Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Damn @SpringlikeBunk it’s bad news isn’t it, takes a toll when you think things are finally turning round then it goes downhill again. We’re here with you!!

#ThreadGroupHug

Group hug 💜💜

[quote Heartbeats0708]@Shayelle2009 I do know deep down that you're right, and every argument for not doing that is just a daft excuse. I just can't bring myself to?
Thanks @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I appreciate the kind words. Definitely need to do some work on myself, I'm in the "what did I do/say wrong?" phase. He is inconsistent, flakey, unreliable and a terrible time keeper and seems to have ghosted me. Ouch. But when we're together it was different, of course.
So now I'm maudling on a Friday night, having arranged childcare, and feeling really down in the dumps.
Sorry to hear that @SpringlikeBunk that's rubbish news. I'm right there on that bench with you [/quote]
You're very welcome, @Heartbeats ❤️

I completely understand how you're feeling. I felt exactly the same when things with my ex ended. You just can't help feeling it's something to do with you, and it's horrible.

But trust me, you will find the right man for you. You sound like an amazing woman and you deserve to feel loved and valued

I've come to be quite relaxed about flakiness until it messes with my almost none existent childcare...bazooka time. MrM is incredibly flaky due to the fact that his ex wife just cannot cope with the kids so he has them more than the agreement, she can be extremely awkward so he does it to keep the peace and also because he does want the kids which is lovely and seem a bit of a reversal of the 'norm' (dads dodging their parenting duties) but that's why I have him coming when mine are asleep, no way could I trust him with any precious childcare time.
Chin up heart, hope you can find something lovely to do tonight just for you. Tiktok gets me through many a boring evening, some of the things are so funny to watch, but it's no life really, I feel it's such a waste but nothing to be done about it for me just yet.

Thanks for the advice all. Feeling that group hug @SpringlikeBunk
We've known each other about 6 months, met up a few times, DTD last time which immediately makes you feel vulnerable I think?
Just don't understand how things seem to go so well then spectacularly tits up. I want to get to a place where I don't care but then everything is so shallow and surface-level and I'm not built for it.
Last time I trust a bloke with my rare child free time too @frankiefirstyear! I wouldn't mind if he'd actually cancelled but radio silence drives me mental. I kept thinking earlier "what would I say if he just called and said he was on his way?" And my answer to him would've been "oh yeah great" whereas really it shouldn't be. There's that saying isn't there about don't treat someone as a priority if to them you are just an option. Hmm.

Saw this

Poor you @Heartbeats0708 that’s horrible, sorry you feel crappy and he’s a knob. Xx

Thanks @Shayelle2009 to an extent I've allowed it to happen with poor boundaries and should have known better. I just liked him, you know? I think like @Misty9 my thick skin has gone and I'm a bit too soft for OLD just now. Will take a break and hang out with you guys & RL friends for a while til I'm over both Mr Polo and Mr O. It's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster lately and I could do with focusing on me for a bit!
Bloody hell @Eesha no words.

@Eesha

Saw this

Awful. Just awful

Tbh that guy has nailed the 'about me' section. Really what more could anyone ever want to know about him 🤷‍♀️

@SpringlikeBunk

We’re re-lockdowned again so no travelling in and out

No staycations and not sure what MrPM will want to do...And my (solo) cinema ticket for Monday is off.

Anyone want to join the “slightly glum but will soldier on” bench for the weekend I’m right over here?

No? So gutted for you. You'd actually made me think about going to the cinema again 😞

@Heartbeats0708

So Mr Polo has flaked, surprise surprise. I've been reflecting and I realise I am tolerating behaviour from him that is actually out of order and downright rude. Making excuses for the inexcusable. I'm not sure why other than because my self esteem has taken a knock and he is quite a catch. I need to have a stern word with myself as I'm disappointed in how I will inevitably have come across as desperate. Where did my boundaries go? Taking a break from dating while I work on this, but staying around on here because there some excellent examples of good boundaries on here!

Oh god! So sorry! Had enough of these flakey guys. Au revoir monsieur polo, @Heartbeats0708 will go on to have good times without you.

@frankiefirstyear

Tbh that guy has nailed the 'about me' section. Really what more could anyone ever want to know about him 🤷‍♀️

Yup. He's totally nailed it.

No words

@Heartbeats0708

Thanks for the advice all. Feeling that group hug *@SpringlikeBunk* We've known each other about 6 months, met up a few times, DTD last time which immediately makes you feel vulnerable I think? Just don't understand how things seem to go so well then spectacularly tits up. I want to get to a place where I don't care but then everything is so shallow and surface-level and I'm not built for it. Last time I trust a bloke with my rare child free time too *@frankiefirstyear*! I wouldn't mind if he'd actually cancelled but radio silence drives me mental. I kept thinking earlier "what would I say if he just called and said he was on his way?" And my answer to him would've been "oh yeah great" whereas really it shouldn't be. There's that saying isn't there about don't treat someone as a priority if to them you are just an option. Hmm.

Ok. I really hate him now. Is that allowed? On your behalf?

@Eesha

Saw this

What an absolute catch. Please don’t be a knob in real life....oh sorry you can’t help it.

@Heartbeats0708 that’s crap. Ghosting is the worst - nothing makes you second guess yourself more imo.

@Heartbeats0708 sorry Mr Polo has disappointed you. He really isn't treating you well but at least you know now and are recognising this isn't right.

Not much to report on my side as I've been unwell for a few days so out of action. Had a couple of calls with prospective irons but my spidey senses suspects one is married and just wants chat, the second has a lot of chat but no action. Ive realised i need/want much more than these breadcrumbs and am really missing feeling enthusiastic about anyone. I think when you have felt something great, everything else feels a bit shit.

[quote Eesha]@Heartbeats0708 sorry Mr Polo has disappointed you. He really isn't treating you well but at least you know now and are recognising this isn't right.

Not much to report on my side as I've been unwell for a few days so out of action. Had a couple of calls with prospective irons but my spidey senses suspects one is married and just wants chat, the second has a lot of chat but no action. Ive realised i need/want much more than these breadcrumbs and am really missing feeling enthusiastic about anyone. I think when you have felt something great, everything else feels a bit shit.[/quote]
Sorry to hear you've been unwell, @Eesha. Things will look up for you soon

That’s a shame @SpringlikeBunk you can have my Disney+ account details if you still want to see that movie.

Sorry you’ve been let down @Heartbeats0708. I think you are doing the right thing in taking time out to build yourself up. I think with those that make fleeting appearances and appear to be a catch are most likely putting in a front that they can’t sustain.

My date with Miss Can I See Your Birth Certificate is off - the reason is legit and has also contrived to cut the conversation. Hopefully it’ll reboot once the crisis is over. In the meantime out for outdoor dinner with a friend for the first time in months and months tomorrow evening.

I have a walking date tomorrow with an unnamed iron although it is meant to rain.
Meeting at somewhere roughly half way between us.
I'm not feeling that excited by the idea of meeting him but going to go and see what he is like in person. He is ok just a bit boring over text. Could be completely different in person

Dancer snap. I'm meeting Mr Carpenter for a walk and coffee tomorrow afternoon. Throughly unenthusiastic about it and it's going to rain so I really don't know why I'm bothering, other than because I feel I should be open to meeting a carpenter for a coffee. Because you just never know.

Mr Hopeless turned out to be.... hopeless.

Sorry lockdown-ness has scuppered your plans spring - you've made me want to go to the cinema now. Something I pathetically find difficult doing on my own.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I have a walking date tomorrow with an unnamed iron although it is meant to rain. Meeting at somewhere roughly half way between us. I'm not feeling that excited by the idea of meeting him but going to go and see what he is like in person. He is ok just a bit boring over text. Could be completely different in person

That's great @Dancer 🙂 hope you have a great date tomorrow, despite the crap potential weather ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Dancer snap. I'm meeting Mr Carpenter for a walk and coffee tomorrow afternoon. Throughly unenthusiastic about it and it's going to rain so I really don't know why I'm bothering, other than because I feel I should be open to meeting a carpenter for a coffee. Because you just never know.

Mr Hopeless turned out to be.... hopeless.

Sorry lockdown-ness has scuppered your plans spring - you've made me want to go to the cinema now. Something I pathetically find difficult doing on my own.

Wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow as well, @WeWantTheFinestWines ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines sorry that it didn't go well with Mr. Hopeless ❤️