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Original poster

How much younger is much..?

186 replies

HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 25/04/2021 18:44

OK. So I met a man about 3 or 4 years ago. We had a lot of chemistry. Nothing happened but we were clearly very attracted to each other.

Anyway, circumstances happened, we lost contact and then covid hit and I haven't seen him for a couple of years.

I bumped into him yesterday - he was working so we couldn't really chat but he messaged me in the evening to say it had been a really nice surprise. We've exchanged a few messages back and forth and it's clear we both still find each other attractive.

I'm not interested in a relationship, i wouldn't be a serious prospect for him anyway.

Would a summer fling - just a bit of fun - be a ridiculous idea?

I've just turned 46, he's 25.

OP posts:
musicalfrog · 04/05/2021 06:36

@lulupooh

Aww, bless! Maybe you could read one of her books to him, there must be some with pictures.
There's only one person behaving like a child around here. Hmm
Redland12 · 04/05/2021 09:17

Musicalfrog you beat me to it. He maybe 25 but obviously more mature than Lulupoo! 🥱

rainbowandglitter · 04/05/2021 09:37

It sounds grim to me. Not because of the age gap but because 25 is still so young and immature. I'm in my 30s and have my dss who is 23 living with us. He's so immature and child like I couldn't imagine him with someone in their 40s. Most 25 year olds are still living as a child with their parents or at uni. I'm not sure how you'd be able to see them as an adult.

Meowchickameowmeow · 04/05/2021 09:42

@rainbowandglitter

It sounds grim to me. Not because of the age gap but because 25 is still so young and immature. I'm in my 30s and have my dss who is 23 living with us. He's so immature and child like I couldn't imagine him with someone in their 40s. Most 25 year olds are still living as a child with their parents or at uni. I'm not sure how you'd be able to see them as an adult.
I would say that's a problem with your particular 23 year old. At 25 my husband was most definitely an adult. He hadn't lived at home for years, had a very good job overseas and knew exactly what he wanted from life which just happened to include an older partner. Unless you know every single 25 year old on the planet it seems stupid to paint them all with the same brush.
MrsMaizel · 04/05/2021 09:47

@HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch

If he wanted a 25 year old, he could have one. But he finds the drama a bit much.

He's not doing it for a bet 🤣 and if he were, well, he got hard just being near me, we watched films and chatted about life and stuff and we had sex 4 times in 24 hours, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

He was attentive, sweet, affectionate, considerate and checked for consent often - not things I've found in older men recently.

That first line - he finds the drama a bit much with young women . Well he is saying that he doesn't consider you anything more than a shag so if you feel the same about him then you are quite well matched.
Beefcurtains79 · 04/05/2021 09:50

Dorian from birds of a feather wants her script back Redland.

lulupooh · 04/05/2021 09:50

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nancywhitehead · 04/05/2021 10:14

Nothing wrong with it at all, as long as you are up front and you both know what it's going to be from the start and are on the same page.

If it does start getting serious then actually I don't think there's anything wrong with that either, as long as there's good communication and it's genuinely what you both want.

ZednotZee · 04/05/2021 11:09

I am just living for how much this thread has wound some of you up. MN gold GrinGrinGrin

Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 04/05/2021 12:17

@rainbowandglitter

It sounds grim to me. Not because of the age gap but because 25 is still so young and immature. I'm in my 30s and have my dss who is 23 living with us. He's so immature and child like I couldn't imagine him with someone in their 40s. Most 25 year olds are still living as a child with their parents or at uni. I'm not sure how you'd be able to see them as an adult.
My son is 22 and lives independently, works and is in his final year at uni. He'd have been living independently overseas this year if covid hadn't happened.

When I was 25, I lived independently and had a child.

I think all we've proved is that not all 22-25 year olds are equal.

OP posts:
Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 04/05/2021 12:26

That first line -he finds the drama a bit muchwith young women . Well he is saying that he doesn't consider you anything more than a shag so if you feel the same about him then you are quite well matched

Its fine. We've both talked about what we want. We're on the same page it's all good.

And some of the 'drama' he refers to he has explained to me and it would be drama in most people's books - largely influenced by the pressures of social media which is actually a bit shit for them - but include a constant need for validation; wanting to know why he has been online but not messaged them; sending overly flirty messages to friends of his if he hasn't replied quickly enough... I wouldn't want to deal with that either, tbh.

OP posts:
MrsMaizel · 04/05/2021 13:35

Having been involved in a similar arrangement these things all sound great when you start out and are gagging for it but months/years down the line when you have grown somewhat attached and then it goes all tits up , it can be very hard . I suspect by the way you are talking already this is more than just a sex fun thing for you . If you are so sure about this why are you on here ?

HaggisBurger · 04/05/2021 13:40

@MrsMaizel

Having been involved in a similar arrangement these things all sound great when you start out and are gagging for it but months/years down the line when you have grown somewhat attached and then it goes all tits up , it can be very hard . I suspect by the way you are talking already this is more than just a sex fun thing for you . If you are so sure about this why are you on here ?
I guess any relationship or FWB arrangement can go tits up down the line, age gap or not. No one knows what the future holds.
Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 04/05/2021 16:05

@MrsMaizel

Having been involved in a similar arrangement these things all sound great when you start out and are gagging for it but months/years down the line when you have grown somewhat attached and then it goes all tits up , it can be very hard . I suspect by the way you are talking already this is more than just a sex fun thing for you . If you are so sure about this why are you on here ?
OK, I asked because I wondered how it.would be perceived by others and to give me a space to process it.

As for it being more than a fun sex thing - we've known each other a while. It's obviously more than a fuck buddy set up because we care about each other but there's no danger of me getting attached because that's not how I work.

The last time I had an arrangement like this, the guy lived 300 miles away. 300 miles or 20 years the result is still the same and it suits. I find talk of boyfriends, girlfriends and commitment very stifling.

He plans to go travelling next year so its safe - he's not going for fall for me either Wink

OP posts:
honeybuns007 · 04/05/2021 20:05

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Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 04/05/2021 20:10

honeybuns007

Quite.

The man in question (because, yes, he is a man and not a child) is fussy about who he dates, is very attractive and does have younger women interested in him.

OP posts:
Blossomtimes · 04/05/2021 22:21

I would say that's a problem with your particular 23 year old.

A problem? Everyone's different as we have seen just on this thread. I'd suggest some of the older ladies posting about being involved in these relationships have posted some things showing they're not very mature at all.

Well, he's got something going for him at least. He obviously can't afford to be to fussy about women.

Totally. I hope the families of these young people are aware of what's going on and can get them the help they appear to need going by the post content (if it's real).

If you are so sure about this why are you on here ?

Agree. I can't tell if it's a weird brag or if it's even real. Some of the language used by some of the individuals involved in these relationships which almost became a competition as to who can have the largest age gap is a bit off. I believe some of the thread has been posted for shock value. No one goes on like that in real life.

is fussy about who he dates, is very attractive and does have younger women interested in him.

You believe what you need to. Never let the truth get in the was of a good story. And it has been a comical read that's for sure!
The language used in defence of some posts is hilarious and can't be real surely... Like who says half these things let alone a mature adult..

Good thread but I don't believe the story is real, even if your young chap is sitting there with a "beer in hand" giving you those corny compliments (again doesn't sound like anything someone would really say in response) while you both read this lovely tale... He sure must be in high demand and he chose you! How lucky for you Grin

Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 04/05/2021 23:02

To be honest, I thought resposeswoud be along the lines of different life stages and life experiences and wanting different things. Or women posting positive stories about their experiences of similar age gaps.

I genuinely didn't expect the hostility or vitriol.

And it's difficult to defend yourself against outrageous accusations without sounding a bit childish when the accusations are so childish in themselves.

OP posts:
lulupooh · 05/05/2021 07:19

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billysboy · 05/05/2021 07:26

We had a client of ours who’s daughter was dating a 25 year old when she was 14 they are now married with kids I still think that it is / was just wrong
Op you are both adults so crack on and enjoy your summer

musicalfrog · 05/05/2021 07:33

@lulupooh I'm truly sorry you're having such a bad day already. 😔

lulupooh · 05/05/2021 07:36

Not sure why expressing an opinion equates to suffering in life, but thanks for the concern.

cereallover · 05/05/2021 08:02

Well I'm 35 and husband is 26 in 2 weeks time, so I guess I'm gross.

Saltedhero · 05/05/2021 08:32

Eew nope gross

Redland12 · 05/05/2021 11:01

I agree with Howmuch, I too didn’t expect this much hostility. Yes, I have grown up children, no they have no idea about my private lie. That’s my business. Obviously like everyone else I love them more than life itself, so all I can say is on their lives i am 100% genuine, and with these responses it makes me realise what an amazing time I’m having and I’m not giving up any time soon. It’s not seedy or sleazy, it’s great sex between two people who want to! Blossomtimes in fact it was a Thatchers gold, it’s frustrating when I can’t prove I’m being myself for being honest.