Nice little confidence boost hopefully.

@SpringlikeBunk and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I always found I chatted to nice guys on hinge. In fact my 3 month wonder was from hinge, last year!

LOl @Shayelle2009

I’ve got reasonable boundaries but the flow of weirdos on tinder and bumble was wearing me down a lot and causing me to lose faith in humanity

Maybe they’re creeping across to hinge but it does feel a bit more “safe space” (at least as it’s early days)

[quote Shayelle2009]@Isitreallyme77 maybe he did delete it though and didn't think he had time. But realised afterwards actually it’s good to meet people and chat so reopened it. I change my mind from one day to the next with these things.

Wow @Dancerinthemoonlight that’s an amazing number of likes! ☺️ Nice little confidence boost hopefully.

@SpringlikeBunk and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I always found I chatted to nice guys on hinge. In fact my 3 month wonder was from hinge, last year![/quote]
That's good to know 👍🏻❤️

I think I'm getting an algorithm together for swiping through my matches on Tinder.
Automatic left swipes are army uniform, holding a fish, drugged tigers/elephant etc and children in first picture.
I'm going through filtering out my hard no's first

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I think I'm getting an algorithm together for swiping through my matches on Tinder. Automatic left swipes are army uniform, holding a fish, drugged tigers/elephant etc and children in first picture. I'm going through filtering out my hard no's first

@Dancerinthemoonlight there my ultimate no no's as well, along with the guys that have a picture of a child that's not theirs ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I have also added Snapchat filters to the list. Along with previous irons and those who I have had chats with on other apps that went no where.

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I have also added Snapchat filters to the list. Along with previous irons and those who I have had chats with on other apps that went no where.[/quote]
@Dancerinthemoonlight me too ❤️

Just had my friend coffee date and he’s now contacting me saying I’m attractive and “if I ever want anything without anything in return please say”

Not really sure what that means

Seems a good sports buddy (very hikey bikey) so will suggest we do something activity based in a few weeks and hope I don’t get a classic phallus portrait in the meantime

What are the stats/numbers for Hinge normally?

I’ve liked a lot of photos but got one reply back

and a lot of first likes but they haven’t replied when I’ve messaged back?

Is it like tinder/bumble where there’s just masses of options and everyone gets swipe-happy so a lot of “dead matches”?

@SpringlikeBunk

Just had my friend coffee date and he’s now contacting me saying I’m attractive and “if I ever want anything without anything in return please say”

Not really sure what that means

What a strange thing to say

@SpringlikeBunk Something sexual...he's priming you to be an FB or FWB