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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Surviving infidelity

624 replies

sal1223 · 27/03/2021 10:40

Hey all - I posted a month or so ago after husband confessed to a one night stand 3 years ago. I was 100% certain that he'd be out the door if anything like that ever happened and then now it has I've felt differently and haven't kicked him out (probably different story if we didn't have children) . I don't think you know until it happens to you personally , honestly I'm shocked at myself ! he's expressed deep remorse and hates himself for what he did - says he told me as couldn't lie any longer it was affecting his mental health and that he'll do whatever it takes to keep us together.
Anyway it's been really up and down since , I'm ok one minute then a mess the next thinking about what he did and playing it out in my head . The hysterical bonding lasted 2 weeks and was a total mind f*ck (for lack of a better word) for both of us - as at the moment I'm not interested in getting intimate at all!
What I'm asking is - has anyone in my position actually moved on successfully and 'survived infidelity' ??
everyones circumstances are different - if it had been a long affair with lots of cloak and dagger I don't think I could give him another chance, as a one off I'm trying. Has anyone else been in my position and come out the other side happily married ? Sounds silly writing it down but that's what I'm asking - I read somewhere only 16% of marriages survive infidelity
Much love and thanks

OP posts:
Lovedove · 28/03/2021 11:46

It really is just a time thing then and seeing if (with work colleague peer pressure) he doesn’t get drunk and comes back on time etc if he’s able to keep that up - I’m sure it will help to build the trust. Obviously, it will be hard and you’ll worry when he’s out that he breaks the agreement not to drink too much etc It’s all very stressful and I really empathise. It’s why I couldn’t do it. My dh did something very small ( texting an ex when we were dating at two months) there was nothing romantic in the texts but he lied about contacting her. That alone has really dented my trust and I struggle all the time with it, even years later!
That’s why I know if it was an actual sex or affair thing I’d be gone. It’s as much how it would torture and change me & I couldn’t live like that.

Mn753 · 28/03/2021 11:46

I guess the question is, can you still make each other happy, and can you see a future together? From your posts I can't see why not.

sal1223 · 28/03/2021 11:50

Yes only time will tell when life hours back to normal - he's said he wants to be with us he wants to be home and if he does go on any works do's then he won't drink - we'll see

OP posts:
sal1223 · 28/03/2021 11:52

I think he believes me that I will absolutely check out of this marriage if there's any shitty behaviour again, this is a turning point in our marriage it's make or break . I've said before that whatever the outcome - I will ultimately be happy , if we stay and he does what he says he'll do I'll be happy , if he doesn't and we divorce then I'll also be happy .

OP posts:
sal1223 · 28/03/2021 11:55

It's all literally ready to go if we do split - which I am mentally prepared for

OP posts:
Faith50 · 28/03/2021 11:56

Sal1223
So if your friend's husband was not caught, he could still be seeing ow. It could in fact have gone on for a year or two.

Marshmallow
I completely agree. We can put so much emphasis on ow/om. I certainly did and gave them far too much due. I wracked my brain trying to understand what was so special about them. Absolutely nothing! They were there at the time and available - that is all. They too had a void and were trying to meet a need by lapping up crumbs by someone who was taken.

MarshmallowAra · 28/03/2021 11:57

[quote sal1223]@MarshmallowAra he was bringing a lot of unfair awful shit to the relationship - now he's confessed he says a weights been lifted and he wants to be a better man etc etc , I've chosen to give him another chance and will walk away at the first sign of any previous behaviour [/quote]
I'm not trying to be offensive or horrible in any way op, I'm just being honest when j sag they I bet you thought you'd have walked away if he cheated on you.

It's easy to become a boiler frog.

It sounds like he's pushing the bar lower and lower.

I think many people would have their fights that he's going to become a "better man" and the apparent issues with alcohol (& drugs?) and now the infidelity are going to resolve themselves.

Anyway it's a weight off his shoulders .... That doesn't sound selfish or potentially narcissistic at all.

MarshmallowAra · 28/03/2021 11:57

(boiled frog obviously).

sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:01

@Faith50 no she wouldn't know if she hadn't found out by chance
@MarshmallowAra the bars been pushed as low as it can go - I know you're not trying to offend but I'm not stupid and will absolutely not become the boiled frog

OP posts:
sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:02

He's doing everything he can and has been amazing with me and the kids since he told me - and so he should but the real test is if the effort and commitment to us continues - if it doesn't then I'm gone 👋

OP posts:
MarshmallowAra · 28/03/2021 12:12

You say he "was" bringing unacceptable and unfair behaviour into your marriage etc. but the drinking etc is yet to be seen (whether it's resolved) and the infidelity will be ongoing as a source of hurt, betrayal, mistrust, anger, bitterness etc.for possibly a long time ... So it seems like it's not "was".

That was so saddening when you talked about this man who'd watched your kids draw their first breath doing this ... I'm sorry he's done this to you op.

I know it sounds black and white bit it truly seems like people who act like this, all excuses aside, have no real decency or honour.

If it was a get-out affair/ONS and was accompanied by them saying they were sorry, but they wanted out/thought you should separate etc. - in a way it would reflect less badly on them.

MiddleAgedLurker · 28/03/2021 12:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the OP's request.

MarshmallowAra · 28/03/2021 12:19

It's just conjecture on my part but I think you have a man, and there is no shortage of them, who has chosen to go the traditional, standard route of wife & kids; but who is actually unsuited to it/unhappy in it/inadequate for it, especially wit particular stresses like the disability issue (whatever he says about wanting to be a better man and continued in your marriage & family)

.... And that is leaking out in all sorts of ways like substance abuse and cheating.

There seem.yo be so many men who are not really marriage & family man material but who get into and stay in those institutions because it's the norm, it has advantages, they can't admit to themselves they're not "good" enough to do it and do it fairly.
It seems like maybe he's one if those and your choices are to get out or continue martyering yourself and accepting things you'd have thought were unacceptable.

sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:19

@MarshmallowAra thanks and yes it hurts like hell , he doesn't want out he wants to try and make it work and there's a part of me that does too so I am in the position of 'wait and see'

@MiddleAgedLurker thank you for your reply , it is useful to hear other people experience and results

OP posts:
sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:22

@MarshmallowAra up until this incident he has been a family man, we had 15 good years before this happened . I'm not going to accept anything less that what me and the kids deserve moving forward and since telling me he has been tying

OP posts:
sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:22

*trying

OP posts:
sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:28

'It seems like maybe he's one if those and your choices are to get out or continue martyering yourself and accepting things you'd have thought were unacceptable'

I don't think the above is true , those are not my choices - I have the choice to give him another chance and change the behaviours that have cause the problems - I am not and have not been martyring myself

OP posts:
RomeWasBuiltInADay · 28/03/2021 12:30

Sorry you're going through this OP.

Years ago, when my son was first born, my (now ex) husband had a one night stand. He came home disheveled looking, he was on a night out with some friends. He came home very late, wedding ring missing. The idiot. I knew, but just went back to bed. He never admitted it but a friend told me what happened. Anyway, I wasn't happy, but looking back I wasn't bothered enough, if that makes sense.
I stayed and we did split up about 10 years later, for other reasons.

Reading how you feel, you love your husband, it sounds like there's enough there, for you, to give it a try. You're hurt, whereas I really wasn't. And if that's how you feel, then maybe there's enough to try to save, if that's what you really want.

Or, give yourself some time and see how it goes over time.

Re the OW. Hell yes, there's always plenty of anger to go round for her. It doesn't detract from the infinite rage your husband deserves. She's trash, they always are.

sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:32

@RomeWasBuiltInADay thanks x
If I didn't truly believe he was sorry and deeply regrets it then I couldn't even try to get past this

OP posts:
Faith50 · 28/03/2021 12:49

Romewasbuiltinaday
Do you know why you were not bothered?

My pride was hit the most when I discovered. It was more of the humiliation than undying love for my h. At first I believed he felt he was better than me and deserved more than me. This gave me great rage. I now realise he saw himself as less than me but unfortunately I care very little. He wants to be lovey dovey and I do not.

MarshmallowAra · 28/03/2021 12:54

up until this incident he has been a family man, we had 15 good years before this happened..

How long have the issues with alcohol (and drugs?) been going on?

MarshmallowAra · 28/03/2021 12:56

I have the choice to give him another chance and change the behaviours that have cause the problems

He would have to change the behaviours that have caused the problems (if cheating can be termed as a problem) on his own. He might be better to have counselling on his own. It actually seems unfair that you should be taking part in counselling. It doesn't sound like you've done anything.

sal1223 · 28/03/2021 12:58

He's got a session on his own next week - the drink and drugs started when we received diagnosis

OP posts:
Seadad · 28/03/2021 13:00

OP - I've written elsewhere that just about everyone in a long term relationship can understand the temptation of a moment of infidelity- and just about no one on here has not crossed a line in small measure. And there are many many stories here of people who thought they could trust themselves, and allowed themselves to be drawn in. So who can say for sure what lines, when crossed mean what for who?

The single act of infidelity is so often compounded tenfold by the second third and fourth time - by arrangement! And by the lies, the deception, the cunning tricks, the denials when confronted, the gas lighting, the accusations of paranoia and mental torture meted out by the unfaithful partner to conceal the affair.

What you've described doesn't involve those horrible hideous traumas that leave someone destroyed. Instead what you've described reveals that your relationship and your DH is not immune from infidelity in the right circumstances. And in truth, I'm not sure many are - especially over a long marriage. It's just that circumstances don't usually create that perfect storm. I suspect that is where your anger is towards the OW - because she created that circumstance - that perfect storm?

So ...for the woman who got drunk at the bar after her husband left the hotel a day early after a blazing row, who had the attention of a beautiful stranger who said all the right things when she felt vulnerable.....who can say? Only that the amazing stranger usually never appears!

If the same stranger appeared in the the supermarket three weeks later perhaps they exchange a glance at the checkout that let her know she was still attractive - and that she keeps to herself.

What I'm saying OP is that what matters is how you feel about his infidelity- what is forgivable? Now you know he isn't immune and neither was your marriage. I think you either treat it as something to make better or give up on. Either one might be the right answer for you. It's enough to leave but it's not irreparable if you want to repair.

RomeWasBuiltInADay · 28/03/2021 13:04

@Faith50

Romewasbuiltinaday Do you know why you were not bothered?

My pride was hit the most when I discovered. It was more of the humiliation than undying love for my h. At first I believed he felt he was better than me and deserved more than me. This gave me great rage. I now realise he saw himself as less than me but unfortunately I care very little. He wants to be lovey dovey and I do not.

At the time I was young, in my 20's and looking back, I was going down a very traditional route. Marriage, to a family friend, children, the house. I was on a path I'd set out for myself. I did love him, but it was never a vulnerable love, one that could really hurt if he cheated.
I was bothered but just not enough. If I compare it to my current relationship, which I've been in for over 10 years, the feelings are so strong, and the relationship so good that I think , if it did happen now, I'd be devastated.