Dating Thread 203- Love is in the air!

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

And I'm 54 for another 10 days (gulp) so within your age range I'd say, gara

I've managed to mostly avoid Naked Attention @HairyArsedMan, which is presumably why I had to Google the outie...

At the risk of hogging the thread I had to share this:

vm.tiktok.com/ZMeg8HVdV/

vm.tiktok.com/ZMeg8HVdV/

Argh!

Sorry everyone. Link won't work. It was a guy talking about how to respond to bad texting behaviour. I'll get my coat...

@WeWantTheFinestWines damn, Mr Hopeless sounds lovely!!

I've got a couple of keen irons at the moment and I'm so skeptical!! I hate when they are playing hard to get but eager beavers are bloody hard too.

I'm pining after my bloody ex but I think with him in my mind I'm going to end up rejecting every decent guy I come across. I feel harsh to these irons but if there's a mega spark with one I will pursue

Happy swiping etc ladies!!!

@WeWantTheFinestWines
Omg the link did work!!! And I think it's a brilliant video thanks for sharing! X

@WeWantTheFinestWines - only a couple of years between us - sounds like you’re doing ok with MrCarpenter and MrHopeless - it’s great when you really feel that connection.
I tend to go for my normal type - maybe I should try random right swiping you never know.

MrTattoo from Hinge has drifted away after a few days of quite nice messaging.
I now have a new iron, who seems quite keen - about 50min drive away. Plus - just matched on Bumble with a guy only 10 miles away, result . He’s so near ! How convenient

There is a thread on here tonight in the “ sex” forum entitled “ Most of the vaginas are nicer than mine “ I tried linking but I am a Luddite who was only given a hand me down iPhone last week and I can’t create click link ! Just amused me given recent discussion on here

New to this thread👋🏼

Didn't think I'd ever go back to OLD, but I have, and not even a week in I need some wise advice..

I'm late fifties, done this before (over 10 years ago) and have to say, not relishing it at all.

Started chatting to a guy, wasn't particularly attracted to his pic, but I'm putting that aside, it's only been 2 days of texting/chat. Very easy to talk to. First chat all good. Second chat, got on to the COVID situation, thinks it's all nonsense, and refuses to wear a mask, that's the first 'red flag'. Secondly, after telling me about a situation in his life, I remarked he must be quite patient, he disagreed, said he had bit of a bad temper (with men) now we have bunting.

He seems very upfront about himself and his life, but I am uneasy about the two examples I've listed. We had arranged to meet, as I'm too long in the tooth to chat for ages, and just want to get first meeting out of the way.

Sounds stupid, but how do I say I don't want to meet? He is quite polite, don't want to offend, but clearly not happy with the above.

lotherman welcome back to the crazy world of OLD. Bunting...🤣

You've chatted to the guy for a couple of days - I wouldn't worry about upsetting him. Many in your shoes would just disappear and at this stage I don't think you'd even call that ghosting, it's too early on. But if you'd feel better with some communication, maybe you could say "I've enjoyed chatting, but on reflection don't think we're a good match. Best of luck". Others will come along with better suggestions, but ultimately you owe this Covid denying angry man nothing.

@lothermand

I agree if you’ve not made definite plan to meet just block and unmatch or send a “I don’t think we’re a good match” message then block

I used to spend ages agonising over stuff like this but you owe each other nothing at this stage - you don’t want to be caught up trying to explain your decision making process to every person you feel is “off”!

@WeWantTheFinestWines I am no pushover, quite confident, but I'm also very polite, and wouldn't want to offend, but I have to think selfishly this time. At my age there is very little time to find Prince Charminghaving lost over a year already, it's fast running out

@SpringlikeBunk I agree, we owe each other nothing. We did make an arrangement to meet on Monday 17th, that was before he came out with the two statements in my op.

This is meant to be fun right

[quote lothermand]@WeWantTheFinestWines I am no pushover, quite confident, but I'm also very polite, and wouldn't want to offend, but I have to think selfishly this time. At my age there is very little time to find Prince Charminghaving lost over a year already, it's fast running out

@SpringlikeBunk I agree, we owe each other nothing. We did make an arrangement to meet on Monday 17th, that was before he came out with the two statements in my op.

This is meant to be fun right[/quote]
Exactly @lothermand when the fun stops - stop, or whatever that saying is

It should be light hearted, fun, something to look forward to

@lothermand

New to this thread👋🏼

Didn't think I'd ever go back to OLD, but I have, and not even a week in I need some wise advice..

I'm late fifties, done this before (over 10 years ago) and have to say, not relishing it at all.

Started chatting to a guy, wasn't particularly attracted to his pic, but I'm putting that aside, it's only been 2 days of texting/chat. Very easy to talk to. First chat all good. Second chat, got on to the COVID situation, thinks it's all nonsense, and refuses to wear a mask, that's the first 'red flag'. Secondly, after telling me about a situation in his life, I remarked he must be quite patient, he disagreed, said he had bit of a bad temper (with men) now we have bunting.

He seems very upfront about himself and his life, but I am uneasy about the two examples I've listed. We had arranged to meet, as I'm too long in the tooth to chat for ages, and just want to get first meeting out of the way.

Sounds stupid, but how do I say I don't want to meet? He is quite polite, don't want to offend, but clearly not happy with the above.

@lothermand welcome to the thread 🙂

Just tell him something alone the lines of 'it's been lovely chatting to you, but I don't we're a good match. Best of luck with your dating.'

@lothermand 'I don't think we're a good match.'

@lothermand

hope you meet someone you want to focus on soon

I find there’s often a lot of “not 100% nutcases but not quite right” types you’ll be wading through

You could come up with a standard polite line or system to detach from them you’re personally comfortable with?

I find in my dating demographic people just unmatch and stop chatting

though I know some people are more comfortable sending a message.

As long as he’s not waiting around looking forward to your meet on the day it’s all fine really.

How do you find the motivation to get chatting again? I'm so in two minds about it given how the last 'relationship' ended... he was i think the 2nd match i had after downloading the app and because it worked i deleted it quite soon after that. Now the thought of starting again from the beginning and putting a profile together is a mixture of scary, annoying but sort of exciting. Any tips, advice greatly appreciated.. :)

@Naimee87 if I were you I'd spend time on the profile and just hide it or pause it in future depending on which app you use. Easier to do that than remaster one every time. Good luck!

@Naimee87

Everyone's different

but my current strategy is to keep my profile very brief/neutral (sometimes put something really bland like "looking to meet new people for coffee and walks lol!")

and just have a few good recent photos so I don't spend too much time on it?

I find out information when I'm in the early stages of chat. I haven't found this approach has stopped lots of guys matching and contacting - I used to tailor my profile and spend ages on it but I didn't find it improved the quality of match!

This may be controversial but I think most mainstream guys in my age range just go for photos first - they aren't initially drawn by hobbies and interests or personality traits. I don't mean sexy or model like or Instagram level photos, but just that I'm physically their type?

And I've only been on fairly sporadically, collect some chats, then come off again.

Of course it's personal (and I'm currently happy going at a slower pace) but I think this is a lot better for my mental health?

So, MrDecorator.......

Aaargh!

LOL @VanGoghsDog sorry that did make me laugh!

You've given him a chance at least so you know that you're not just being judgemental based on initial contact, and he isn't some "diamond in the rough" just some "rough in the rough".

He could have met you with lovely hospitality, a lovely home cooked meal and your favourite cocktail and you might have felt differently?

But "come over at the last minute for a glass of water (and sex)" is just manky, especially if you haven't been flirting in that way and have made it clear you want a formal date situation.

I don't think he thought sex was on the cards, he made no sort of move nor any suggestion.

He makes some mild comments by text, like saying I should ask him over to check how smooth my skin is, or I could go to his and walk around naked. Sort of in context at the time. But nothing like that in person.

He might be quite inexperienced. He had a back operation and was out of action for two years, then moved house early this year. I did ask him about relationships since he split with his wife seven years ago and he said "none that he could think of".

But he's a 55 year old man, not a child.

Yeh maybe he’s just looking for a woman to “look after him” and his slightly awkward social skills

There’s plenty of men out there like that - unless they’re millionaires or look really good it’s hard to see what they’re actually bringing to someone’s life