DH has left me. Cheer me up MN!

[DriftGames]

In 26, H is 31. Together 5.5 years, married 2.5, DD together 18mo.

He's always had flaws. Lazy, quite selfish (always made the plans, always did what he wanted to do and I just went along), plenty of flirting with other women in secret via social media, but he did look after me and through my rose tinted glasses I let all the shit slip.

After our wedding we decided to TTC DD1. Very excited, fell pregnant fast, all was great until she was about 3 months. I think I had PND but not diagnosed and lockdown hit. I don't live near any family or friends as I moved to be with him. He was furloughed for a little while (5 weeks) which was amazing but once he went back, it was back to me doing all of the parenting, night feeds (EBF and awful sleeper), the housework etc. It came to a head in June 2020 and he left. After some talking he came back and I admitted fault (unsure what for but that's narcissists for you).

Since June 2020, he's probably lived with his parents more than he has here. He knows he always manages to make the split my fault so I shower him with attention and he comes back eventually. Monday last week I asked him to help with DD at night as she's not longer BF and I'm exhausted and not coping well at work etc. He flew off the handle, asked me to pack his bags. I packed mine and DD's instead, left a note and then went to stay with family. We're back now. He's not seen DD. He won't give me house keys or make arrangements but is '100% done'.

Playing games? Maybe. Have I begged like a twat? Yes.

He says he's done. Because I asked him to help with his child.

I love him, but all said and done, please can you guys cheer me up and show me that me and DD absolutely deserve better and that I will get over this?

Congrats if you got this far!!

Lovely to hear op ! Show your dd how women should be treated! Keep us updated if you can

@DriftGames aww so pleased your doing so well.

Haha I know he's the dad or your bairn but what a mug he is to think you'd take him back.

Well done, you're ace and your girl is going to grow up with an excellent role model. Xx

You are fab!
Here’s to your new beautiful life

@DriftGames, you are amazing !

Thank you you lovely ladies! I'm trying my best and things seem to be going well

Hi, just checking in to make sure all is still on the up

Hi @MrsNewms85 - how lovely of you! Yes; everything still on the up! Arranged for my best friend and her daughter (a week older than my DD) to stay over and watch DD at the end of the month so I can have a night out! ExDH knows about this is the following day he is due to have DD for the day, he told me I was 'wrong' for this but refuses to take her overnight so off he can fuck!

DD getting very good with my family now, lovely bonds forming finally. We have a holiday next week with my extended family, we are so looking forward to it!

@DriftGames, hey, I was wondering, too, how you were getting on. You sound so happy, positive and strong.
Ignore the ex's comments ( I'm sure you already have). He just doesn't want you moving on.
Have a great holiday....and a wonderful life !!

Ahhh excellent, so very happy to hear this

Op just read your thread, your doing amazing well done! Keep holding your head up high xx

Thank you all, I'm feeling very positive!!

We've had a few holidays already since the split, lots of day trips too etc and each one gets easier and better, because I reflect on how much easier and happier we are without him.

My family have a caravan on the Norfolk coast and I don't work Fridays so we often pop over there for a long weekend, it's lovely and DD doesn't mind the 3 hour drive so much anymore

That sounds amazing! He probably hates how well you are doing OP

Surely asking your DW to pack your shit when you leave her is simply asking to have the crotch cut out of all your suits? Mans a fool!

@DerAlteMann, lol !
That's so true. I forgot he asked op to do that. Who says that??!!

I think that he likes the drama and I will bet that when you’ve broken up in the past he will have been all woe is me when out on the pull looking for women

@DerAlteMann I was so tempted to cut the toes out of all of his socks but I just packed mine and DD's stuff for the week and cleared off, he then took his so we could go back, all worked out well in the end!

@Doubledoorsontogarden he's like a 16 year old girl when it comes to drama, absolutely loves it, and you're totally correct in your assumptions!

Just to blow some more smoke out my arse - I've hit 5 stone weight loss! I've now lost a third of my body weight. Feeling fucking great

[quote DriftGames]@DerAlteMann I was so tempted to cut the toes out of all of his socks but I just packed mine and DD's stuff for the week and cleared off, he then took his so we could go back, all worked out well in the end!

@Doubledoorsontogarden he's like a 16 year old girl when it comes to drama, absolutely loves it, and you're totally correct in your assumptions!

Just to blow some more smoke out my arse - I've hit 5 stone weight loss! I've now lost a third of my body weight. Feeling fucking great [/quote]
Buzzing for you well done! 👏🏼👏🏼

@Driftgames, that's amazing. Well done!!!

@Amdone123 @MrsN85 thank you both so much. I honestly feel like a new woman, but take me back 4 months and without the support from all of you brilliant people, I wouldn't be where I am now!

[quote DriftGames]**@Amdone123* @MrsN85* thank you both so much. I honestly feel like a new woman, but take me back 4 months and without the support from all of you brilliant people, I wouldn't be where I am now! [/quote]
You've done this all by yourself, you need to give yourself a good strong pat on the back and cheers to yourself with a gin! Xx

So exDH has told me he's seeing someone. I found it really painful to hear.. why? I know he's a POS and I know we are so much better without him, and I've actually been chatting to someone I really like, but this really has knocked me for six. Any words of advice? I just keep picturing him out with another woman and it hurts.

Having a big wobble.

It probably hurts because you’re still doing the lion’s share of parenting while he skips about doing whatever he wants.
You keep on keeping on, you’ve come so far in these last few months.

It hurts because despite him being w@£&er you will have some good memories and he’s the reason you’re a Mammy BUT he’s not the reason you’re an amazing, strong, beautiful example to your daughter. I think a person would have to be made of stone not to feel some discomfort at hearing the news you have, but I promise it’ll pass and eventually you’ll see again, and again, why it’s better for you didn’t work out and you’re miles better off. Lots of love to you darling. Xx

@MrsN85 @EsmeGythaMagrat thank you both! I think I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for it but also thinking it's never actually going to happen. We're just coming out of our isolation as I tested positive for covid so I think I'm just having a moment!!

@DriftGames aww bless you hope you're feeling ok xx

Excited for you that you've been msging someone, nice to get those butterfly's again. You enjoy it! Still rooting for you huni xx