Dating Thread 203- Love is in the air!

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

[ItsNotLoveActually]

Hi @BeautifulTrauma1 - I remember the name MissB&B! I was on here
around 2 yrs ago (different username) seeing MrWow and then MrGardner.

[BeautifulTrauma1]

Hey Everyone,

It’s been a good two years since I was last here, I remember @Marlboroandmalbec34 from back then. If anyone remembers I met Miss B&B, fell madly in love and we split up about a year ago now so I stayed off apps as I wasn’t fully committed to it.

Since then I met another lovely girl, but she’s the lesbian version of a guy - we were friends, she said the right thing, we slept together for a couple of months then out of the blue starts telling me about the new girls she’s talking to on Tinder now she wants to date again. For the first time in my life I realised I’d been made a fool of and told her my feelings meant we couldn’t be friends and we couldn’t talk anymore. That was four weeks ago, and bar one brief chat when I accidentally called her last week we haven’t spoke. Not speaking really has helped as it’s got me over it way quicker and I feel proud of myself for taking back control of the situation.

So, onto now. I went on Tinder, matched with quite a few people but I had that instant spark and connection with the last girl and just wanted to replicate that. Anyway met a girl Miss Vintage, and we’ve been texting for about a week non stop now, we are going on a date next Thursday (as I refused to meet anyone until I’ve been to the hairdresser!) and I’m really excited. I’m not on any apps anymore, as if this didn’t work out I’m quite happy to be single for now, but she seems lovely and we have a lot of football banter. I worry as she’s admitted she suffers from anxiety, and I don’t want our date to make her feel that way and I always worry how I’ll deal with it day to day if it did go well, but that’s the overthinker in me.

It’s lovely to see people settling down, I’m so happy for everyone who’s found love as those apps are awful!! My Manager went on for a few days and came off as the men all have either pictures of them at a wedding or uncensored pictures with their children, and she said also send a lot of innuendo based texts. So she wants to now meet someone the traditional way.

[Shayelle2009]

Made a new thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4243533-Dating-thread-204-surfing-the-SeaofTwits

Thought the MN mods may not be happy with SsaofTwats?!? 😆

[ChasingFate]

Thanks for all your positive views. Maybe I am just overthinking it
@HairyArsedMan I think I do need to work on showing my interest more
@Mayzee we have done a coffee and a walk meet.
@LongtimelurkerL sounds really positive story and nice that things are going well for you

[Mayzee]

@LongtimelurkerL I’m delighted things are going so well for you. ‘The ILY conversation’? Wow! Cmon mr LW say it 😊

[LongtimelurkerL]

I’m now just awaiting the ‘ILY’ convo - don’t want to do that before him...

[LongtimelurkerL]

I’m the same @Mayzee and have been with MrLW for six months so going for child meeting this weekend

And yes - Mr LW and I did almost 3 months of wandering around parks without touching but we’ve been in a ‘Proper’ relationship for 4 months (as in the touching and he asked me to be his girlfriend) - if you get on well as people and do actually fancy each other then someone needs to do the first move - I don’t think it needs to be the man

[Mayzee]

@ChasingFate I was thinking your story is like @LongtimelurkerL where it started off slowly and not physical and has progressed nicely I believe
What were your dates? a drink or a walk type date? He just might be a little covid cautious still.
If there’s a next date you could try and steer the conversation towards you two and your connection rather than your hobbies.

[VanGoghsDog]

Have you spoken to him since??? And are you managing to get through your pile of cheese?

No, and no.
I've given away some cheese and put some in the freezer.
I've taken the monstrosity apart tonight. I'm not sure what to do with the plastic roses and plastic tub.

I need to give him his bag for life back though.

But, more pressing, is what instructions I give to the submissive MrWG who has asked me to tell him what I want him to do next week (re food, I'm fine telling him what to do re sex!)

The hospital has confirmed procedure is not for a few more weeks, and they want some more tests anyway, so that's good. I just have to ensure Decorator goes before MrWG arrives!

[HairyArsedMan]

Completely agree with @frankiefirstyear @ChasingFate, it can be a positive that he’s not escalating and taking time to get to know you. If he keeps requesting the pleasure of your company and you enjoy his, maybe give him a hint or two that you like him like that. I’m presuming from afar that you do ! He could be being a gent and not reading your interest clearly enough to act too.

[Mayzee]

[quote LongtimelurkerL]@Mayzee how often is not often and is there a good reason (eg child etc) - sorry if I’ve missed something[/quote]
I’m only child free every other weekend so I usually invite him here then but he is not always free so I saw him once in April at mine and once for a brief coffee in March for example.
Ugh I’m just over the angst and wanting more than he seems able to offer it’s draining

[frankiefirstyear]

@ChasingFate

Hi All. I am after some advice been on a second date with Mr Grey this afternoon. We have not discussed any past relationships and very much focused on hobbys we have in common. There was no attempt at physical contact on either date so not sure where I stand. Does it sound like he is just looking for a friend rather than a relationship?

Sounds like a nice slow burner or friendship if you get no chemistry vibe. Either way, nice to have a decent date without them launching straight into the explicits

[LongtimelurkerL]

@Mayzee how often is not often and is there a good reason (eg child etc) - sorry if I’ve missed something

[Mayzee]

@SpringlikeBunk you are so right! I’m all about treat people like you want to be treated but I let people away with a lot and push down my own needs and ask very little really - see conflict avoider
I need to get tough and maybe broaden my horizons a bit! I’m never having a car coffee again😂

[SpringlikeBunk]

@Mayzee

You’re clearly a fair and thoughtful person - just put yourself first rather than internally beat yourself up?

Obviously there’s connection and chemistry and emotions and good experiences with MrTG and MrBE.

And that’s worth something for sure.

and you certainly may want to stay in touch in whatever form?

But are THEY stepping back and thinking about how to best keep you interested and happy?

I think from my memory you haven’t actually been dating much/that long since your divorce

so you’ve got plenty of new experiences to be had and guys to be met and to work out what really suits you!

We’re leaving lockdown so if you did want to open up to meeting others it would be a lot easier rather than “car coffees”!

[Mayzee]

@ItsNotLoveActually last saw him then - we’ve been seeing each other almost 6 months but not very often which is another issue

@Onesmallstep67 I’m going to send the message because I can’t keep driving myself mad second guessing it all. I’m a conflict avoider so will end up not discussing it all if i leave it until face to face. And also the way I’m feeling I’m not sure if I want to instigate yet another date at mine this weekend and if I don’t he won’t so we may not see each other.
I’m very tempted to throw caution to the wind with Mr BE but I’m trying to think how I would feel if Mr TG did similar, even without a chat about exclusivity etc, and I think I would be hurt.

[ChasingFate]

Hi All. I am after some advice been on a second date with Mr Grey this afternoon. We have not discussed any past relationships and very much focused on hobbys we have in common. There was no attempt at physical contact on either date so not sure where I stand. Does it sound like he is just looking for a friend rather than a relationship?

[unambiguousbeard]

Hey everyone, madly lurking.

@namechanged9999 is he Greek?

[UtterSocks]

Hi how are we all? Have had a hellish week at work so not been online for a bit and then tried to catch up today and only got as far as @VanGoghsDog and the photo of the horrifying candle and plastic roses birthday present and can't stop laughing! Absolutely hilarious. Am almost hoping an old iron buys me an unholy pile of tacky crap for my birthday in a couple of months so I can share the joy! Have you spoken to him since??? And are you managing to get through your pile of cheese? 😂😂😂

[ItsNotLoveActually]

@Mayzee - Did you last see him on 2/5 or started seeing him on 2/5? In either case I think it's worth seeing how things go with Mr BE, as you obviously have a thing for him. I personally can't resist an ex, lol, if they've changed whatever it was that broke you up.
@namechanged9999 - I'd defo say something along the lines of you don't want to continue if he's dead set on moving home. Hopefully he's honest with you and doesn't string you along.

[Onesmallstep67]

@namechanged9999, I think you are perfectly entitled to have a chat with him. Say what you are looking for and that you wanted to check in with him if moving is a definite possibility. I’m not sure I would want to get further involved with someone if they were only looking for something short term and I knew I wanted a more long term commitment.

[namechanged9999]

Been dating a month or so, exclusively, but he has issues at work and openly talks about moving back to his home country?! Do I have a chat with him? I feel it's rude of him to be so blazè about it.

Today he said he's surrounded by assholes at work and it's time to pack up and move back. I said jokingly let's not make any rash decisions though I was hurt and he said "moving back to x is hardly a rash decision". Ummmm not sure what to even say

[Onesmallstep67]

This may sound a little duplicitous @Mayzee but why don’t you see what Mr BE’s next move is ? And meanwhile address things with Mr TG. It doesn’t seem that Mr TG is making a huge effort to secure a long term RS with you and has openly talked about other plans in what he sees the next few years bringing for him. I think I would either send the message or wait until you are together in person and address things with him. I know he’s been on the scene for some time and of course you have been thwarted because of the lockdown restrictions. It sounds like you are ready for a bit of clarity now though ?

[frankiefirstyear]

🤣🤣

[Mayzee]

aargghh