How much younger is much..?

[HowMuchYoungerIsTooMuch]

OK. So I met a man about 3 or 4 years ago. We had a lot of chemistry. Nothing happened but we were clearly very attracted to each other.

Anyway, circumstances happened, we lost contact and then covid hit and I haven't seen him for a couple of years.

I bumped into him yesterday - he was working so we couldn't really chat but he messaged me in the evening to say it had been a really nice surprise. We've exchanged a few messages back and forth and it's clear we both still find each other attractive.

I'm not interested in a relationship, i wouldn't be a serious prospect for him anyway.

Would a summer fling - just a bit of fun - be a ridiculous idea?

I've just turned 46, he's 25.

When a man does this no-one cares? No-one is up in arms about Leo Decrapio’s latest 20 something girlfriend.
Do what you want Op!

@Happycat1212

Wow I'm 32 and wouldn't go with a 25 year old!

I did and I married him, 7 years is nothing. We were together for 14 years. The last guy was 7 years too. I think a 20 year age gap is a little much though.

So many weirdly judgmental comments here. Life is short OP, have fun! You’re both adults. Relish it! I’ve had some amazing times over the years at the other end of the scale, with considerably older men. Absolutely zero regrets.

13Isitreallyme77 glad it worked for you I'm just personally not attracted to younger men!

@Chamonixshoopshoop

Previous posters on this thread have said , quite clearly, the same applies, whichever partner is older.

@Isitreallyme77

Me too, my DH is seven, well almost 8 I suppose, years younger.
Previously had only been with men over a decade older. Wouldn't touch an older man with a barge pole under any circumstances ever again.

OP, do what you want. He's an adult and so are you. So what if his mum may be your age? You aren't likely to get an introduction now, are you?

I say go for it and don't care what anyone else thinks. Everybody was apparently cool and 'being kind' to Caroline Flack about having sex with Harry Styles at 17 when she was in her 30's - your guy is well into his 20's and presumably you're not grooming him so you should enjoy yourself and him whilst the opportunity presents itself.

You asked why I said no ?
If you have any dcs yourself or have any in your family, would you like them to be having ' fun / fucking ' someone 21 years older than them ?

@Chamonixshoopshoop

When a man does this no-one cares? No-one is up in arms about Leo Decrapio’s latest 20 something girlfriend. Do what you want Op!

actually no lots of people are specifically commenting saying it's cringey both ways

You are both free, it’s not going to hurt anyone else. How can it be cringe if you both find each other really attractive. Why not have a summer of love. I think you have to find the joy in life and if you turn this down you will have made yourself feel abit sadder to please absolutely no one.

I'm the same age and get a lot of offers from 20 somethings. No way would I go there, they're like kids to me. I think they've all grown up watching porn and have a MILF box they want to tick.

Yes but it's more socially acceptable, for some reason (and the media don't care), when a man does this.

It's nice people believe in equal ops on this thread, the real World still doesn't.

No.

I think each to their own. An it's true it seems more acceptable when it's a younger women. We don't have much to go on other than the ages. Only thing I'd worry is he was just trying tick the milf thing off his list and be sharing stuff with his mates as a joke. A lot of guys are very imaature at that age. I think its more risk than its worth.

All things to think about, thank you.

I don't think he's the type to laugh about it with his mates. He might well tell a couple but he's not a jack the lad type and the age gap did scare him off a couple of years ago. He didn't realise how great it was intially.

Who knows, he might still feel like it's too big a difference now. I'm not sure I don't. I'm not sure either of us would be advertising the fact.

I do generally date men around my own age. A few years ago, i dated someone who was 10 years younger and it was fine. Actually, much nicer than dating men my own age/slightly older who I find can be dull, set in their ways (even when they don't see it) and have expectations about me, as a woman, that I don't subscribe to. Not just sexually but also generally.

I wasn't planning on introducing him to my children and i don't think he'll fall in love with me. I'm not daft. And I wouldn't want him too!

I've met his mum. We're very different. I might be a similar age to his mum but I'm not his mum and so that's irrelevant. My son is a couple of years younger than him. Tbh, who he has sex with or whatever doesn't really interest me. I'm not interested in taking advantage of this man and I'm not exactly sure how I could do so. I'm not going to expect him to lavsh me with gifts or fancy holidays - I just want to share time, affection, fun, sex and a night out under the stars with someone with whom I have a mutual attraction. And maybe some fond memories to look back on.

I've also been hit on by other men in their 20s/30s and haven't ever even considered it before. It's just been a hard no. But this was different then and may still be different now. There was just an unexpected and genuine attraction between two people who happen to have that age gap.

@Amdone123

Why not ? No one bats an eyelid at a young woman with an older man.

A 31 year old male friend of mine slept with an 18 year old. Yes, adults, consenting etc but that doesn't sit quite right with me, she was starting primary school when he was leaving secondary. I didn't say anything, but it feels a bit creepy to me.

I think the fact she was 18 is more alarming than the age difference. Its creepy because, whilst 18 is technically an adult, you're still very much a child.

I think life is too short to not do things that might be wonderful and don't hurt anyone else. As long as you are both honest about your expectations then why not? Everyone deserves a bit of happiness - have some fun, you're both adults.

Also i think it's only creepy if a huge age gap is obvious. As he didn't realise the age gap when you first met that seems unlikely. He may look and act older and you may look and act younger.

You’ve made feel better as my age gap is “only” 17 years 😊😉😉

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4222050-Would-you-consider-a-male-partner-17-years-younger

If you are both attracted to each other. Go for it. Enjoy 😉

I got a few “creepy” remarks too lol. Also “noncy” ... about a 30 year old man 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it could go quite wrong - at 24/25 he hasn’t got your maturity and might get more attached than you want .

What if he wants more than a summer fling?

I know a 23 year man old who is in love with a 39 year old woman. I don’t think she knows how old he is yet (they are just friends), and to be perfectly honest, I thought he was late 20s/early 30s when I met him, in both looks and attitude to life. She also looks late/20s/early 30s, and has a very young outlook (even more so than him). They have loads in common because they are both very involved in the same activity.

If you saw them together and didn’t know their ages, you’d think they were a perfect match.

OP, you are both fully fledged adults so why on earth not.

Far too much pearl clutching going on in this thread