Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Hi all, got a date with Mr Surgeon tomorrow so the beautifying prep starts now since its my first date in a lonnnng time! I'm not as excited as I was a few days ago about him as he isn't much of a texter, but I'm going to try and go with an open mind. Rain is forecast for tomorrow so Im half hoping the date gets rained off but that's me being silly.

Right, off to dye my roots, tint my brows, thread my moustache etc!!! 😖

Lots of love and support to everyone on the thread

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread. I have a new iron, going to call her Ms Powers as she's an international woman of mystery. Not much in the way of info but meeting up next week.

No irons for me as I'm still sitting on my hands and refusing to join up to Bumble and Hinge again. Although I'm starting to waver!

Job hunting is very much like dating I'm finding. I thought I had a really good date - I mean interview - the other day, but found out yesterday they didn't feel the spark which I'm quite gutted about. So I've gone back to my plan B interview from last week, and it seems they are keen so things might work out after all. The first one was probably really high maintenance, and would have been hard work.

Also I've been throwing myself into my photography - it turns out it's not a bad way to meet random people, although so far it's mostly been drunk guys. But I did start chatting to a couple of women who asked me what I was doing standing in the middle of Tower Bridge at 11pm!

Also bizarrely, my first long term girlfriend has started following me on Instagram which I thought was a little odd - we broke up about 16 years ago, and haven't kept in touch although we still have a few mutual friends. She's married and living in a different country now - not sure if I should follow back, or say hi - the split was amicable, although we've both moved on and haven't spoken in many years.

@Bbub

Hi all, got a date with Mr Surgeon tomorrow so the beautifying prep starts now since its my first date in a lonnnng time! I'm not as excited as I was a few days ago about him as he isn't much of a texter, but I'm going to try and go with an open mind. Rain is forecast for tomorrow so Im half hoping the date gets rained off but that's me being silly.

Right, off to dye my roots, tint my brows, thread my moustache etc!!! 😖

Lots of love and support to everyone on the thread

Good luck @Bbub. I've got my fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻 sending you lots of love and support too ❤️❤️

@Shayelle2009

Sorry those laughing faces were *@BelladiMamma* for the ‘over investment and serial monogamy’ comment 😂😂

Gotta keep finding the humour 🤣

Hi everyone,

Just reading up on the thread. Sorry I've been a bit quiet. It's been a bit of a bad week, to be honest. I had my second COVID jab on Tuesday and have only just really recovered.

Mr. Bookworm has had a bit of a hard week too so we haven't spoke very much. He did send me a lovely gif on WhatsApp earlier, so that really made me smile

Just wish I could be there to give him a hug though.
Sending lots of love to everyone with dates coming up soon. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@Slothmomma sounds brilliant so far

@TheCatWithTheHat I would follow her back and/or do a 'hi hope you're well' message. I'm not on Instagram but do try to keep up with some exes on Facebook and Snapchat because it was amicable and I wish them well, nothing untoward, just benign interest and a bit of memory laning.

@BelladiMamma

I’ve used this meme before but I still love it - the lure of the Apps!

To be fair, I’m the queen of dating breaks and I actually took 2-3 years off dating/sex!

But I wasn’t actually that happy - as weird as the apps can be, I do find that they open up access to meeting quality guys I just wouldn’t in real life?

As an attractive-ish single woman who doesn’t have a big social workplace or any friends who will introduce me to decent guys, the alternative to them is creepy married men and guys I’m just not into!

Obviously everyone’s social group or dynamics are different.

But as an ok looking single woman who is a bit “in between social groups” due to life changes/moving around I found without the apps I’m sort of pushed into a fairly unpleasant social role - seen as “desperate” or “set-up” with guys I have no interest in at all?

Apps are a nutters paradise 85% of the time but also I do feel I’m connecting to guys I’m actually enthusiastic about!

@SpringlikeBunk

Obviously everyone’s social group or dynamics are different.

But as an ok looking single woman who is a bit “in between social groups” due to life changes/moving around I found without the apps I’m sort of pushed into a fairly unpleasant social role - seen as “desperate” or “set-up” with guys I have no interest in at all?

Apps are a nutters paradise 85% of the time but also I do feel I’m connecting to guys I’m actually enthusiastic about!

I hear ya- but your approach to the apps like all the sensible people on here, has seemed really balanced & sorted.

As for social circles and connections that come through them for the sad and desperate singleton ... more like a tsunami of twats

@onwardseverstridingonwards thank you!!

@springlikebunk I love that meme

[quote Bbub]@onwardseverstridingonwards thank you!!

@springlikebunk I love that meme [/quote]
@Bbub you're very welcome

So Mr Polo has flaked, surprise surprise. I've been reflecting and I realise I am tolerating behaviour from him that is actually out of order and downright rude. Making excuses for the inexcusable. I'm not sure why other than because my self esteem has taken a knock and he is quite a catch.
I need to have a stern word with myself as I'm disappointed in how I will inevitably have come across as desperate. Where did my boundaries go? Taking a break from dating while I work on this, but staying around on here because there some excellent examples of good boundaries on here!

Couldn’t agree more @BelladiMamma!! You have to smile wryly! 😆

@SpringlikeBunk that meme is hilarious! Even more accurate with lockdown plumpness. The apps are definitely good for keeping a connection into the world and everyone in it.. it’s great you’ve made some decent connections!

That’s a shame @Heartbeats0708 why don’t you just delete/ block him, he definitely isn’t a catch if he doesn’t have basic manners and is actually treating you like shit? Just delete and block the twat without another word and move on, you’ll be ok!

We’re re-lockdowned again so no travelling in and out

No staycations and not sure what MrPM will want to do...And my (solo) cinema ticket for Monday is off.

Anyone want to join the “slightly glum but will soldier on” bench for the weekend I’m right over here?

@Heartbeats0708

So Mr Polo has flaked, surprise surprise. I've been reflecting and I realise I am tolerating behaviour from him that is actually out of order and downright rude. Making excuses for the inexcusable. I'm not sure why other than because my self esteem has taken a knock and he is quite a catch. I need to have a stern word with myself as I'm disappointed in how I will inevitably have come across as desperate. Where did my boundaries go? Taking a break from dating while I work on this, but staying around on here because there some excellent examples of good boundaries on here!

I'm really sorry to hear this, @Heartbeats. That's just awful. He sounds really inconsistent and I find you can't win with people like that.

I would just take some time for yourself and get back into it when you're ready. Please don't torture yourself. That will only make you feel worse and you don't deserve to feel like that ❤️

Thinking of you, and sending lots of love and support your way 💕💕💕

@SpringlikeBunk sending you virtual hugs and wine 🤗🤗🤗

cheers @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I won’t overfunction here - I’ll just do home stuff at the weekend, get ahead with work etc and do some exercise as that improves my mood. “God give me the wisdom to only deal with things I can control” etc.

I’ll check in with MrPM early next week but not do anything drastic for now.

Hey @SpringlikeBunk don't know where you're based but restrictions here are lifting Monday despite warnings about the Indian variant? Cinemas, hotels etc ok to go to?

@Shayelle2009 I do know deep down that you're right, and every argument for not doing that is just a daft excuse. I just can't bring myself to?
Thanks @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I appreciate the kind words. Definitely need to do some work on myself, I'm in the "what did I do/say wrong?" phase. He is inconsistent, flakey, unreliable and a terrible time keeper and seems to have ghosted me. Ouch. But when we're together it was different, of course.
So now I'm maudling on a Friday night, having arranged childcare, and feeling really down in the dumps.
Sorry to hear that @SpringlikeBunk that's rubbish news. I'm right there on that bench with you

@Shayelle2009

We’ve got a cluster of cases with Indian variant (big city) so were meant to be out on Monday but not now?

I got a lovely luxury solo cinema trip booked in for Monday (nomadland) but expect I’ll get a cancellation come through.

I’m feeling quite self pitying but also imagine it’s worse if you owned the cinema!

I’ll just stay in and get ahead with work and yoga etc

Quite glad I did get out as soon as there was a window!

Bless you @Heartbeats0708 don’t be thinking anything that he’s doing is because of you! Don’t turn it on yourself you’re worth more than that, how well did you know him have you met up a few times?
Wallow tonight but tomorrow’s a new day, treat yourself tomorrow, make yourself feel better! x

@SpringlikeBunk

cheers *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*

I won’t overfunction here - I’ll just do home stuff at the weekend, get ahead with work etc and do some exercise as that improves my mood. “God give me the wisdom to only deal with things I can control” etc.

I’ll check in with MrPM early next week but not do anything drastic for now.

You're very welcome, @Spring. Hope you have a lovely weekend! ❤️