@BookiesBicycle, Maybe in your old ages, someone may be as patient and tolerant towards you.
I would hope so too. However, I wouldn't have expectations for anyone to be my carer.
She is always busy, if she were lonely we would have considered that. We can't live close to everyone we love.
It could be as simple as she wants more of your company because she enjoys it more than her friends and volunteering.
That is exactly why we're hesitant to have her move, knowing she'll want to rely on us even more than she does now. We won't be available to see her as often as she seems to think.
We will talk to her before we move as although we do care about her wellbeing, we have to address ours too. Thank you.
@Twoforthree, that's how it should be. You're lucky they're all respectful of your personal space.
I just shouldn't have given her a key, stupid move on my part. She's been trying to break lockdown rules at any given chance, all a bit over the top according to her. I honestly do understand about mental health as I've struggled during the second lockdown especially, but i wouldn't put that on anyone else. Thanks.
@EarthSight, yes absolutely and I've taken it all on board and will talk to DMIL about it. I see it would be unfair to move with her expectations as they stand.
🤣🤣, suddenly I'm loving the idea of Finland😅. I'm honestly not sure as it stands if she'd follow going by the conversation on Saturday. She seems to be set in moving to where we go. I think it comes down to where ever DH and I are, as opposed to location, which is my doing and will address.
Yes, I did give her our keys 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️. I'd thought of saying we got a rock thing off amazon and don't want to put her out if we're ever locked out. Thank you.
@AmberIsACertainty, oh don't, just the image is too much!! 🤣🤣. DH was certainly right, I need ro go round the back onto the drawbridge fast! I'm lucky he isn't one to say I told you so, even though he's thinking it 😅. Thanks again.
@Glowup2021, ok. Thanks.
@Twoforthree, thank you. We will talk it over with her. I see how I've made her think we would be entwined and it rightly does need addressing before the move. Wish I'd foreseen it all. Thanks.
@EarthSight 2, precisely that. She doesn't seem able to enjoy the moments we have without wanting to pencil in the next straight away. There are loads of things we want to do as a newly married couple without feeling guilty.
Yes, its indeed about boundaries, I wouldn't behave like that to anybody, family or friends.
I took the boss him around comment as a joke at the time but should have seen it coming. DH talks of how DMIL was always henpicking the 4 men in the house. At the time I felt sorry for her and reasoned she must have felt she needed to as the only female.
15 minutes would definitely not be the right direction for us 😅. Thanks.
@frazzledasarock, I'm kicking myself whilst DH is inwardly smug 😅.
@Justcashnosweets, no one said anything about moving 'as far away as possible'. We gave great consideration to the new place and even tried it out both by car and public transport.
Although your choices wouldn't be for us, I can get my head around it as I know people are different. Well done on your happy family. Thanks.
@ billy1966, I've certainly been a busybody without thinking it through. Great advice indeed which is appreciated and shall be put to use.
Don't think we can postpone the move but will certainly talk to DMIL before we move so she knows what to expect.
I know right, imagine if we were all clones of each other 
🤦♀️. Thank you.
@TeeBee, it's a mystery. In simple terms, I like cats, so everyone must like cats too and have them as pets, otherwise they are evil animal hating people. You couldn't make it up 🤣.
@AmberIsACertainty, precisely. I don't get why loving somebody means living next to them. We want what's best for DMIL but leaving her network to rely mostly on us when we know we won't be always available isn't helpful for hers nor our situations. Thank you.
@SylHellais, you'd think it wasn't that hard to understand. People make different choices in life but some seem to think its got to be their way only. Thank you.
@RandomMess, indeed. A bit dark, but when choosing the place, we'd thought of all scenarios , including of what if something happened to me, to DH or to DMIL. If God forbid, something happened to DH and I, she'll be further from her other 2 DSs. That just doesn't make sense to me, hence trying to get answers from her, but she just won't say much. If we then wanted to move, we'd feel guilty to leave her in a place she doesn't know anyone in.
It's frustrating to say the least. Thanks you.