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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How would you feel if your partner said this to you?

152 replies

Bloodyfuckit · 19/04/2021 22:34

Lying in bed, cuddled up. I said, you smell nice. He said, do I. I said yes, have you put something on? He said yes, I put some aftershave on this morning......for the nurses (he had his jab today). How would you feel about this comment?

OP posts:
TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 19/04/2021 22:36

Was he just teasing? Maybe he has BO and didn't want them catching a whiff. I wouldn't be arsed tbh.

mooonstone · 19/04/2021 22:37

I wear perfume everyday (as does DP) so this wouldn’t be a big deal for me.

I mean, it’s just personal grooming, it’s not like he’s trying to date one of the nurses. They have already forgotten he exists.

Spritesobright · 19/04/2021 22:38

I would assume he was joking? Clearly a covid vaccination centre isn't the best place to find a date.

Bloodyfuckit · 19/04/2021 22:38

He meant he was trying to impress all the sexy young nurses basically.

OP posts:
MeadowLines · 19/04/2021 22:39

This comment alone, I would let go. But if he was generally an arse and made comments along this line in general then he really wouldn't be the type of person Id want to spend any time with really

DDIJ · 19/04/2021 22:40

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Bloodyfuckit · 19/04/2021 22:40

@Spritesobright

I would assume he was joking? Clearly a covid vaccination centre isn't the best place to find a date.
Yes, he was joking and said as much but am I supposed to find it funny that I give him a nice complement and he quips that he put aftershave on to impress nurses.
OP posts:
Trisolaris · 19/04/2021 22:40

I’d probably make a lighthearted comment about remembering the days when he used to do that for me rather than medical staff. He would then say something cheesy about how everything he does is for me. So I’d tell him in that case I’d expect to smell the aftershave more often as I liked it!

AtrociousCircumstance · 19/04/2021 22:41

Did he not just mean he knew strangers would be up close and personal and he wanted to smell ok?

Or is he a sleazy douche?

Orchidflower1 · 19/04/2021 22:41

Was he wanting to just smell nice as he was going somewhere?

Was he joking?

Is there more to this that you aren’t saying?

bloodywhitecat · 19/04/2021 22:41

I'd be ambivalent about it, are there other things worrying you in the relationship? I often put on perfume if I am going to somewhere like an appointment but don't wear it day-to-day.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/04/2021 22:42

Were there sexy young nurses? How did he know they’d be there? I didn’t see anyone sexy when I had my jab.

DH put aftershave on the other day to go to Asda. He rarely has an excuse and it seemed like a good idea at the time. He smelled lovely so I didn’t complain.

Shit. Maybe he was hoping to impress sexy Asda staff. I’ll get my ducks in a row just in case.

SaveWaterDrinkGin · 19/04/2021 22:42

*Did he not just mean he knew strangers would be up close and personal and he wanted to smell ok?

Or is he a sleazy douche?*

This. Context is everything here.

Bloodyfuckit · 19/04/2021 22:42

@AtrociousCircumstance

Did he not just mean he knew strangers would be up close and personal and he wanted to smell ok?

Or is he a sleazy douche?

He meant it in a sleazy way.
OP posts:
BeetyAxe · 19/04/2021 22:43

I would just think haha plonker it would take more than aftershave to impress with a face like yours! And then roll over and go to sleep.

Operasinger · 19/04/2021 22:43

If my DH said it, it would be hilarious. It all depends on context and who said it.

Elieza · 19/04/2021 22:43

He was joking.

I’d have retorted Yeah I did that too for the hot doctors. Grin

stitchinguru · 19/04/2021 22:44

I would certainly have laughed this off. However, if he generally makes you feel insecure, that needs addressing.

Bloodyfuckit · 19/04/2021 22:44

@AnneLovesGilbert

Were there sexy young nurses? How did he know they’d be there? I didn’t see anyone sexy when I had my jab.

DH put aftershave on the other day to go to Asda. He rarely has an excuse and it seemed like a good idea at the time. He smelled lovely so I didn’t complain.

Shit. Maybe he was hoping to impress sexy Asda staff. I’ll get my ducks in a row just in case.

There will just have been medical staff there but in his mind, nurses is synonymous with sexy young women in sexy outfits that you want to impress.
OP posts:
romdowa · 19/04/2021 22:44

I'd probably have laughed and told him the nurses have enough problems now without him 😂😂

Norwolf · 19/04/2021 22:45

Op you said he was joking...

Learn how to take a joke ffs, its never that serious. Your making a huge deal out of nothing and sound draining.

Justmuddlingalong · 19/04/2021 22:46

Do you have trust issues with him? Does he play on any insecurities you might have?

Bloodyfuckit · 19/04/2021 22:46

@Orchidflower1

Was he wanting to just smell nice as he was going somewhere?

Was he joking?

Is there more to this that you aren’t saying?

Not more to this comment but there are other things getting right on my nerves. Like the constant stream of shared porn pictures on his friends WhatsApp group.
OP posts:
mooonstone · 19/04/2021 22:46

sexy young nurses

No offence but nurses are anything but sexy at the moment. They’re tired, overworked, underpaid, dealing with masks ruining their skin, on their feet all day in unflattering clothes/shoes etc. Most aren’t young either.

If he made that comment, I can see why you’d raise an eyebrow. But if it’s just something you said, that’s weird. Imagine being insecure at the thought of a nurse giving your partner a vaccine

loveyoudoll · 19/04/2021 22:46

I'd have laughed it off because I know my partner and whilst we joke around most of the time, I also know he's not sleazy.

If I was with someone who made comments about or ogled women or didn't trust him then it might bother me. Honestly though, I wouldn't be with someone like that.

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