How much younger is much..?

[HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch]

OK. So I met a man about 3 or 4 years ago. We had a lot of chemistry. Nothing happened but we were clearly very attracted to each other.

Anyway, circumstances happened, we lost contact and then covid hit and I haven't seen him for a couple of years.

I bumped into him yesterday - he was working so we couldn't really chat but he messaged me in the evening to say it had been a really nice surprise. We've exchanged a few messages back and forth and it's clear we both still find each other attractive.

I'm not interested in a relationship, i wouldn't be a serious prospect for him anyway.

Would a summer fling - just a bit of fun - be a ridiculous idea?

I've just turned 46, he's 25.

@MyAltAccount

God yes! I was that 25 year old and it was fantastic!

❤

I don't know, I'm not looking for a serious relationship. He's going travelling next year. Maturity is attractive but I'm not looking for a husband or a life partner. I'm not looking for a step father for my children.

I work full time, I have my own home. I'm not interested in earning potential or someone to build a life with or any of that. I don't need a man.

I'm looking for a connection, romance, fun, sex, someone to sleep out under the stars with, someone who doesn't make me feel bad for being the 'wrong side of 40', someone I can be playful and fun with.

And I've had enough of jaded, sexist men in their 50s who claim to still be 25 at heart but are miserable and complain about their ailments and ex wives. I've also had enough of dealing with selfish lovers and ED.

@HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch

And I've had enough of jaded, sexist men in their 50s who claim to still be 25 at heart but are miserable and complain about their ailments and ex wives. I've also had enough of dealing with selfish lovers and ED.

Absolutely understand where you're coming from.

She was 35, I was 23. We liked each other's company and LOVED the sex - I couldn't keep off her! I had a permanent erection whenever I was with her. I enjoyed her maturity and knowledge of life as I was generally more mature than my friends. Was great fun for both of us.

Honestly, life is too short to worry too much. If he's up for a no strings 'summer of love' then go for it. You'll only regret it if you don't.

Just be gentle with him ;)

TobyHouseMan

Thank you.

That sounds amazing!

Just be gentle with him ;) I'll do my best 😉

Just one more thing, for those asking how people would feel if the sexes were reversed. I know men who target younger women precisely because they are younger. It's the power disadvantage and the kudos that they are seeking to exploit. I'd hate him to feel uncomfortable about any of this in the future and certainly won't be advertising any of it. Im attracted to him despite the age difference not because of it.

Neither am I going to expect him to do anything he doesn't want to do nor coerce him. How many men seeing younger women could say the same?

The "1/2 your age plus 7 years" saying is nonsense. So if someone is 80 a 47 year old partner would be an okay match? Utter nonsense

@HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch

Thanks for all the thoughts and responses.

We went out this evening and had a really lovely time. We just spent the evening talking and laughing. He said he'd really liked me before but the age difference had freaked him out a bit. It had me too, tbh.

He said when he saw me again, all the feelings came flooding back and the age difference didn't seem to matter quite so much 3 years on.

We talked about what this would be. It's all fine. We kissed. It was really lovely.

Sounds lovey @HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch. Enjoy each other’s company (and keep us updated if you’d care to 😊)

@HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch

Please, keep us updated. I love a good romance with a dollop of passion thrown in. ;)

Well im going to have to update here - I'm not really telling anyone in real life

@PixelatedLunchbox

True, in that extreme it seems to not make a good match, although I would suggest that, by 47, you should be able to make a good judgement for yourself - much more so than a 24 yr old.

Where is works as a better guideline than people saying a number (eg "anything up to 10 years is okay") is the fact that when the younger .person is quite young - say they were 17 - it acknowledges that the same number of years gap is more of an issue.

So, I have no issue with a 46 yr old going out with a 58 yr old, but I would be raising an eyebrow at a 16 yr old going out with a 28 yr old

There will always be exceptions, but it takes account likely life experience

@MadMadMadamMim

I think it's embarrassing. I'd be cringing at the idea of a 25 year old actually being attracted to a woman of your age.

I'd also feel the same if a 46 year old man tried it on with my 25 year old DD (I have a DD of 25, btw).

It's creepy.

Why would you be cringing at a 25 year old being attracted to someone of the OPs age? Surprised? Maybe. Cringing? Why?

@HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch

Because I wasn't sure and I'm still not 'convinced'. For the same reason anyone posts here - a space to process their thinking within an external context and not just their own thoughts.

I'm only really considering it - there's no guarantee he would want anything to happen anyway.

What us to be convinced of OP, really? You're not being asked to sign a contract! Take up any opportunity or not as it comes, you can always stop seeing him if it makes uncomfortable. But if you turn him down the opportunity is lost. People on here with their talk of finding it creepy and icky are quite ridiculous, given no harm will be done, and it won't effect them or anyone else in the least.

Older women and younger men is on the rise in France.

Vive Le Toy Boy!

helenafrithpowell.com/the-times/vive-le-toy-boy-why-french-women-want-a-younger-man

I’m 62 and seeing a 25 year old, I don’t look or act anywhere near a 62 year old. It’s just for fun. The sex is great, I also have a 35 year old as a FWB’s. We are adults and both consenting. Go for it and enjoy, be upfront and tell him it’s just fun. He won’t care at all, he’ll be up for it. I’m having the time of my life 😈

I was 50 he was 28. Magical holiday that was! Mainly for talking and laughing, the physical side was a bit meh...people did act weird around is & I tried to keep it quiet as I'm very wobbly about how I'm perceived. That's my loss though. It's ridiculous to be like that. Enjoy yourselves! And watch out for attachment crer

@Redland12

I’m 62 and seeing a 25 year old, I don’t look or act anywhere near a 62 year old. It’s just for fun. The sex is great, I also have a 35 year old as a FWB’s. We are adults and both consenting. Go for it and enjoy, be upfront and tell him it’s just fun. He won’t care at all, he’ll be up for it. I’m having the time of my life 😈

I have a big smile on my face reading your post! You give me hope for the next decade. Thankyou.

5128gap, glad I could do that. I cannot tell you how good it is. It’s a phenomenon how young guys like older women. And long may it live! I’m not complaining I can tell you. Body’s to die for, when they get their kit off I look up and say Thank you God! 😂😂😂😂😂 bloody perfect.

Too young for me personally would be more than 3 years younger. I know it's different for others but that's me.

When I am 46 my second son will be 25 and the older one 27, so that age gap for me would be like dating/sleeping with my kids and I just physically couldn't go there. Even though they're adults at that age being my kids age I'd still see them as kids and couldn't cross that boundary without feeling like a creep.

But if you have no problem with the gap then go for it no one else needs to give you permission if you're good with it.

@SunnySpills

I don't understand this problem with age gaps between grown up fully functioning adults. I mean it's one of the last discriminations , no other kind of difference would be tolerated nowadays. Just do what makes you both happy, op and to hell with what strangers think.

@SunnySpills This with bells on!!!

Nope. Creepy, and yes, if the man were 46 and the woman 25.

I don't blame you for not dating men your own age either, most men have a use-by date, after which they are completely grotesque in manner and aesthetic.

😂

Your old enough to be his mother. Find a man your own age it's weird

These recent replies have made me laugh.

He came round for the evening last night. It was lovely amd he stayed over. I can't remember the last time I had sex 3 times in less than 24 hours and then we fell asleep all entangled and he didn't snore

We've talked about relationships and stuff and we both want the same thing. Probably because he's too young to want to settle down and I've been there and done that! In reality, I want a boyfriend, not a partner. I'm pretty self sufficient. I want the good bits but not the crap that goes with it.

Not only that, he's probably the first man in a very long time who hasn't made me feel bad or inadequate for being over 40.

Men in their 40s and 50s are always hankering after the 25 year olds they feel they deserve but can no longer get. If he wanted to be with 25 year old woman, he could find one 🤷🏻‍♀️

I did speak to a friend who knows me very well about it this morning and she said that firstly, I've never really been one for playing by the rules and secondly, it sounds like he is what has been missing from my relationships. I know exactly what she means by that.

Well, OP what a lovely, positive update.

Carry on, carry on

@MadMadMadamMim

I think it's embarrassing. I'd be cringing at the idea of a 25 year old actually being attracted to a woman of your age.

I'd also feel the same if a 46 year old man tried it on with my 25 year old DD (I have a DD of 25, btw).

It's creepy.

Rude.

Good for you! Its just sex, fun, it’s perfect, soon as they cum, 5 minutes they are up and ready to go again! What more could you ask for!!! Who wants a man your own age! Absolutely not! Stood in my bedroom looking like an Adonis! Such a great update. Carry on I say.