DH bought valentines card for another woman

[Peebles81]

I cannot decide if I overreacted to DH buying a valentines card for another woman or not. I was eight months pregnant at the time so may have been hormonal. I would like to see other mums views on this.

Why did he do that?? More information is needed

You might need to add a bit more detail.

Unless it's his mum generally not ok over the age of 12.

On the face of it you probably didn’t overreact.

Oh come on. You cant be serious.

He cheated. Had an affair. So much so that he bought valentines stuff for her. The marriage is over.

What was your reaction? And who was it, his mum, sister, friend since nursery, or the new girl at work?

Not normal for men to give valentines cards out other than their gf/wife, even single men I would say don't normally bother unless in a relationship

Wow, why would you even try to explain away that!?

You've missed out one of the most important details - who did he give it to

Sorry, yes I should have given more information.
When I first asked him why there were two cards he said one was for his sister as a joke (his sister is married). When I pressed him on it about why it would be a joke he admitted that he'd bought it for someone he saw through work as he felt sorry for her because she didn't have a partner.
He genuinelly doesn't see anything wrong with this. All I can think about is him being in the shop choosing a card for me then at the same time choosing a card for her when I'm about to give birth to his first child.

Hmm sounds weird to me.

So not much info here but he is trying to convince you that it's no big deal that he bought a v card for somebody else. YOU are the problem here. You didn't just shrug over his overt attention for somebody else?

You're so awkward! not submitting more compliantly to his gaslighting!

You know I don't mean this.

Oh come on op. Don’t be a mug

Never heard of a man buying a valentine card for somebody because they felt sorry for them being single. Nobody ever bought me a valentine card for being single either. Sorry OP, it’s not that.

Yep
Don’t be a mug
How did you find the other card?

Yeah that’s weird. Even if he’s not lying, I’d be weirded out if I got a valentines from a married coworker.

Can't believe what I'm reading

You're asking if you overreacted, it doesn't sound like you've reacted enough! NO THIS IS NOT OK and his explanation (and change of story!!) is serious cause for concern. You must know this already without the help of MN?

How did you handle it?

He felt sorry for her?

Nonsense. I bet he has worked with thousands of women who haven't had a partner over the years. I always hate valentines day MORE when I'm with somebody! So he should ''feel sorry'' for women with shit boyfriends/partners. It's so shit knowing that your 'partner' is useless or diverted elsewhere.

Does he feel sorry for you? having a husband who buys valentines cards for other women? Maybe some other men out there would feel sorry for you!?

I'm sad but at the same time relieved that it's not just me overreacting, that other women would feel the same way. I haven't told anyone about this not even my mum.

I cannot decide if I overreacted to DH buying a valentines card for another woman or not.

You didn't. In fact you under reacted. You are still together?

I'm betting this woman wasn't 60 year old Barbara with the dodgy knee......

@Gucci1961 you have been a breath of fresh air for me thank you. I now need to figure out what to do.

Why is this only coming to a head 3 months later?

@thecatwithnoeyes

I cannot decide if I overreacted to DH buying a valentines card for another woman or not.

You didn't. In fact you under reacted. You are still together?

It never got resolved because I went into premature labour. Yes still together.