Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

(and that means I have to put my big girl pants on too!)

[quote Isitreallyme77]@Shayelle2009 just some eye shadow and eye liner from Bobbi Brown (I only ever wear that brand of make up as I have really sensitive skin, I tried maybelline mascara last year and my eyes itched like hell), I once tried chanel bronzer and wanted to scratch my face off so I found stuff that doesn't make my skin react and will stick to it.

I have been messaging with Mr Cricket this evening which has been nice, he is back from his conference. My ex also came over, we watched a film and chatted about dating, we both agreed that we really can't be bothered with it right now, he also thinks it's nice that Mr Cricket and I decided to stay in touch and meet up as friends though (its weird talking to the man I was married to,and still am married to, about dating.). Nothing from Mr Confused I think he finally gave up last night.

So all in all today has been a good day.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards that's the best way to be, take it slowly and taking breaks.❤ I keep taking breaks in fact I'm going to take one soon and concentrate on other things, it's my parents 50th wedding anniversary, my friends birthday and my ex's birthday, and my wedding anniversary all in the first two weeks of July. There is also the Euros and Wimbledon so I'm happy.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme77 I think so too. 😘 it'll break up some of the OLD drudgery at least!

How lovely! Hope your parents have a wonderful wedding anniversary ❤️

Sending love and luck, @VanGogh ❤️😘😘

I have cancelled my date for tonight. First it was the planning to stay in the town/city we are meeting in because he didn't want to get the train home tipsy.
Then it was he is leaving a party early to see me but I could go to the party with him.
The last was changing the location to his so we could have a picnic on the beach and he would give me petrol money.
Started to get the feeling he was angling for an invite back to mine and as I didn't suggest it then he moved the location to his. Keeping my boundaries high and it just didn't feel right.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I have cancelled my date for tonight. First it was the planning to stay in the town/city we are meeting in because he didn't want to get the train home tipsy. Then it was he is leaving a party early to see me but I could go to the party with him. The last was changing the location to his so we could have a picnic on the beach and he would give me petrol money. Started to get the feeling he was angling for an invite back to mine and as I didn't suggest it then he moved the location to his. Keeping my boundaries high and it just didn't feel right.

@Dancerinthemoonlight ❤️

@Dancerinthemoonlight I think you did the right thing I mean why doesn’t he want to get the train home tipsy? Can’t he handle himself? Sounded like a knob I think you’re well shot there

@Isitreallyme77 glad you’re in a good place 🙂 your ex sounds like a nice friend now it’s so cool how you get on still and can just hang out and chat to him about these things 😄
I lovvvve Bobbi Brown her lip liners are amazing too. I never thought I’d move away from Clinique mascara as anything else made my eyes itch too but Lancome is actually lovely and people ask if I’ve got falsies on when I wear that!!

Still chatting to the builder he’s nice, quirky and writes really good messages, I reckon he’s new to OLD as just still seems sweet and unjaded 😂😂 I’m going to call him Mr Shack.

[quote Shayelle2009]@Isitreallyme77 glad you’re in a good place 🙂 your ex sounds like a nice friend now it’s so cool how you get on still and can just hang out and chat to him about these things 😄
I lovvvve Bobbi Brown her lip liners are amazing too. I never thought I’d move away from Clinique mascara as anything else made my eyes itch too but Lancome is actually lovely and people ask if I’ve got falsies on when I wear that!!

Still chatting to the builder he’s nice, quirky and writes really good messages, I reckon he’s new to OLD as just still seems sweet and unjaded 😂😂 I’m going to call him Mr Shack.[/quote]
Good luck 🤞🏽 @Shayelle2009

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I have cancelled my date for tonight. First it was the planning to stay in the town/city we are meeting in because he didn't want to get the train home tipsy. Then it was he is leaving a party early to see me but I could go to the party with him. The last was changing the location to his so we could have a picnic on the beach and he would give me petrol money. Started to get the feeling he was angling for an invite back to mine and as I didn't suggest it then he moved the location to his. Keeping my boundaries high and it just didn't feel right.

You've just described someone who's just really effing tiring! Chop and change for very little reason. Ugh.

Good luck with the next lot of swiping ♥️

Small update from me, will catch up properly this eve.
Had a wonderful date with Mr Dimples last night, it was easy and fun and we had a really happy time. No visible red flags yet but I appreciate it is early days.
As well as being a nice evening, it reminded me of how dating should be. Mr O and Mr Polo are still messaging sporadically but I really see now how badly they are/have treated me.

Thanks @BelladiMamma ☺️

Nheartbeat he sounds nice...when you meet someone who does make the effort it shows the others up for how bad they were!

Nice to read some good updates...Good luck with your builder shayelle.

@Shayelle2009 Good luck with Mr Shack, he sounds like Mr Cricket(nice, sweet and unjaded). I was his first and only Tinder date, not sure if I put him off or not 🤷‍♀️. Saying that I couldn't have been that bad as he said I was nice and is still talkng to me. 🤣

@Heartbeats0708

Small update from me, will catch up properly this eve. Had a wonderful date with Mr Dimples last night, it was easy and fun and we had a really happy time. No visible red flags yet but I appreciate it is early days. As well as being a nice evening, it reminded me of how dating should be. Mr O and Mr Polo are still messaging sporadically but I really see now how badly they are/have treated me.

Fantastic news, @Heartbeats! ❤️

[quote Shayelle2009]@Isitreallyme77 glad you’re in a good place 🙂 your ex sounds like a nice friend now it’s so cool how you get on still and can just hang out and chat to him about these things 😄
I lovvvve Bobbi Brown her lip liners are amazing too. I never thought I’d move away from Clinique mascara as anything else made my eyes itch too but Lancome is actually lovely and people ask if I’ve got falsies on when I wear that!!

Still chatting to the builder he’s nice, quirky and writes really good messages, I reckon he’s new to OLD as just still seems sweet and unjaded 😂😂 I’m going to call him Mr Shack.[/quote]
Good luck with Mr Shack @Shayelle ❤️

Hi everyone,

Lovely to see some great dating news on here.

Mr. HR is still busy, I think, so haven't talked to him for a few days.

I'm still swiping on Bumble but haven't had any matches yet ❤️

@VanGoghsDog

That sounds good - I agree I wouldn't want to get straight into the whole "ok you just come over split a bottle and stay at mine" routine with MrTall.

It just seems a bit clinical, like he isn't offering much and setting you up to basically host all the time, and if you were very keen and the chemistry was fizzling I don't think there'd be any hesitation at all!

The reason I said film or something was maybe more "non sex" time is it would give you more of a chance to build a connection/chat together/see if there is no connection etc.

It seems like both these guys are fairly slow-burners/Attractive enough and Ok to date but might not be exactly what you need

So there's always the option of keeping them in touch, but not making any commitments or decisions and taking more swipes when you have time.

That's where I am with my contacts at the moment - fine and I'd be happy to meet, but I don't think anything exciting is going to happen (without me overfunctioning/doing stuff I don't want to do)

so I'm single so will swipe when needed.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I agree good call - the first meet shouldn't be that hard!

Doubt the party existed or maybe it was "trying to lull you into a sense of false intimacy".

Ditto with a lovely romantic picnic - I doubt there would have been much food ready.

It's like "offer to cook dinner" turns into "I haven't got any food in we'll just be drinking" very quickly.

Even if he'd been really attractive and there was great chemistry there is something just tacky and manipulative about the whole "tricking someone" vibe before you've even met.

Sounds great @Heartbeats0708

I've found the same thing - that trying to get over the "vague/flaky" guys by cutting them out completely doesn't seem to work.

just practically moving things forward/meeting new people seems to do the trick!

Strange things are happening in the world of FinestWines... I'm finally going to have a week away from the family home after years of living with ex. This plan is that this will be the case every other week consistently.

So to celebrate, I bought an introductory fiver- for-a-month Match membership and I have three dates next week! Drinks with Mr Vision Tuesday night (I'll be driving, so just the one), pub with Mr Pool Wednesday night (near where I'll be staying so I'll walk) and coffee with Mr Developer at the weekend, no idea where yet.
And I've got a couple of chats going on Tinder, which had dried up completely.

I'm sure some, if not all, of these won't happen, which would be fine as it's a bit much to fit in around full time work and getting used to a new place, but I love that they're suggesting dates immediately instead of endless chat.

Now I just have to work out what to pack for a week and weekend of work and dates in unpredictable weather...

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Strange things are happening in the world of FinestWines... I'm finally going to have a week away from the family home after years of living with ex. This plan is that this will be the case every other week consistently.

So to celebrate, I bought an introductory fiver- for-a-month Match membership and I have three dates next week! Drinks with Mr Vision Tuesday night (I'll be driving, so just the one), pub with Mr Pool Wednesday night (near where I'll be staying so I'll walk) and coffee with Mr Developer at the weekend, no idea where yet.
And I've got a couple of chats going on Tinder, which had dried up completely.

I'm sure some, if not all, of these won't happen, which would be fine as it's a bit much to fit in around full time work and getting used to a new place, but I love that they're suggesting dates immediately instead of endless chat.

Now I just have to work out what to pack for a week and weekend of work and dates in unpredictable weather...

Great news, @WeWantTheFinestWines. ❤️ really pleased for you 🙂

On reflection, I don't think that anything is going to happen between me and Mr HR after all.

I mean, he's nice to talk to, and I stand by all the positive points that I said earlier about him.

But other than him working in HR and liking some comedy programmes I like, that's all we have in common.

He hasn't actually said if he would want to date me either.

Why is this so bloody hard? 🤔

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I think that’s fairly normal app experience to be fair?

Chats often fizzle out.

Maybe think of the matches and early chats more as “let’s just meet someone new for a coffee” rather than trying to work out if they’re potential boyfriends or virtual chatting or investing too much.

Try to get some “date meets in” rather than building virtual connections before you meet.

Even if you don’t meet again it’s just good dating experience and practice.

Why not suggest yourself meeting after a shorter period of time rather than wait for the man - the first meet shouldn’t even be a date, just a brief chat?

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I think that’s fairly normal app experience to be fair?

Chats often fizzle out.

Maybe think of the matches and early chats more as “let’s just meet someone new for a coffee” rather than trying to work out if they’re potential boyfriends or virtual chatting or investing too much.

Try to get some “date meets in” rather than building virtual connections before you meet.

Even if you don’t meet again it’s just good dating experience and practice.

Why not suggest yourself meeting after a shorter period of time rather than wait for the man - the first meet shouldn’t even be a date, just a brief chat?[/quote]
@SpringlikeBunk 👍🏻

@SpringlikeBunk yes, it has probably just fizzled out. I will still keep him as a match, but I don't see us dating, thinking about it reflectively.

I do try and see them as potential boyfriends. I guess it is because I'm so keen to get coupled up. I think I still need to work on the 'just chatting.' aspect. This has been good practise for me on that front, though. So I can't think too negatively about it.

I just want some good news to be able to tell everyone, I think ❤️