Dating Thread 202: Here's hoping the lockdown loneliness and longing eases up soon...

[SpringlikeBunk]

Come ye all!

Quick update from me - things going well with Mr hair. Have seen him a few times now, facetime at bedtime most nights, messaging good and had a few kisses 😁

I think I want to concentrate on him now and not pursue things with Mr non committal who has upped interest typically as mine has waned. I have a date scheduled in with him next weekend but think I will send a message ducking out. Need to go back a few pages to find the posts about letting down nicely but being honest about pursuing other things I think

@WeWantTheFinestWines Tinder is so desperate to get me hooked up, they're now showing me profiles from 10,000 km away! Clearly, I have exhausted the eligible female population in London, the UK and Europe, so they've decided to open me up to the opposite side of the globe too.

I wouldn't be surprised if my next like comes from the planet Alpha Centauri.

@BelladiMamma

Indeed - why oh why the car pic?!

I'm taking a break from the apps to focus on Mr Bear for the moment. All the signs are good and we've had the exclusive conversation. I've told my other 2 irons who weren't really in a position to commit anyway. They've sent lovely messages back so I'm leaving with a clear conscience. Let's see how it goes ...

@BelladiMamma🤞🏻❤️😘

I'm taking a break from the apps too. I want to focus on Mr Bookworm for the moment, as things are going quite well. 👍🏻 I'm also quite busy with college stuff at the moment so I think it'll be good to take a break for a bit. ❤️

What are the ‘I love you rules?’

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Myfabby he sounds like a keeper! 🤮

Dancer how inappropriate. He's game planning and almost negging you after one date - doesn't sounds promising, sadly.

onwards nice positive one from you - always lovely to hear.

I was just reading in the paper about whether or not to pay for the apps. I think the answer is not. I'll see if there's a link I can post.

I'm 'chatting' to one iron at the moment - Mr Nature. He sends me a photo of the beautiful nature he is surrounded by, probably weekly. He's elsewhere and due to be in my neck of the woods 'in a few weeks', so maybe we'll meet up then, although it seems unlikely. In the meantime I'll enjoy the photos, shoot one back at him occasionally and not bother any further with it. I'm much more focused on a potential solution to still living with my ex, that would result in me being child free every other week. Then I would actually be able to date.

Cheers, @WeWantTheFinestWines ❤️

Good idea with coming off the apps @BelladiMamma and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Seems quite distracting to be matching/chatting with new irons rather than giving the ones you’ve got a few weeks to see how it pans out

@LongtimelurkerL

That’s fairly personal to everyone - is it worth starting with something like “I have strong feelings for you/am emotionally falling for you”? But it’s awkward af (for me, anyway!)

Re: the guardian article, in general newspaper articles are just set up to be controversial and make snide comments and make people feel insecure?

As that gets more reads and advertising revenue.

So there’s allegedly some “grade A” daters who don’t struggle with meeting people and grade “D” people who need to pay?

That’s nonsense - a lot of conventionally attractive people struggle with dating and a lot of fairly regular folks do fine with dating.

Also people aren’t emotional monoliths - I think we all have some months where we’re all chilled out and independent and happy being single and some months where we’re like “I need love and connection or I’ll die and I want two dates a week”

It’s just part of the emotional fabric of being a human being.

Plus if I had lots of spare cash and time (I don’t) overall I feel I get enough serious interest

but yeh I would sometimes want to “streamline” the dating app process a bit rather than swipe through Deans.

[quote TheCatWithTheHat]@WeWantTheFinestWines Tinder is so desperate to get me hooked up, they're now showing me profiles from 10,000 km away! Clearly, I have exhausted the eligible female population in London, the UK and Europe, so they've decided to open me up to the opposite side of the globe too.

I wouldn't be surprised if my next like comes from the planet Alpha Centauri.[/quote]
🤣🤣🤣

Hey, just an update.
I've a few chats on the go, not heavily investing until I've met them, I've got 2 initial meets/date zeros planned this week.

I'm just not investing in Mr HT, I'm not trying to chat. He liked my FB post today that's all since about Wednesday. I'm going to be unavailable the next time he messages. If he wants to talk about it. I'll say, we do this or we don't, no half measures. Otherwise I'm trying to check out mentally. It's a fucking shame but you know, that's life and dating.

@LongtimelurkerL are you trying to tell your iron you love himzm

@cravingthelook

Hey, just an update. I've a few chats on the go, not heavily investing until I've met them, I've got 2 initial meets/date zeros planned this week.

I'm just not investing in Mr HT, I'm not trying to chat. He liked my FB post today that's all since about Wednesday. I'm going to be unavailable the next time he messages. If he wants to talk about it. I'll say, we do this or we don't, no half measures. Otherwise I'm trying to check out mentally. It's a fucking shame but you know, that's life and dating.

@cravingthelook

[quote TheCatWithTheHat]@WeWantTheFinestWines Tinder is so desperate to get me hooked up, they're now showing me profiles from 10,000 km away! Clearly, I have exhausted the eligible female population in London, the UK and Europe, so they've decided to open me up to the opposite side of the globe too.

I wouldn't be surprised if my next like comes from the planet Alpha Centauri.[/quote]
🤣 loving the way you articulated this 🤣

Sorry to hear @cravingthelook

Thanks @SortingItOut - thinking about it yes @Eesha - not sure about the boy/girl rules

Sorry @SpringlikeBunk not sorting

@LongtimelurkerL What vibes are you getting from him?
Do you think saying it might scare him off?
Is it definitely love or just lots of oxytocin flying around after you've seen him?

I agree with Spring, everyone goes at their own pace, I'm 19 months in and not said it to Mr K and he's not said it to me.
I'm not even sure I believe in love. I've told Mr K I like him a lot.

I made a new thread as we're getting full over here, I'm useless at clicky links but here goes www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4228786-Dating-Thread-203-Love-is-in-the-air?watched=1&msgid=106816333#106816333

Hey everyone. Can I just ask a quick question?

I've been speaking to a guy for three weeks pretty solidly every day, it's got quite intense from time to time. We've got plans to meet soon. Is it ever okay to ask if they're also speaking to anyone else? That just comes off as possessive doesn't it? Even if it was said in a very casual way?

Ah, I'll repost that in the new thread