Dating Thread 203- Love is in the air!

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

[OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]

Checking in

[OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]

@cravingthelook

Checking in. I just had a moment, saw that Mr HT is in our home town on Facebook and burst into tears. Just a sad moment knowing that it has no hope if he didn't even tell me he was going. I knew it had no hope but I do keep hoping.

@cravingthelook ❤️❤️❤️

[OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]

It's my birthday tomorrow. Slightly dreading it, as I hate getting older. Feel I've wasted my twenties a bit, and haven't achieved anything much

But on the bright side, Mr Bookworm is going to call me to wish me happy birthday, so I'm looking forward to that. Also finally getting my hair done, so that should be cool ❤️

[bangheadhere40]

Hey Malborough I remember you! How are you getting on in the world of dating?

[SortingItOut]

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Welcome back, hows things?

[Slothmomma]

Thanks for the new thread heartbeats and welcome to newbies and those returning 😊

Can anyone help with wording for dropping an iron please 🤷‍♀️ only been on one date but as I said he's ramped up messaging since I've backed off. Think I need to be honest about wanting to pursue things with other iron as there's a chance I'll bump into him as he's local too 🤦‍♀️

[OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]

@Slothmomma

Thanks for the new thread heartbeats and welcome to newbies and those returning 😊

Can anyone help with wording for dropping an iron please 🤷‍♀️ only been on one date but as I said he's ramped up messaging since I've backed off. Think I need to be honest about wanting to pursue things with other iron as there's a chance I'll bump into him as he's local too 🤦‍♀️

@Slothmomma be honest and tell him how you feel ❤️

[OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]

@Slothmomma

Thanks for the new thread heartbeats and welcome to newbies and those returning 😊

Can anyone help with wording for dropping an iron please 🤷‍♀️ only been on one date but as I said he's ramped up messaging since I've backed off. Think I need to be honest about wanting to pursue things with other iron as there's a chance I'll bump into him as he's local too 🤦‍♀️

@Slothmomma just tell him that you think things are going too fast, that you wish him luck, but it's not working out ❤️

[OutingMyself]

Thanks everyone, I won't ask.

This one has caught me off guard somehow. I'm normally the first one to tell people not to bother getting invested before they've even met, but I've somehow done it myself now 🙄

I think part of the reason I was thinking of asking is the hope it will burst my bubble when he says yes

I've very aware that it's all nonsense until we meet, I think that's why I'm so ridiculously nervous about meeting. I'm always nervous about meeting people but I've hyped this one up in my head to such a stupid extent that I'm already feeling panicky about it and it's not until the weekend. What an idiot.

[Heartbeats0708]

Hello @Marlboroandmalbec34 I remember you too though I've name changed a few times. How are things?
@OutingMyself it's easily done and I'm sure we've all been there. See how the meet goes and reassess, but no don't ask him (assume he is if you can!).
Very vague & basic question here, interested in all opinions. If you are fwb, do you tell your friend if you sleep with someone else? If so, why? If not, why not? Is it something to be agreed beforehand?

[Shayelle2009]

It sounds good @OutingMyself.. nice to find someone you're getting on well with

[Shayelle2009]

Hello @Marlboroandmalbec34 🤚🏼 How are you finding the world of dating?

I agree @Slothmomma it’s maybe best to be honest and say you’ve met someone and you're just going to concentrate on each other, but best of luck kind of thing? Congrats too.. nice to hear of a few of us having some luck 💗

[SortingItOut]

@Heartbeats0708 When I had more than 1 FWB we all knew we were not exclusive but we didn't discuss the others we had sex with.

Have you had the exclusive FWB chat?
If not then you're fine to do whatever but always use protection with everyone just in case.

[Heartbeats0708]

Thanks @SortingItOut it isn't exclusive but supposed to be honest & use protection. Neither of which have turned out to be the case (not on my part!). Wondering if it's salvageable or not.

[SortingItOut]

@Heartbeats0708 That's a huge breach of trust, I expect FWB to respect me and that would be a blatant disregard.
I'd bin him off, you need good boundaries even with FWB.

[SpringlikeBunk]

MrSaw has suggested pinning down a time to meet tomorrow so I’ve agreed even though I’d rather skulk for a bit.

No issue with it and no pressure for sex, I think I’m just not prepared for someone who is quite “available”

I guess I also don’t want my time away to be one big date - I’ll maybe try to stay at the hostel rather than take MrSaws spare room.

[frankiefirstyear]

@Heartbeats0708 I'd be pissed off if it was sex with someone else without a condom and we weren't using condoms. So basically you're both each other's number 1 or main sexual partners; any add ons use condoms on either side. IYSWIM.

[PyjamasOClock]

Hello all.
I've got a video call/date with Mr NoPlans tomorrow after work and meeting Mr ItchyFeet on Saturday in person.

In these Covid times do you/have you discussed physical contact in advance? I guess so it's not too awkward on meeting/saying goodbye?

[VanGoghsDog]

@PyjamasOClock

Hello all.
I've got a video call/date with Mr NoPlans tomorrow after work and meeting Mr ItchyFeet on Saturday in person.

In these Covid times do you/have you discussed physical contact in advance? I guess so it's not too awkward on meeting/saying goodbye?

I find this really difficult. Though, it has been useful to avoid having to worry about them launching in for a kiss if you didn't want them to!

I'm quite a rule follower, so I've not touched or hugged anyone, except my mum when she was my bubble and MrWG when he briefly was.

Everyone has a different tolerance for the rules I guess. Most people I know seem to have formed several "bubbles" now and are more or less ignoring the rules, so it's hard to know where your iron will be without asking I guess.

[Heartbeats0708]

Yes @frankiefirstyear that's how it was, perfect set up really. Thanks @SortingItOut that's how I feel about it too but wasn't sure if IWBU to expect that- but it does feel like a boundary thing. I'm reluctant to let this one go because we're so good together though, wondering if/how it can be overcome.

[SpringlikeBunk]

@Heartbeats0708

I definitely feel for you - MrMilitary complete untrustworthy dick

but chemistry so good in person!

In the words of the Christmas song “if you kiss me once I know you’ll fool me again”

I know deep down I’m self protective enough to not get too involved but it’s the eternal “heart and fanny vs head” debate!

[SortingItOut]

@Heartbeats0708 Are you that good together if he doesn't respect the rules you set together?
Does he feel the same as you?

How do you overcome it? I guess he would promise not to do it again and you move on.
Only you can decide if this is what you want and whether if the situation arose again whether he would act differently.

There are loads of men who would love an FWB who wouldn't mess you about.

[Heartbeats0708]

I didn't realise you had the same conundrum with Mr military @SpringlikeBunk, you seem to manage to keep him at arm's length well!
I think that's going to be my only option if things are to continue, just don't get too involved?

[Heartbeats0708]

Sorry @SortingItOut we cross posted there. Appreciate your wise words on this.
Only you can decide if this is what you want and whether if the situation arose again whether he would act differently
This is exactly what I've been thinking over. In my heart I don't want to let it go, but in my head I don't want to look like a pushover.
I think if the situation arose again, lessons have been learned about communication and I'd like to think things would be different. But that's the risk I'm taking isn't it.

[Heartbeats0708]

If anyone remembers the story of @Onesmallstep67 fwb Mr Cocky it's kind of a similar situation in that he's a long term fwb that has helped me through some tricky situations and been a genuine friend too. That does make the breach of trust worse in many ways I understand, but I can also kind of see why it came about. Trying not to out myself with too many details!