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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband had an affair

235 replies

BrokenBella · 26/03/2021 06:46

I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a colleague. No sex. But intimate kissing and real emotional connection. They have both said they love each other. She tried to break it off and my husband chased her and bought her expensive gifts to the value of £600!!

DDay was the worst day of my life (followed by many more unbearable days) I was completely blindsided. I though we were happy - yes this year has been tough juggling 2 jobs and 2 kids during a pandemic. But we are a team. We don’t fight, we don’t argue, we have good conversation and a good sex life.

We have been together 17 years, married for 7, childhood sweethearts. We have two gorgeous children aged 9 and 4. A beautiful home and a good life. We are in the best financial position we have ever been in and don’t really have many money worries.

So I really can’t get my head around it. He says he never went looking for it. It was a friendship that crossed a line. He has admitted he loves her and he ‘hates’ himself for it. He said he wants to work at our marriage, he still loves me and the life we have built together. I believed him. Let him back home after 10 days and we had a good couple weeks together. We were laughing an joking, intimate, making plans for the future and working through the rollercoaster of emotions we are currently going through.

But he has just admitted he is struggling with what he has done. He still has feelings for her and he needs some space to think. I am crushed.

I have been heartbroken but so reasonable and I now feel he has taken my kindness for weakness. He is now at his parents trying to get his head right. Even now he says he loves me and doesn’t want this to be the end. But I’m now starting to think that I can’t live with a man knowing he loves somebody else. It’s torture.

I desperately want to believe that he won’t walk away from me and our family. But in his eyes I see he is tortured. And my gut is telling me he has already checked out of our marriage but is just too afraid to say it.

Am I kidding myself at the thought of reconciliation here. I am making myself ill with the stress of if all. 😭

OP posts:
MinnieMous3 · 26/03/2021 21:16

Oh Bella 😢 nights are worse for everything aren’t they? The best piece of advice I’ve ever been given is don’t make any decisions or send any significant texts etc after 7pm, because you’ll regret them when you feel a bit better the next day!

At 5 weeks you’re in the worst bit, the shock is wearing off and you’ve got all the emotions crashing in.

Have you tried keeping a diary? It’s helpful to read back later to see how far you have come. It’s helped me through some tough times.

Lots of hot sweet drinks & read a light hearted book if you can keep the concentration up Brew

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 26/03/2021 21:27

Honestly the only thing that helped was no contact and time. Friends and family around you and try not to discuss it too much with them to wind you up even more.

It’s an awful time but honestly time heals

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 26/03/2021 21:28

Oh I just listened to watermelon by Marian Keyes it was so good !

oldshoeuk · 26/03/2021 21:42

This is fixable. It doesn't have to be the end if you both want to recover from this it's completely doable. Yes it's all shit, there isn't much good to say about it. But, if you both want to get this back on the rails you can.

Graffitiqueen · 26/03/2021 22:48

You need this website. Do the 180.

www.chumplady.com

MinnieMous3 · 26/03/2021 22:52

@oldshoeuk

This is fixable. It doesn't have to be the end if you both want to recover from this it's completely doable. Yes it's all shit, there isn't much good to say about it. But, if you both want to get this back on the rails you can.
Try reading the other thread at the moment about OW and having an ‘I told you so’ moment later down the line.

Every woman who stays with their husband always admits on here that she still obsesses over OW and that the trust never really came back.

Milliepossum · 27/03/2021 00:20

@oldshoeuk

This is fixable. It doesn't have to be the end if you both want to recover from this it's completely doable. Yes it's all shit, there isn't much good to say about it. But, if you both want to get this back on the rails you can.
He’s clearly a selfish asshole to the core with no regards to the consequences of his cheating on his spouse and children. He made everything the way it is by his numerous choices. This is not fixable. OP didn’t cheat, lie or spend family money on someone else. She doesn’t have to put herself last and play all the mind games that come with it so her spouse can continue in a comfortable life despite his crap character. OP deserves better than him.
Fabiofatshaft1 · 27/03/2021 00:52

I don’t think you realise how fantastic you are and how you are dealing with this awful ness. Yes, it’s unbelievably hard, and the pain is unquantifiable, BUT, you are moving forward, one day at a time.

As others have said, he hasn’t thrown everything away for a quick snog and a fumble, be assured, it’s a full blown affair.

It’s true, if he can visit the house, it’s his as much as yours. But whether you want him back or not, you have to start laying down markers.

Tell him if he is verbally abusive, you will call the police.

Tell him you are initiating a divorce on the grounds of his adultery.

Tell him you are going to get a shit hot woman lawyer who will rip him a new arsehole.

Tell him, he’s a two faced lying, cheating cunt and so is his mother ( His parents are obviously taking the cunts side ).

And finally tell him, you are no longer an option for him and eventually you’ll be joining several dating sites looking for a younger, better lover as he’s shit in bed !!!!

And other than the above, do not engage with him. Do not talk, argue, negotiate, beg, shout or answer any questions.

When he comes to visit the kids, go out and have a coffee with friends or go for a long walk or drive.

And get that solicitors letter delivered to his parents A.S.A.P.

And watch him crumble before your eyes.

Fabiofatshaft1 · 27/03/2021 00:57

When he’s on the edge of the bottomless abyss, only then will be realise your worth and what he’s about to lose.

Be strong.

Pantsomime · 27/03/2021 01:04

I couldn’t get past the breaking of my trust - it’s gone -therefore the relationship is gone too

Needhelp101 · 27/03/2021 01:07

I second getting thee to Chump Lady OP.
All I can say is that you WILL get through this. It seems impossible now but at some time in the future, you'll look back and think, why on earth did I waste so much time and emotion on an absolute fucking cockweasle?
I wish you all the strength Flowers

Onthedunes · 27/03/2021 01:29

@Fabiofatshaft1

Talks sense and is fabulous !

WallaceinAnderland · 27/03/2021 01:29

@BrokenBella

Can I legally make him move out though if the house is half his?

I am worried this will be a sticking point as his parents won’t want him for long and he won’t be able to afford a place on his own and pay me.

I know it’s not my problem!

I have made an enquiry with a solicitor to find out where I stand. I need to channel the anger and not succumb to the utter heartbreak of it all. 💔

No. You cannot legally make him move out of the house. You need to file for divorce and sell the house.
WisnaeMe · 27/03/2021 01:40

I'm so sorry OP 🌺

Midwife1997 · 27/03/2021 02:14

I believe you would be able to stay in your home with just your children until they are 16 or out of full time education. Then the house could be sold. Be strong, Bella (I won't refer to you as 'broken'). I know you feel broken now but that feeling won't last, believe me.

Midwife

AgentJohnson · 27/03/2021 06:54

Since I found out he has maintained that it is over between him and the OW; mutually over. And that he had cut all contact. But today he has admitted that he has reached out to her on the phone this week to vent/rant about the situation and to get advice from someone who ‘understands what he is going through’. He didn’t understand why I was horrified at this.

Still lying then but I guess it doesn’t count if it’s to his benefit. I understand why it’s difficult, the pathetic cruel creature he is now hasn’t been on the scene long and you desperately want the person he was before back. However, you can’t go back and the person he is now, is part of the person he was then, just better hidden.

I agree about taking some power back, right now he’s calling the shots and making the rules and he’s way too comfortable. Actions speak louder than words and him contacting the OW when he promised he wouldn’t, says an lawful lot. He’s given himself permission to lie and his so called remorse doesn’t include rescinding that permission. You can’t stop him behaving like he is.

This is who he is and it appears he has no compunction about stringing you along. He’s sorry but not sorry and you and your children deserve so much better.

Bluntness100 · 27/03/2021 07:00

I believe you would be able to stay in your home with just your children until they are 16 or out of full time education

This is total nonsense and I wish people would stop perpetuating this myth, ask any woman who is divorced and living somewhere small with her kids, because that’s all she can afford.

Bluntness100 · 27/03/2021 07:01

Op, it’s concerning you’re the main breadwinner. What can he afford on his own? It’s concerning as he may be struggling with the financials associated with leaving, and consider staying for the lifestyle. Would he be ok financially?

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 27/03/2021 07:08

Hi op like men since the beginning of time the going got tough and he got going!
He didnt fancy hanging around for more lockdown stress and homeschooling so drifted off to where he thought the grass was greener.
As usual the woman / mother is left with all the responsibility on her shoulders.
Sorry that sounds blunt but I hope you take some comfort in the fact that it happens all the time , it's not a reflection on you , and its nothing you have done wrong!
Take control, you got this x

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 27/03/2021 07:12

Oh and dont get me wrong divorce is brutal, like the well meaning pp upthread people told me all sorts of well meaning advice. It was all wrong. Get yourself a tough talking solicitor so you can get it all straight in your head . Strike first , so yo speak and remember you will come through it and you will be ok .any hardship you experience now is not your doing , its all on him for having an affair .
Tbh I'd cut contact with him unless its discussing the kids

customwatkins · 27/03/2021 07:16

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Please don't believe a word he tells you, with declarations of love like that they have definitely slept together.

Part of the attraction is the 'forbidden love' I'd remove that right now - tell him OW can have him, they no longer have to hide.

Don't let him tell you HE needs time, tell him YOU need time. You don't know of you still want him, don't know if you can live with a cheater etc.

He really needs to leave, and find a way to see his kids - for him to even suggest you leave the family home after he's done this to you shows what a selfish and uncaring man he is.

Seriously OP you will look back one day and be so grateful he's out your life, better things are waiting for you. He will look back on this as the biggest mistake he's ever made - losing his family.

Jaffacakeobsessed · 27/03/2021 07:23

Hard as it will be, say nothing to him. Go grey rock. He gets a calm, bland, factual response to anything he asks. Ranting at him will give him the chance to argue his point back. Retreat. Kill him with fake kindness. It’ll drive him nuts.

Tell him YOU need time to sort your head out and work through YOUR feelings, so you’d appreciate him taking the children out, so YOU can do this. Be calm, let him think he’s doing you a favour and being kind (he isn’t I know!) This buys you time to get your ducks in a row without him pecking your head. Stress you would never keep the children from him, why on earth would he think that? Etc. But this is best for them as they won’t see you both upset. Stress everything as what’s best for the children - as it should be of course. This is a good counter to anything ridiculous he thinks he’s entitled to do.

Contact his parents, pleasantly. Tell them you are having issues, he’s decided he’s moving out and needs to see the children at their house for the time being. Which is bubbly legal in the circumstances. Nothing more. They’ll work out the rest by his reaction when they question him.

Set up a personal bank account NOW and get next months salary going in there. Transfer back to joint for necessary bills. Take your half out of the savings before he clears the lot. If questioned, it’s just for now while you get your head clear.

Get legal advice ASAP both about divorce/finances and arrangements for the children. Ask around for a recommendation. Both of you have marital rights to the home, however establishing who is primary carer for DC and therefore who should occupy it with them will take care of this. Any time he wants access, and won’t be put off, grit your teeth, get a clear timeframe and remove yourself out of the way.

Tell and rely on parents, relatives, friends. Is your boss decent? Tell them discreetly. If you see or speak to his friends or family don’t lie, tell them, but keep it unemotional and the bare facts. It might seem as if they support him/stay neutral, but they’ll know he’s a shit, you don’t need to tell them. Stay off social media, temporarily describe accounts if you need to.

Call women’s aid or visit the website - they have loads of numbers for free legal advice too.

If he starts shouting and creating, film him / call the police/call his parents/a friend, stay calm.

All of the above is reversible if needed, but you can’t create a head start later.

Make a list of what he’s done and look at it when you weaken. When you’re mad, make the phone calls / arrangements above. When you feel overwhelmed, call a friend. Think about the advice you’d give a friend in this situation. Have lots of fun with DC. Exercise if you can - even just a walk out with the DC, fresh air helps. Eat/sleep whenever you can.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP. He is an utter shit. You’re grieving for what has been lost and the false image he created of himself. This is not your fault and will pass - you will come out the other side stronger and happier. Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat!

I’m going through something very similar and at a similar stage. Only he blindsided me by leaving before I’d realised anything was wrong and is saying he just doesn’t know what he wants and needs time - no mention of OW but I’m betting she’s lurking. I’m lining up my ducks now! And obvious, but the advice and support on here is brilliant, keep posting. Good luck xx

Iyiyi · 27/03/2021 07:41

@Bluntness100 I agree, you see it so often and it’s nonsense! I know when you get solicitors and courts involved, they explore ways to make this possible as it’s seen to be best for kids - my DP and his ex agreed a timeframe that would allow her to buy him out of the house - but you don’t have any right to just stay in it for years because of children!

PurpleFlower1983 · 27/03/2021 07:51

Just a small tip from my OP, write down the bad things he has done in a notebook. Include the angry words he has said and in your darkest times read them. Channel your emotions into anger at how you have been treated. He has lied and cheated and now expects you to roll over and do as he pleases? You are better than this, better than him. You can do this. You don’t want to feel second best, you deserve more.

Lozzerbmc · 27/03/2021 08:15

Im sorry to read this and it takes me back... you are going through a grief, good days, bad days, ok days its all normal. A grief for your marriage.

Im sorry to say I think he wants her but his guilt is troubling him.... he wants to talk you to her as she knows what it feels like? Give me a break! She’s a girl at home with her mum and dad!! .. he wants to know if it willl work with her... if not he’ll come back to you. Sorry to be blunt but I suspect this is the case.

Dont let him string you along make plans for divorce. Dont be with a man as second best.
Get some good legal advice as to where you stand. It will help you feel more in control. You deserve better.

(Look at paul mckennas book on mending a broken heart - has some good tips and exercises in it)

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