Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

[quote PyjamasOClock]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sounds really good maybe we'll be with you in spirit rather than on the call!!!

@GaraMedouar how frustrating - I agree that you need to have it as part of your plan for your day. If you liked him hopefully he'll rearrange with you though?[/quote]
@PyjamasOClock you all definitely will! I see you all as my Mumsnet guides now ❤️

Heard from Mr Cricket this morning, he has his daughter in the morning and has a cricket match this afternoon so I'm not expecting much else from him today in fairness. Said he was looking forward to his cold glass of wine when he gets back (I so agree with that).

I think I need to not take things so literally sometimes. I read more into things than there is. My ex told me to just chill out last night.

Do people get matches on tinder and bumble that they swear they never swiped in themselves? Making me question myself!

Yes, but I always wonder if they've changed their profile a bit since I swiped them and that's why I don't recognize it.

@Isitreallyme77, I don’t think you need to chill particularly from what you are sharing on here. Like many of us when you meet someone you would like to get to know better and have had a good first meet you are going to be wondering how he feels about things. I’ve been offered this advice myself in the past but what you have to decide is if Mr Cricket’s style and pace of communication suits you . You’re in the wait and see phase as to his next move. You’re keeping the dialogue open and easy so I’d imagine if he’s hoping for a second date he’ll make his move this week or he risks losing you to someone else. In the words of Delboy .... “ he who hesitates Rodney, he who hesitates”

@Isitreallyme77

Heard from Mr Cricket this morning, he has his daughter in the morning and has a cricket match this afternoon so I'm not expecting much else from him today in fairness. Said he was looking forward to his cold glass of wine when he gets back (I so agree with that).

I think I need to not take things so literally sometimes. I read more into things than there is. My ex told me to just chill out last night.

@Isitreallyme77

his messaging style does nothing for you. You're not needy because you want more than a few terse texts a day. Find someone that matches what you like. Men rarely settle, I find we are adjusting and shifting and minimising for their needs or to avoid the perception of neediness or high maintenance or whatever it is.

@Isitreallyme77

Hadn't read @Onesmallstep67 post to you. She captures far more eloquently and perharps less bluntly what I was trying to say.

@GaraMedouar

Yeah - that’d be fab *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*

Do people get matches on tinder and bumble that they swear they never swiped in themselves? Making me question myself!

I was supposed to have a date tonight , 2nd with Mr Close, but he couldn’t get a babysitter. Now he’s said she can go to grandma’s after all - but I’m not feeling it now. I’ve been out doing the gardening , all hot and achey - I need mental time to prepare !

Aww sorry about his childcare mishap. As a person with very minimal scope for any help whatsoever with childcare, I can just imagine him frantically calling round for childcare so he can see you so if I were you I'd try to go, even just for a couple of hours. But that's me just projecting my state of affairs onto him, can totally understand your need for preparation time too though (had many a wasted bikini waxes only to be let down 🤬)

I also get claims/matches when not swiped on tinder

@Onesmallstep67 and @Myfabby thank you both. I suppose it really is just a wait and see game now. I'm also a bit out of practice with dating, 18 years is a very long time.

MrC is totally shitfaced after a dry few months and is sending me lots of messages of the very long return journey (lots of rowdy Scotsmen on a private plane )

Would be great to catch up as mates

although I’m trying to stay quite dry and enjoying the gym so might avoid him if he wants to drink/party like mad!

MrC sent a comedy photo of him and the guys and one to show he’s watching a film I recommended

he does look rather fine

WhatsApp VC has been arranged for tomorrow afternoon at 2pm 👍🏻❤️😊

Enjoy @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards hope you have fun planning your date!
Lol @SpringlikeBunk glad the attraction to Mr C is still there
Was supposed to be having a make/break conversation with Mr O but he seems to have gone AWOL. I didn't have him down as a ghoster, especially after the best part of 2 years. I'm fairly sure he's out on a date but a tiny part of me is concerned for his wellbeing. Wwyd?

@Heartbeats0708 Yy I’d like to meet MrC
But of course it’s easier to feel all this attraction and longing “at a distance” and the reality may be different! That said we haven’t really spent much “non lockdown not winter” time together.

Can you give things a few days with MrO then check in? It’s hard to judge without knowing what his “regular contact” is like - is he normally good?

Yeah I know that feeling all too well @SpringlikeBunk it's nice to think about til reality hits though!
Contact usually excellent, rarely without his phone. We last spoke on Tues and had agreed to a little time apart to think things through. I reached out today but nothing, call went straight to voicemail too. If things are over then I'll survive, but I thought we both deserved a bit of closure? Esp after so long and having got through a lot.

Date is rearranged for tomorrow night , for a drink and stroll around my town which will be nice so that’s good. I’m not a spontaneous person at all - I like to plan!

@GaraMedouar

Date is rearranged for tomorrow night , for a drink and stroll around my town which will be nice so that’s good. I’m not a spontaneous person at all - I like to plan!

Enjoy @Gara! ❤️

@Heartbeats0708

Enjoy *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* hope you have fun planning your date! Lol *@SpringlikeBunk* glad the attraction to Mr C is still there Was supposed to be having a make/break conversation with Mr O but he seems to have gone AWOL. I didn't have him down as a ghoster, especially after the best part of 2 years. I'm fairly sure he's out on a date but a tiny part of me is concerned for his wellbeing. Wwyd?

Thanks @Heartbeats! Am looking forward to it! ❤️

Noticed there were only a few posts left. So new thread alert

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4257677-Dating-Thread-205-dusting-off-the-gladrags?watched=1

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]Noticed there were only a few posts left. So new thread alert

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4257677-Dating-Thread-205-dusting-off-the-gladrags?watched=1[/quote]
Ooh I wonder who thought up that name... 😉thanks @Dancer ❤️