Ex is refusing to bring 19 month old son home!

[Notlong2go]

I posted a thread yesterday about how my ex is demanding to have our 4 and a half month old every weekend which I won’t agree to.
Today he picked up our 19 month old like usual and then later called me to tell me I won’t be getting him back until I take him to court or let him see our youngest.

So I have never refused to let him see any of the children but, I just don’t want him having our youngest overnight at this young age, especially when he has never spent any time alone with him.
He told me last night he was going to pick both children up and I told him it wouldn’t be possible to have my baby today and we would have to arrange something but, because of this he has said I am stopping him seeing his son so now refuses to bring our older son home!

This has made me even more certain I don’t trust him to take my baby away from my home alone!!

@SchadenfreudePersonified exactly this! He is very sneaky and intentionally turned up first thing in the morning to catch me.

hope you have news from Court soon 🌸

Save up for security. Even if he recognises you have it his mask will slip, especially when he feels aggravated (and then you can show it to SS and the police).

I personally wouldn't feel safe without it. We one camera above our front door and then a few dotted around the outside of our house. Ours was expensive but we did it before we had heard of Ring go.

John Lewis have one reduced online from £155 to £109. I understand that is a lot of money but yours and your children's safety is priority.

Could your PayPal pay for it in three instalments?

@Bumblebee1980a thank you I will look into this and certainly our safety is a priority.

Well I have received a text message today from children’s father asking for a message or something in writing saying why I am refusing access so he can show his solicitor.

You don't have to respond to that message

Don't respond.

Don't send any reply to that text message @Notlong2go.

Don't respond or interact with him anymore. Block his number. Only communicate through a solicitor. Ring the police if he turnes up at your door.

yeah I have just ignored it. So still waiting for my letter from the courts! IDVA were supposed to have contacted me on Monday and nothing from them. Still waiting on a reply from a solicitor. I’m sick of having to constantly chase these people up! Especially given the number of incidents since then.

“Thanks everyone. Well the social worker pretty much said they are concerned about my exes behaviour in front of the children and obviously me having a new partner has aggravated him for some reason (he seemed as though he was suggesting he has a valid reason).
SW then basically told me that if it’s going to aggravate him and i still want him to see the children then don’t have a partner.”

This is not the social works official advice. I’d ask to be moved to a new social worker, one that doesn’t blame women for the abuse they receive from men. I’ve never met a male social worker yet that gave a shit about either women or children.

how you getting on OP, have you had a response from anyone and everyone? I hope you're well and ignoring all requests from Ex to put anything in writing. 🌸

@WisnaeMe I have sorted a be solicitor out as a CLA advisor was taking forever to respond. I am still awaiting on the letter from the court but, if it has not been delivered tomorrow I will be giving them another call.
Social services apparently sent me a letter last Thursday for legal aid but, that’s still not come through either! Luckily I managed to get an emailed copy. I’m starting to wonder what’s happening to all this supposed mail I have been sent.
Oh and ex sent me another message afterwards to tell me that he will be asking the courts to stop partner from being around our children because according to him, he was violent in front of our kids.
Not the case at all, he restrained him after he barged his way into my home looking for a fight and kept his calm whilst my ex kept trying to provoke him.

No chance your ex has somehow set up a royal mail
Redirect in your name?

@RandomMess how would he do that?

it's actually very easy to redirect Mail, it's all done online via the Post Office website.

I suggest checking OP, have a look online etc.

If he has done this... then he would be in serious trouble, messing with Royal Mail is serious. 🌸

If you get your Legal Aid, please ask for a Barrister for court & don't accept a paralegal handling your case, insist on a solicitor. A Barrister will run rings round your ex & trip him up every time. As long as your new partner doesn't have a criminal record your ex can't prove anything.

Go to the post office that handles your post and ask if there is a redirect notice.

You would bet getting zero post if you had.

Panic over, I received my mail today other than the SS letter but, I have a digital copy anyway.

good OP, I was concerned tbh

Just wanted to update everybody.
I am still yet to get a hearing date as the court refused to put it through as urgent but, my solicitor said there will be a gateway hearing on the 4th of may if that’s what it’s called lol.
On the 20th of April there will be a hearing for a non molestation order but I must admit I am not confident that it will be granted as nothing seems to be taken seriously.

Thank you for the update op, at least some wheels are in motion. Has he seen either children since?

@Worldwide2 yes he has seen the children at his mothers home as I am not trying to disrupt our older sons life but, the verbal abuse still continues 😴
I’m just keeping a record of everything and remaining as cool headed as possible and attempting to communicate like an adult but it is like trying to talk to a child.
It is just one thing after another with ex, still refuses to pay child maintenance because he says he will be getting joint custody so won’t need to pay me. Demanding I hand over birth certificates so he can apply for passports and just causing any issue he can.
I honestly cannot wait to get this court hearing and get a legal agreement between us so I do not have to deal with him again!

He can easily get birth certificates from the Registry Office then apply for passports. If I were you, OP, I would get on and apply for the passports yourself and not tell him. He can't apply for duplicates unless he reports the originals stolen or lost. What does your solicitor advise?