DH bought valentines card for another woman

[Peebles81]

I cannot decide if I overreacted to DH buying a valentines card for another woman or not. I was eight months pregnant at the time so may have been hormonal. I would like to see other mums views on this.

I wouldn't put this women out of his touch by the way she looks, he may find her attractive in otherwise.

He has totally gas lit you and made it your fault for asking and even making you apologise.

I would check his phone

To me buying the card isn’t necessarily an issue, but the fact that when you bought it up he tried to derail and you made you feel crazy doesn’t sit right with me at all.

My husband did this for a year to deflect from his affair (I’m not saying your husband is having one, just that my husband used the same tactic when he was) to the point that I ended up in counselling to try and deal with “my controlling and untrusting behaviour”.

He needs to step up and take responsibility for the fact he did something that upset you (and most others would agree is was wrong so you’re not being unreasonable to feel like that), if he won’t do that then I question how much he really cares about you.

Sorry this has happened x

@SorryAboutTheTypos Wow- He led to you going into therapy because he made you think it was just you being paranoid?

How did you find out you were right all along? PM if you prefer. x

I’d had some therapy for other anxiety issues but had left a few months before this all happened. I kept telling him I was upset by their friendship and kept being told that I was wrong and they were just friends so I rebooked myself into counselling to deal with my trust issues. He knew I was doing it and why and encouraged me to go ahead.

It all came out in dribs and drabs, but I finally got all the details when she gave him a her or me ultimatum.

Please don’t think that just because this happened to me yours will be the same. Mine was an extreme example (I’ve been assured by my counsellor since that this is the case). However, don’t let him minimise your feelings and believe you’re crazy as what he did wasn’t right. It may well have been innocent, but you’re definitely not crazy to be upset by it and he should respect how you feel.

Sorry op. It’s not just a card.