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Original poster

How much younger is much..?

186 replies

HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 25/04/2021 18:44

OK. So I met a man about 3 or 4 years ago. We had a lot of chemistry. Nothing happened but we were clearly very attracted to each other.

Anyway, circumstances happened, we lost contact and then covid hit and I haven't seen him for a couple of years.

I bumped into him yesterday - he was working so we couldn't really chat but he messaged me in the evening to say it had been a really nice surprise. We've exchanged a few messages back and forth and it's clear we both still find each other attractive.

I'm not interested in a relationship, i wouldn't be a serious prospect for him anyway.

Would a summer fling - just a bit of fun - be a ridiculous idea?

I've just turned 46, he's 25.

OP posts:
Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 26/04/2021 21:29

@thelegohooverer

What if he wants more than a summer fling?
Is that.likely? Really?

He'll want what everyone else wants long term - a family; someone he can introduce to his friends; not to be sneaking around with me.

OP posts:
Onelifeonly · 26/04/2021 22:04

Why are you asking if you're convinced it is fine?

Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 26/04/2021 22:14

Because I wasn't sure and I'm still not 'convinced'. For the same reason anyone posts here - a space to process their thinking within an external context and not just their own thoughts.

I'm only really considering it - there's no guarantee he would want anything to happen anyway.

OP posts:
Annamaywong25 · 26/04/2021 22:22

I say go for it OP. Just be careful not to get "the feels"

Josuk · 27/04/2021 16:17

I think as long as you both are clear about this being a fun FWB sort of thing vs ‘a relationship’ then why not.

I am in my 40s too, and while when I was younger I also didn’t feel much attraction to younger men - I can see what OP is talking about. In my 30s - I was looking for a relationship, to settle down and have kids. Men in their 20s weren’t right for that, hence I would have not paid them much attention.
Now - I am in a different phase of life.
And while I am still a living and sexual person - not sure why not enjoy it.
And if OP and the guy have chemistry and are consenting - there isn’t anything wrong with it.

For those who say a young man can’t be attracted to her at her age - really?

Remember Samantha from Sex and the City. Extrapolate.

And to those who say they wouldn’t want their sons in their 20s having sex with a woman of 40+ - why on Earth no? Your sons (men in their 20s) will be having sex with plenty women they won’t go on to marry. Some may be young, some older. What makes an older woman worse in your eyes?
I’d rather an it were an older woman than a random hookup at a pub.

RangerOnCall · 27/04/2021 16:52

Personally I wouldn't but for me it's because at your age OP (2 years ago) my son was 28 so I would find it a bit icky.

I did speak to a few younger men who tried to convince me age was just a number but the youngest I decided to meet was 30 yrs old.. yes that extra 5 years made a difference to me.

But you do you. If you want to have a summer of fun and he is up for it. Do it.

OldEvilOwl · 27/04/2021 16:53

God no!

Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 27/04/2021 22:32

@Josuk

I think as long as you both are clear about this being a fun FWB sort of thing vs ‘a relationship’ then why not.

I am in my 40s too, and while when I was younger I also didn’t feel much attraction to younger men - I can see what OP is talking about. In my 30s - I was looking for a relationship, to settle down and have kids. Men in their 20s weren’t right for that, hence I would have not paid them much attention.
Now - I am in a different phase of life.
And while I am still a living and sexual person - not sure why not enjoy it.
And if OP and the guy have chemistry and are consenting - there isn’t anything wrong with it.

For those who say a young man can’t be attracted to her at her age - really?

Remember Samantha from Sex and the City. Extrapolate.

And to those who say they wouldn’t want their sons in their 20s having sex with a woman of 40+ - why on Earth no? Your sons (men in their 20s) will be having sex with plenty women they won’t go on to marry. Some may be young, some older. What makes an older woman worse in your eyes?
I’d rather an it were an older woman than a random hookup at a pub.

Thank you. That's pretty much how I feel about not too, I think.

My son is 3 years younger. Tbh, I don't really care who he has sex with as long as both parties are consenting.

OP posts:
musicalfrog · 27/04/2021 22:42

I bloody would given the chance OP!

Do people really take potential partners' mother's age into account before sleeping with them? 😂 Funniest thing I've heard in ages!

Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 27/04/2021 22:50

@musicalfrog

I bloody would given the chance OP!

Do people really take potential partners' mother's age into account before sleeping with them? 😂 Funniest thing I've heard in ages!

The last couple of nights, he's sent me goodnight messages with kisses and no dick pics. Can't say the same for men my age tbh... its just really sweet.
OP posts:
musicalfrog · 27/04/2021 23:05

I think it's easy not to appreciate men that age when we are younger. Now you have your chance I say go for it.

Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 28/04/2021 09:33

@musicalfrog

I think it's easy not to appreciate men that age when we are younger. Now you have your chance I say go for it.
I agree.

I also think it's really easy to be dismissive of all young men as arrogant, porn obsessed twats.

My son, for example, is incredibly romantic, loving and loyal. He approaches relationships with hope and an open heart. He isn't jaded and cynical like men in their 40s and beyond!

I'm a bit tired of hearing from older men that I don't quite make the mark because I'm the wrong side of 40 or a size 12 rather than a 10!

OP posts:
HaggisBurger · 28/04/2021 21:47

The new Nick Hornsby book covers a relationship between a woman in her 40s and a man in his 20s. Just started it 😌

Chocolate123 · 28/04/2021 21:51

Go for it once you know it's more than likely not going to go anywhere and be just fun. The boost it gives you is Smile

Mojoj · 28/04/2021 22:17

Get in there!

Cactuslockdown · 28/04/2021 22:34

I thought the cut off was half your age and add 7 Confused

MrsBerthaRochester · 28/04/2021 23:32

Go for it. Imelda may is 47 and her boyfriend is 27. Good on her I say.

Original poster
HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch · 29/04/2021 01:02

Thanks for all the thoughts and responses.

We went out this evening and had a really lovely time. We just spent the evening talking and laughing. He said he'd really liked me before but the age difference had freaked him out a bit. It had me too, tbh.

He said when he saw me again, all the feelings came flooding back and the age difference didn't seem to matter quite so much 3 years on.

We talked about what this would be. It's all fine. We kissed. It was really lovely.

OP posts:
musicalfrog · 29/04/2021 14:42

Great to hear this OP Smile I hope you have a lovely summer together.

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 29/04/2021 14:52

Sorry but I think it’s grim when someone is shagging someone the same age as their own kids. Yes of course you’re consenting legal adults but you asked for people’s opinions....it’s distasteful and a little disturbing. Regardless if the man is older or younger. I’m in my thirties and wouldn’t look twice at a 25 year old. Maturity is attractive.

DeadlyMedally · 29/04/2021 16:32

Half your age plus 7 is 29. It's a bit weird tbh OP. I don't think this thread would be quite so charitable if you were a man.

DeadlyMedally · 29/04/2021 16:36

@Chamonixshoopshoop

When a man does this no-one cares? No-one is up in arms about Leo Decrapio’s latest 20 something girlfriend. Do what you want Op!
You only know about it because someone spent some time graphically creating a chart of his girlfriend's age Vs his. Plenty of news outlets found this noteworthy (and creepy) enough to report on. It's not illegal so he hasn't been arrested for it, but plenty of people were "up in arms".
YouDoIDo · 29/04/2021 17:01

Your only as old as the man you feel 😉 you should have fun you only live once.

amylou8 · 29/04/2021 17:11

I'm 44 and DS is 23..same age gap. Would feel weird to me for that reason. But you're not me, and you're both adults, so why not. Have fun 😈

MyAltAccount · 29/04/2021 17:21

God yes! I was that 25 year old and it was fantastic!

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