I just left my husband and now he has emptied our bank account

[Imi9]

My husband was at times borderline abusive towards me and was beginning to be towards our 3 year old daughter. I managed to gain the courage to leave him on Wednesday and I now me and my children (3 year old daughter and 1 year old son) are at my parents house. He has now emptied our joint account. I've tried calling and texting him about it and he won't answer. I am just not sure at all what to do. All our money was in there. I'm just in shock he has done that. Also I just have no idea what to do with myself now, I am a SAHM and have no source of income. My parents said they can support us in the short term but I'm just screwed. I had no idea how to try and get this sorted before and was really scared then but now I am even more panicky. I know I need to get a solicator but I just have no idea what to expect or what will happen.

@Imi9

Ok I talked to his mum. Apparently he hasn't even spoken to her about this and this was the first she's heard about it. She didn't really say anything at all really just said she wanted 'to hear what he says first before making a judgement'

Which is fair enough on her part. Did you tell her he'd emptied the joint accounts though?

Tell his mum that's okay you just wanted to pass on the message that if he doesn't return half of it by this evening you're going to the police.

@minou123

Try not to panic, I know that's easier said than done.

I presume you are going for a divorce? Try and get a bank statement to show the amount in the account just before he withdrew the money.

Divorce and Financial agreement is going to take a while to sort, so you need to sort your own money for the now:

1. Open your own bank account
2. Claim universal credit
3. Put in a claim for child maintenance.

If you can do these 3 things tomorrow, this will be a great start.

Then sort out financial separation, solicitors etc over the next few months.

Can't agree with this comment more. Do number 1 or 2 straight away as there's a 5 week wait for universal credit and maintenance takes god knows how long. It'll be ok.. I left my poisonous abuser of an ex and I had to restart from scratch. It's hard, but you will do it.

So sorry this has happened, OP. If you were in two minds about leaving, I'm sure you're not now. He's showed his true colours and then some.

You can get an advance from Universal Credit to tide you over until you get your first payment.

Here's the link for the form you need to download to register your interest in the matrimonial home:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/notice-of-home-rights-registration-hr1

It's pretty straightforward and will save a few quid in legal bills if you do it yourself. The notice will stop him doing anything dodgy with the matrimonial home, eg renting it out, remortgaging or selling it.

I'd also speak to Women's Aid and see if it is a criminal matter for him to close a joint account and deny you access to money that you are legally entitled to. Report to the police if so. Do you know of any other accounts he has that he might have transferred the money to? Or can you check the transaction history on the online account to see if it gives those details?

When you speak to a solicitor, make sure you ask about your rights to this money. You'll need funds to rent a property (unless occupation orders can be granted for emotional/financial abuse as well as DV).

Someone who's knowledge is more up to date than mine may know if financial abuse gives you rights under homelessness legislation in the same way as DV does. You may be able to get help from the council where the matrimonial home is, if that's the case, but that's a bit of a long shot.

You've been incredibly brave in taking this step. Your STBX has really shown his true colours, and not been very bright about it. He's left a lovely paper trail.

In the absence of a "handhold" smiley, have a to calm your nerves. Good luck.

Be aware that if you have savings of more than £16k. You won't be entitled to universal credit. So it maybe beneficial to have the money and house issues dealt with in court/solicitor. Keep notes on everything. Get support and legal advice. As MN would say get your ducks in a row.

Sorry if I'm repeating advice, but register your rights to the home with the land registry asap. It's a short form available online and free to do. It will stop him disposing of this asset too.

@unicornsarereal72

Be aware that if you have savings of more than £16k. You won't be entitled to universal credit. So it maybe beneficial to have the money and house issues dealt with in court/solicitor. Keep notes on everything. Get support and legal advice. As MN would say get your ducks in a row.

The house shouldn't be included as an asset as it's not in her name. My daughter was in similar position and received both UC and legal aid.

How awful - glad you got away OP.

If he mum takes his side then she is horrible too - imagine knowing your grandchildren have no money

It is not financial abuse (as in a criminal act) to clear out a bank account. Its a civil matter and the police are not interested. A solicitor would advise you better, as you may have certain rights to the house as you are married. They could also instruct him to return half the money, but it depends on just how awkward he is

You’re so brave and have got this. It will be a tough little while, but you will get through and have such a better life. As others have suggested, call your banks immediately and talk through the situation and make sure your address is changed and you can access everything. Open your own account. Maybe speak to Mums Aid or another such organisation for some support and advice. Research solicitors (and payment structures) and prepare yourself for that. List all the benefit routes and go through them one by one. Cuddle your lovely children, be kind to yourself. You have done absolutely the right thing. What a disgusting thing to do to your family. X

Great minds, @knittingaddict.

I once had a client whose husband remortgaged the matrimonial home when she left, just got a mate to sign her name on the forms. It all came out in the divorce and the mortgage he'd taken out (and spent) was deducted from his share of the settlement.

I was gobsmacked it was so easy. Hopefully, they've tightened things up in the 10 or so years since then.

Hopefully, it's not quite that easy these days.

As far as I’m aware, the house being “in his name” is immaterial since they are married? Joint asset?

The house shouldn't be included as an asset as it's not in her name. My daughter was in similar position and received both UC and legal aid

And even if it was, the DWP should disregard it for at least 6 months, and they'd probably extend that as it would by then be subject to legal proceedings.

I got a former matrimonial home disregarded by DWP for the entire duration of the divorce proceedings, approx 3 years iirc.

@RantyAnty

Tell him he has 24 hours to get 1/2 the money to you or you're calling the police and will see an attorney take him to court.

Then do it.

The police wont be able to do anything if its his money thats been going into the joint account. OP has says she does not work and has no income. Definately see a lawyer asap but its not a police matter.

@LakieLady

Great minds, *@knittingaddict*.

I once had a client whose husband remortgaged the matrimonial home when she left, just got a mate to sign her name on the forms. It all came out in the divorce and the mortgage he'd taken out (and spent) was deducted from his share of the settlement.

I was gobsmacked it was so easy. Hopefully, they've tightened things up in the 10 or so years since then.

Hopefully, it's not quite that easy these days.

I would have written more, but I've broken my right wrist and typing is hard.

Getting admin right and fast is so important here - child maintenance, child benefit, home rights, UC - all vital, even when all you want to do is hide and cry.

The police wont be able to do anything if its his money thats been going into the joint account. OP has says she does not work and has no income. Definately see a lawyer asap but its not a police matter.

Doesn't matter who earnt it. They are married, so all assets are joint. Not a police matter, but at least 50% is the ops.

@LakieLady

The house shouldn't be included as an asset as it's not in her name. My daughter was in similar position and received both UC and legal aid

And even if it was, the DWP should disregard it for at least 6 months, and they'd probably extend that as it would by then be subject to legal proceedings.

I got a former matrimonial home disregarded by DWP for the entire duration of the divorce proceedings, approx 3 years iirc.

That's good to know.

Did you tell his mum he had taken all the money?

His mum has now texted me saying 'he was wrong to cut you off financially and I've persuaded him to send you some money'. He has now cleared the overdraft in our bank account and added £200. I can't even access this money as I froze the account last night! And also it is just not enough he should have sent half.

Make sure you divert those payments that come to you (child benefit, any work you have) go to anew bank account - even if it's your parents'- from Monday.

Ask the bank to remove any overdraft facility from the joint account so he can't get you into any debt.

Others are giving good advice

@FlorrieLindley

Did you tell his mum he had taken all the money?

yes

What did he do to your daughter?

Who owns the house?
He does and lived there before I moved in

I think you’ll find that a solicitor will tell you it’s the matrimonial home, therefore you have a right to live in it or have a share in it.
You sound very levelheaded, don’t be put off by his bluster.

I'd text her back and tell her you've frozen the account, £200 wasn't going to cut it anyway as you're entitled to at least half, and that you're now only going to speak to her and her son through solicitors and possibly the police over the money. Let him sweat.

Can you unfreeze the account off an app (I think Barclays allow you to) ? Can you start the cms claim online ? I'd not be wasting any time tbh.