AIBU for wanting silence during piano lessons

[SassenachWitch]

I’m not brave enough for AIBU, and I see it as a relationship problem also.

My 13 year old DD, has piano lessons via zoom on Tuesday afternoons, the only place for her to set up properly is the dining room. There’s usually only her and older sister home (who stays in her room) during this lesson, but my P has changed jobs and is now home during her lesson. I’ve asked him to keep the noise down as even with the doors closed, we can hear the teacher speaking so no doubt she can hear us.

So tonight I was home first and P walked in 5 minutes before her lesson ended, he was speaking loud and clattering around the kitchen, I asked him to lower his voice and it’s ended in a massive row.

How he can’t even talk in his own house and I’m being ridiculous to expect quiet and he doesn’t care if the teacher can hear us talking. He also stormed off upstairs saying he’d stay in his room out of the way!

Its not just about the teacher hearing, DD is practicing for an exam so needs to concentrate.
She’s now upset because she heard our disagreement and is saying she won’t have her lessons anymore.

For me, this is just another example of his selfishness.

He’s forgetting that during the 2 x 50 minute interviews he’s had via zoom, I kept everyone, including the cat out of earshot!!

So the crafty bastard has taken all of the paperwork for the house. Tenancy agreements, bills, deposit scheme paperwork.

Pissed off with myself, I’m not usually such a mug when it comes to things like this.

I left the house as he asked while he packed his things, thinking he just wanted to be alone, maybe say goodbye to the cat etc but seems he spent the time grabbing every piece of paperwork he could find.

I’m also pretty certain he wasn’t alone, he took so much in only an hour, and with him deleting the doorbell footage I’d say he definitely had help.

Read this back.

Please have someone with you when he picks his stuff up.

He's likely to have someone with him based on last time and the fact it's stuff like a bike etc.

Don't be outnumbered and emotional, be accompanied and prepared.

I know, you’re right, I need backup, someone to make sure I keep my mouth shut, whether I’m upset or angry he’ll love that as he’s got a reaction.

For years and years I’ve practically begged for his love, he’s always kept me at arms length, even now I want to know if he ever loved me. Why do I care? I wanted this to be over. It needed to be over.

How are you op?

Not sure, he came round last night to pick up a few more things.

He also gave me back the household paperwork and bank account, which is a good sign that he’s not going to screw me over I think(?)

@SassenachWitch

He also gave me back the household paperwork and bank account, which is a good sign that he’s not going to screw me over I think(?)

Hopefully he won't screw your over. I wonder whether he's taken copies of all this paperwork though? Showing willing upfront but acting differently behind the scenes... 🌹

How did it go with agency?

Hi op, I've followed your thread since the beginning and just wanted to say that you have no reason whatsoever to be down on yourself, you trusted someone not worthy of that trust, that is on him, not you. I wish you the best for your future

God, I’m struggling, I really didn’t expect to feel like this. I’m so down, so low.

My kids are with their Dad until Thursday. I’m rattling around in a big empty house on my own. Friends are all busy, or away for the bank holiday.

I can’t busy myself, I’ve tried, I have no motivation for housework.

Try to view this not as a couple of days alone but as a couple of days of unadulterated YOU time.

Are there any series you can binge on Netflix / prime etc? Any films you've been meaning to watch? Any takeaways you love that you could enjoy? Anything you love eating that you could make today?

I know it's so tough but this too shall pass