I had a fight a week ago and my friend had fallen out with me about it. I was out with her and another close friend and saw a girl I didn’t like. I was very drunk and approached the girl I didn’t like we exchanged some words and I ended up hitting her. I got another innocent girl involved. I am a completely different person when I am drunk and often I black out. I regret the situation so much and it’s not the type of person I want to be.
Before this happened we were having a really good time at the park, everyone was drinking and having fun. This isn’t the first time I’ve ruined a night out by getting too drunk and also I’ve had a fight before that the same friend has witnessed.
we spoke the next day, I was a mess and told her how sorry I was and that I didn’t want to fall out about it. She is one of my closest friends, we normally FaceTime everyday and speak about anything. We trust each-other strongly and laugh all the time about stupid things. She is one of my best friends and she’s a good friend at that.
When we spoke the next day I said ‘we are still friends right’ and she said she needs to think about it, she said ‘if I can’t go out drinking with you what’s the point of being friends’. We always say ‘love you’ at the end of our calls but she didn’t say it back, we joke about it all the time as I don’t let her leave until she says it, she sometimes doesn’t say it to wind me up but then she rings me back, this time she just didn’t say it and just said bye. It’s a little thing but it does mean a lot.
I just don’t want this friendship to end, I have always been there for her and been a good trustworthy friend, like I said we laugh all the time. She hasn’t messaged me since that FaceTime call, I messaged her to say happy Easter and we spoke briefly about a boy that messaged me, but she hasn’t reached out since she ignored my happy Easter message.
I also haven’t reached out to her as I don’t want to be needy and beg for a friendship. It would be a real shame for us to fall out. I know I fucked up and got black out drunk and embarrassed her in front of people, but I didn’t hurt her, she wasn’t friends with the girls involved either. I don’t want to be like that and start fights but she knew how awful I felt after and hasn’t contacted me since - I do feel a bit disappointed that she hasn’t messaged me... if any of my close friends got into a fight or got too drunk etc, I would still be there friend and support them? Yes it’s happened a few times but friends are supposed to stick by eachother aren’t they?
I feel like a lot of it comes down to her image and how I make her look, she cares a lot about being popular and liked. Maybe she doesn’t want me to be associated with me and that’s hard to deal with. People still like me I just have a few enemies right now.
I’ve beaten myself up a lot and cried constantly about what I did, I don’t want to play the victim and feel sorry for myself bcos I know I am massively in the wrong, but I just don’t need my friends to make me feel even worst.
I don’t know what to do, should I reach out to her and see how she feels about me? Or should I leave her to contact me?
We also work together and will be back to work on the 14th, I don’t think it’d be awkward as there’s a lot of people at work. But I want to know where I stand with her. I don’t know man.