DH not happy that I change clothes in the evening

[DataColour]

Not brave enough to put this in AIBU.

I'm sick of DH telling me off for changing into "lounge wear" typically a hoodie and trackie bottoms in the evening. He says I look nice during the day when I am at work ( casual dress code) but in the evening as the kids are going to bed 8-9pm I change out of day clothes. Isn't this normal? He wants me to stay "dressed" till I go to bed (which is what he does). I want to tell him to f off.
He's just stormed out of the house because I'd dare to put a pair of joggers and a hoodie on. I've had enough of his 1950s attitude. It really upsets me.

@DataColour

Jeans/trousers and top ok by him - he detests jogging bottoms etc.

Then he doesn't have to wear them. I detest jeans and top. I've never found jeans comfortable.

That is very strange behaviour. It really shouldn't have anything to do with him what you choose to wear, especially when it comes to being comfortable in your own home. He sounds very controlling? There must be more to this?
I choose to get changed as soon as I'm home from work as I like to be in clean, comfy clothes. I feel like I don't want to sit in my work clothes on the sofa. I never have jeans on if I'm at home and would change out of them as soon as I get in!

I hate lounge wear and wouldn't want my husband to save his best self for others and I think clothes are part of this so wouldn't want him to wear a tracksuit for me but make an effort for others....but I certainly wouldn't react like your DH.

I guess to me it's about if you are still making an effort or just taking each other for granted; maybe he's trying to say something more meaningful here about your relationship?

@DataColour

Together for 21 years. It's the only relationship he's had, but he claims that no other women change out of day clothes before bedtime.

Whereas virtually every one of my female friends puts lounge wear/pyjamas on in the evening.

How many women does he actually know?

He's an arse.

WTAF? I don’t Understand how someone can be so strange and controlling. It’s almost enough to be a windup!

God if he thinks trackie bottoms and a hoodie is bad he would have a field day with me- currently wearing a t shirt with a picture of Louis Theroux on that my husband brought me for a joke and a pair of pyjama bottoms with a very fetching Kermit the Frog print. I always change into my comfies after the kids are in bed.

This is really not normal op. It's so controlling of him. I can't believe he has the audacity to think this is his buisness. If he's behaving like this over clothing this can't be the only way he's controlling or just a dick.

Do you want to stay in a relationship with somone like this?

I always change into my pjs way before I go to bed. I like to be comfy.
And who can't wait to just take their bra off and lounge about!

Buy the ugliest, biggest, comfiest and fluffiest onesie you can find. Preferably ones with ears and a tail.

You're not his student, tell him to fuck off.

Well personally I stay in my daywear (office or wfh) all the way through the evening to bedtime, I don't see the point in changing but my daywear is generally comfortable as I wouldn't buy anything that wasn't!

But he gets a bit WTF from me, for thinking he can tell anyone what they should wear or do.

Hahaha! I've been wfh for over a year, I wear jogging bottoms and a hoodie most days... no need to change 😂 (DH doesn't seem to care)

My "day clothes" are finished with no later than7pm and I'm in PJs. So is my DH, well he wears joggers and whatever tshirt he had on in the day. Sometimes I get changed earlier if I've managed to sneak an earlier shower in while DC watch tv
I've never known anyone who doesn't get changed asap ! He's being ridiculous. The fact is, even though you're sticking to your guns and wearing what you want (which is great) he is still being unforgivably controlling. I'd be questioning staying with him as he seems to want to dictate what you do and when.

@DataColour

Together for 21 years. It's the only relationship he's had, but he claims that no other women change out of day clothes before bedtime.

I'd tell him to get out there and find out because if that's how he feels he can fuck right off and we can divorce. Because I can promise you he's shit in other ways. These things are never in a vacuum.

@DataColour

I've stopped having a second shower in the evening now as he always complains ( I guess it's not good for the environment or my skin) that I'm being ridiculous and it's always a precursor to getting into my lounge wear.

He sounds controlling and just plain nasty. Does he have any redeeming features?

Is he controlling in other ways too? The feeling of knowing what's coming purely for making a decision about your own clothing is awful

@toffeebutterpopcorn

I’d be tempted to wear wedding dress/ball gown in the evenings - which of course means no cooking or housework as you might crack your nail polish or break out into an unladylike swear.

Do this.

WTF does he think he is to decide what you wear after work. I could at a stretch see him saying something like "I love it when we both stay dressed up", but beyond that it's incredibly controlling of him to think he gets to choose how you dress.

He should wear his suit in the evening too if he expects you to wear your workwear.

I definitely change out of my day clothes before bed time. I might cook in my work clothes if I need to get the dinner going, but then I get my lounge wear on pretty soon after dinner. DH is more of a jeans and jumper person until he goes to bed, but never comments on my loungewear. It might be that he values his life too much, or just that he's not a controlling dick.

@DataColour

Together for 21 years. It's the only relationship he's had, but he claims that no other women change out of day clothes before bedtime.

The maybe show him this thread. I put my PJs on at 7 when I feed the toddler to sleep. I’ve been feeling unwell recently and have been napping with the toddler in the afternoon so I’ve been know to put on joggers and a PJ top at 12.30. Only on days when I’m not doing school pick up and the toddler and will be pottering in the house and garden for the afternoon.

I used to be like your husband. Then I realised that actually I don’t need to be dressed for visitors in the evening when no one is coming. Accordingly I now ditch the work wear for slippers and my pyjamas as soon as I get home. And life is better for it. My loungewear is always clean, as am I. And I am perfectly capable of wearing appropriate clothes when required. He is being ridiculous.

What a weirdo

He has ishoos.

If he is stropping about this every day and you are telling him to fuck off everyday, then I think maybe it would be healthier all round if you separated.

In other news - I change into pjs at 6pm every evening.

Changing out of day time clothes is a ritual for me, marking the start of my down time. Loungewear all the way.

He has become increasingly controlling since covid started. He is becoming more and more frustrated with not being able to do things. He wants us to go away, get my parents to look after the kids etc, go to the pub, but his da

What an absolute control freak he is, tell him he doesn't get to control what you wear and not to bring it up again, and tell him to fuck off with his sulking moods- the abusive twat

Just Chuck him his dummy before you go and get changed - give him something to spit out. And tell him if he can’t accept that a grown woman gets to choose her own clothes he’s got a big problem.