Anyone not fancy their husband at first ?

[ROZ12]

Hi all

anyone grew to fancy their Hubbie and looked beyond the looks ?

My husband and I were pen pals (I'm American, he's English). We didn't share photos of each other until we had been writing each other for about six months.

I was only 16 then and he was a cute teenage boy of 17.

We wrote and called each other on the phone for seven years before we met. I was totally attracted to him because we were not physically together so i got to know how he really thought and had proper conversations.

Our first meeting was unusual because I could finally put the face to the voice and the letters he wrote. I spent a long time looking at him, in the beginning. Then, I was fascinated by his looks.

We are 50 and 52 now and 25 years of marriage later, he strangely doesn't speak very much and we have both obviously aged but yeah, I still see the 17-year-old teen in the photo I had all those years.

So when you met you were physically attracted ?

Sorry OP but I really fancied DH from the first time I met him (at work). I decided then that he was going to be mine and set about reeling him in!

I thought OH was drop dead gorgeous and I still do but before him I dated someone I didn't fancy from the off but they did grow on me.

No but I was 18 and blinded by my utter shit of a boyfriend. He was equally blinded by his utter shit of a girlfriend. Some years later I looked at him and thought "Oooh". Two decades later, here we are. :)

I wasn’t at first but I thought he was an amazing human. We spent a lot of time together and the attraction grew. Together 20 years and very happy.

I recognised him as an attractive man but didn't fancy him as such. It was only after my relationship ended and I started to look around that I thought "hmmm, actually!"

@elp30

My husband and I were pen pals (I'm American, he's English). We didn't share photos of each other until we had been writing each other for about six months.

I was only 16 then and he was a cute teenage boy of 17.

We wrote and called each other on the phone for seven years before we met. I was totally attracted to him because we were not physically together so i got to know how he really thought and had proper conversations.

Our first meeting was unusual because I could finally put the face to the voice and the letters he wrote. I spent a long time looking at him, in the beginning. Then, I was fascinated by his looks.

We are 50 and 52 now and 25 years of marriage later, he strangely doesn't speak very much and we have both obviously aged but yeah, I still see the 17-year-old teen in the photo I had all those years.

I just came to say this is lovely I and I can, at least partially, relate!

I met my best friend online when we were 14, we exchanged letters, calls and online chats also for seven years. Since meeting 5 years ago (we are in our 20s), we are still very good friends and take a trip with some other mutual friends every year. He is a handsome man but I don't think we have that romantic spark. Nice to hear a similar tale though.

Not at all. I really didn't like him either. It was only when I got to know him that I looked with the right eyes. Now he seems beautiful to me. Objectively I'm wrong. But 16 years on (15 married) he's more irritating and more lovely, and I fancy him more and more as time goes on. It's illogical but just right.

@LovelyLaura62

Interesting topic, when I first married my husband he was decent looking with a nice body.. fast forward to now and he is overweight, bald and an ugly bastard. Im putting up with him simply because I like the house but he has heart problems so with a bit of luck he won't have long left! It sounds harsh but if he wasnt so fucking ugly/lazy I wouldn't feel this way so the way I look at it , is it's his fault and probably best for both of us if he passes on so I can enjoy my later years in some comfort. If only he hadn't let himself go but that's men for you sadly

Wow, that’s a bit brutal. Why can’t you just leave? The poor guy deserves a bit of dignity! No one can help growing old.

I never fancy anyone until I get to know them.

No, I wasn't attracted to him at all.
Think tall skinny dork.
I got roped in by his I'm a nice guy but I'm too ugly to get a girlfriend whinge.

Later I found things about his appearance I found sexy.

@RantyAnty

Ok this really helps me .

@Sakurami

Ok

@LovelyLaura62

But isn’t that why we should all go for personality as looks go ?

I fancied my ex-h when I first met him (but he was a shit)
My current bf I didn't fancy him at first sight, but a few months in now I think he's sex on legs and can't believe I didn't (although we meet in lockdown and he hadn't had a haircut/shaved for a long time!)

@lightitup2

Lol- the situation with me similar ex was good looking but a abusive shit and arrogant . Met someone now lovely person prepared to take on my dd as a step dad but not attracted to him as such but his caring and lovely nature .

Well we're not married but I knew my current boyfriend for a few years as a friend and never fancied him or even thought about him in that way. I liked him as a friend, he's a v decent kind interesting man but there wasn't any physical attraction on my part.

I was v surprised when he asked me out, I agreed initially because I didn't want to upset him - but when we kissed I realised there was a definite physical attraction there and as time goes on I fancy him more and more, not in a 'pwoar look at that' instant chemistry sort of way but in a deeper way, it's hard to explain but I am attracted to the whole person not just the way he looks and I know how I react to his touch and how right and natural it feels when we're together so I see him in a different way.

No, he was my boss and I'd worked for him for 10 years without any physical attraction, although we'd always got on - on a superficial work basis.
Basically got closer in our friendship and the attraction grew.

[quote ROZ12]@lightitup2

Lol- the situation with me similar ex was good looking but a abusive shit and arrogant . Met someone now lovely person prepared to take on my dd as a step dad but not attracted to him as such but his caring and lovely nature .[/quote]
Have you kissed/had sex?
I find I really fancy someone if they can do those 2 things right, if not, then I don't and it's unlikely to change imho

@lightitup2

Complicated as I’m Muslim and don’t do any of that before marriage .

I wasn't at first - he was short, round balding, not what I was looking for - but he was exactly the person I needed to meet. And nearly 7 years later we're still together

When I met my now-husband, he was dating someone I knew. It never occurred to me to think of him as anybody other than her boyfriend. I never looked at him with any sort of attraction at all. Then they broke up, and he and I became good friends. And at some point in the next few years I started to fancy him (and he me). Now we're happily married and fancy the pants off each other !

Definitely grew over time, and by getting to know each other. And by the change of context I guess !