Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Howdoesthiswork

Thanks. So good to hear that!

@Howdoesthiswork 👍🏻❤️

So I got there a few minutes early,didn't see him waiting so I popped into the shops and had a look at shoes. I was slightly worried he might not turn up, I hadn't heard from him today, got a call at 3pm he told me not to worry as he was here but didn't know where the place was. So I went to meet him. We chatted for nearly two hours, he is really nice,his pictures don't do him justice. We said we'd stay in touch, whatever that means I don't know. I said I had a nice time, he said my pleasure he had a nice time too.

I'd see him again, although nothing was mentioned.

@Isitreallyme77

So I got there a few minutes early,didn't see him waiting so I popped into the shops and had a look at shoes. I was slightly worried he might not turn up, I hadn't heard from him today, got a call at 3pm he told me not to worry as he was here but didn't know where the place was. So I went to meet him. We chatted for nearly two hours, he is really nice,his pictures don't do him justice. We said we'd stay in touch, whatever that means I don't know. I said I had a nice time, he said my pleasure he had a nice time too.

I'd see him again, although nothing was mentioned.

@Isitreallyme77 yay! So happy to hear it went well ❤️

@Isitreallyme77 I hope a second date is on the cards. He sounds really lovely ❤️

That sounds really wholesome @Isitreallyme77 . I really hope something sparks from it, you deserve it xx

If anyone’s interested... The results from my experimental mad right swipe session on tinder earlier today... so I did get a long run of different kind of men and I guess ones that other people would deem ‘hot’... not so much my type though. Dont think ill be bothering with that method anymore! I got loads of first messages, but unmatched every single one... jeez, I’m a hard old cow to please 😬🤷🏻‍♀️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards and @Shayelle2009 thank you ❤ Xxx. I hope so too,he seemed really nice. I'm just wary that no second date was mentioned. I was going to send him a message saying next time, if he wants to do it again, it's my turn to pay. I like that he doesn't message lots too.

Well let’s hope if he enjoyed it too you will meet up again... wishing you good luck with it 😊🍀💘

@Heartbeats0708

Also looking out for an update from *@Isitreallyme77* I hope it went well! Conversation is flowing with new match but he's mentioned he doesn't currently have access to a car and has hinted that I could travel to him.. what happened to a bit of mutual effort?! My love life head is such a muddle right now, I'm really doing the bare minimum

This has massively put me off in the past too, given where I live it's really important to be ready for a bit of driving! MrCypriot got friend zoned for this

[quote Isitreallyme77]**@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* and @Shayelle2009* thank you ❤ Xxx. I hope so too,he seemed really nice. I'm just wary that no second date was mentioned. I was going to send him a message saying next time, if he wants to do it again, it's my turn to pay. I like that he doesn't message lots too.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme77 ❤️ xxx

Yeay for good dates!

I ended up at Mr HT's last night. And we have a dinner date planned for Wednesday night.

Yip I know

And no we aren't a thing

But he's took the message I don't want just spontaneous hookups and would like some planned time

And it's a just go with it, cherish the connection and appreciate what we have for now (non exclusive) but he's not meeting anyone else. I am at least until he figures out what he wants from me. It's my self protection.

Ffs what am I like.
Last nights snog was pure 🔥 though

It’s good to feel alive and excited @cravingthelook 💛💛

@cravingthelook

Yeay for good dates!

I ended up at Mr HT's last night. And we have a dinner date planned for Wednesday night.

Yip I know

And no we aren't a thing

But he's took the message I don't want just spontaneous hookups and would like some planned time

And it's a just go with it, cherish the connection and appreciate what we have for now (non exclusive) but he's not meeting anyone else. I am at least until he figures out what he wants from me. It's my self protection.

Ffs what am I like.
Last nights snog was pure 🔥 though

Good for you, @craving! ❤️

I want to feel excited again too...hope it goes well craving sounds like you've got your head screwed on with it!

How's it going with thigh man shayelle?

@bangheadhere40 i unmatched HotThighs in the end... I wasnt really feeling any vibes there... feeling like I want to delete tinder already.. I have no patience 😂😂

Hello, long time lurker, can I ask a question of you wise lot! Been seeing someone about a month, dtd last week. Since then still messaging but definitely cooler and he cancelled a meet since. Not made another. If I question it I'll appear needy as a bit soon to be asking but if I don't question it I'm just accepting being breadcrumbed. I can just be cool and let him start any exchanges and see what happens but this irritates me as allowing him to cool it and put me on a back burner. Grrr. I do like him but if he was still keen I wouldn't be feeling like this, gut instinct at play!!

@cravingthelook I agree it's good to feel excited again. It is something you can look forward to.

@Bythecooker

Hello, long time lurker, can I ask a question of you wise lot! Been seeing someone about a month, dtd last week. Since then still messaging but definitely cooler and he cancelled a meet since. Not made another. If I question it I'll appear needy as a bit soon to be asking but if I don't question it I'm just accepting being breadcrumbed. I can just be cool and let him start any exchanges and see what happens but this irritates me as allowing him to cool it and put me on a back burner. Grrr. I do like him but if he was still keen I wouldn't be feeling like this, gut instinct at play!!

The gut is generally a good indicator and often tells us what bread-crumbing and cooling off doesn't.

In terms of what to do about it, that's down to whatever is going to help you ease the mental load now. Don't do anything that goes against the grain, but anyone who's lived past the age of 30 knows that after dtd it's more polite and emotionally reassuring to stay in touch.

I had a similar issue with MrGinger and fannied around typing messages then deleting them. I wanted things to carry on with him even though there were bedroom issues and in the end it took him ghosting me for a few days then getting back in touch to actually get some version of the truth out of him. I don't regret leaving it to him to tell me but I do feel stupid that I didn't go with my gut earlier.

I do think this kind of thing totally sits in the boundaries area. If we want to be messaged and reassured after sex then we should be - and actually there is nothing wrong with that.

Sorry that might not be helpful. Rambling here!

@cravingthelook

Yeay for good dates!

I ended up at Mr HT's last night. And we have a dinner date planned for Wednesday night.

Yip I know

And no we aren't a thing

But he's took the message I don't want just spontaneous hookups and would like some planned time

And it's a just go with it, cherish the connection and appreciate what we have for now (non exclusive) but he's not meeting anyone else. I am at least until he figures out what he wants from me. It's my self protection.

Ffs what am I like.
Last nights snog was pure 🔥 though

If it's working then that's great ♥️

Thanks BalladiMamma that totally reaffirms my thoughts so thank you...but I still don't know what to do!!! I'm thinking I'll wait a few days, see if it continues with no proposal (to meet, not wed) and then I'll end it even though I don't want to as I don't want to be made a fool of or just be a passive maiden!

@Bythecooker

Thanks BalladiMamma that totally reaffirms my thoughts so thank you...but I still don't know what to do!!! I'm thinking I'll wait a few days, see if it continues with no proposal (to meet, not wed) and then I'll end it even though I don't want to as I don't want to be made a fool of or just be a passive maiden!

The strange thing is when I've spoken to men about this kind of thing, often they say 'oh I didn't want to hurt their feelings' & don't seem to realise that zero communication is really hurtful.

Either way I hope you sort it soon. It's a horrible feeling ♥️

After meeting Mr Cricket it made me realise how much I find Mr Racing cringey(he is still clinging on, I will block tomorrow). He is like a throw back and stuff he says just makes me . It has also made me realise there are nice men out there. So if nothing comes of it (I hope it does though) at least I've found out that in amongst the sea of twats and their dick pics there are some good guys.

@Isitreallyme77

After meeting Mr Cricket it made me realise how much I find Mr Racing cringey(he is still clinging on, I will block tomorrow). He is like a throw back and stuff he says just makes me . It has also made me realise there are nice men out there. So if nothing comes of it (I hope it does though) at least I've found out that in amongst the sea of twats and their dick pics there are some good guys.

@Isitreallyme77 indeed ❤️

@Shayelle2009 @SortingItOut

Had such a hectic day so just catching up on the thread now 😰 MrM did see me every 2-3 weeks but we had hilarious calls in between until, yes, his kids heard the calls and kicked off, had a bit of a break for a couple of weeks but then it started up again and now it's drifted into this 😫 I check in with him every few days but he says it's his MH and he just has to be selfish, which is fine but if sinking into the 'heaven' I provide isn't him being selfish, then I'm not sure what he means?!

Anyway I've paused my tinder account as I have two chats going on (2 is my limit, can't keep up with more than that!). It's just for chatting though (I put this in my profile and spell it out during chats too). I'm so low mentally atm that I've not got room for any more disappointments or messing about, but I do enjoy a connection with someone, just wish it was MrM.