Age gaps

[FlowersforMe]

What would you say is the largest socially acceptable age gap when dating/in a relationship?

16 years, that's my personal opinion, and also would depend on how old the youngest person was, I'd probably frown upon a 16 Yr old with a 32 year old..

Would it not also depend on level of maturity of both? Agree it very much depends on age of the youngest person. A 16 year old dating a much older person doesn't sit right with me at all.

@Kimbo1974

16 years, that's my personal opinion, and also would depend on how old the youngest person was, I'd probably frown upon a 16 Yr old with a 32 year old..

You'd only "probably frown upon" child abuse? Right.

A 16 year old dating a much older person doesn't sit right with me at all.

A 16 year old can't "date" a much older person, only be abused by them.

"you divide your age by two and then add seven to calculate the "socially acceptable" minimum age for a partner."

Allegedly.

Yea totally agree flowers, I was 27 when I met husband 40 and we were on the same level, have you fallen for someone much older and are worried?

I feel 10 yrs is the largest I would do. But I’ve seen larger ones work just fine. Depends on the personalities of the partners.

DH was 22 years older than me. We met when I was 20. We were really happy together. You will also get lots of people on here putting scorn on stories like mine and saying that it's naive or we are kidding ourselves. Opinions are like arseholes - everyone has one, and everyone else's stinks except for your own.

I always thought about 15 years however, I know of someone who met her husband when she was 37 and he was 52. Everything was fine then, however, she is now 55 and he is 70 and they are in totally different stages of their lives now. Prior to COVID things were starting to take a toll on their relationship, she was wanting to go out every weekend for dinner, drinks, he wasn’t wanting to do that. He was looking to slow down. They can’t even mix with each other’s friends as his are near his age and her are near her age.

All situations are different. You can't help who you fall in love with. As long as you are both happy what does it matter? Personally I don't have a problem with big age gaps. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

My ex husband was 12 years older than me. I was with him from 18 until i was 31. I grew up and we wanted different things.
My current partner is 21years older than me.
I'm 34 and he's 55. No body has batted a eyelid or said anything. We are very happy.
Age is but a number my partner now is very chilled and settled in our life and we are in a happy place.

I know a 61 year old who married a 30 year old, I actually think there's something a bit odd about that especially as they now have a child (from the perspective of the father might not live to see his child reach maturity, for instance). I'm sure there are many who will tell me I'm wrong and it can work, and that it depends upon the relationship....which I guess is true.

However, my daughter is also 30 and if she came to tell me she was dating a 61 year old, balding bloke I'd really be quite worried...

Its just a guide but I plan to advise my children not to go more than a decade in either direction.
A shared reference from childhood/adolescence is, imo a good thing.

I once dated a man born in 1965, I was born in 1983. When he met my mum and they started reminiscing about old TV programmes and music it made my vagima dry up, we didn't last long after that.

My DH was born in 1990 and I won't say a shared love of trap door and pokemon cemented our relationship but it didn't hurt either.

My first partner was 41 when I was 17 and we were together 12 years, and my husband is 20 years older and we've been married 16 years this year, Both very happy relationships, especially my marriage now. I don't think age matters at all!

I think it depends on the ages of the individuals and what they want from it. Are you looking for fun dating, days out, sex, restaurants and maybe a little holiday or a long term serious relationship.

I’m early 40s and been with someone about 15 years younger and someone about 10 years older. All have been good.

But there was someone on AIBU who had a daughter around 17 or so who was seeing someone much older. That would ring alarm bells.

I think I agree with the 16 figure. For me it starts to feel a bit sleazy when one partner is old enough to be the others parent or when one partner has kids the other isn't old enough to be the parent of.

Spend what's important to the individuals.

I personally couldn't date anyone older who parents were significantly older than my own. I wanted my children to have grandparents and parents for as a long as possible and if someone parents were always my grandparents age it just put me off.

To me being from the same generation was also important, the connection I have with my DP who lived through what I lived through from music to fads to clothes. I love it.

Also whilst never knowing what life has in store health wise, I couldn't imagine knowingly choosing a dp and a father to my children who would potentially die a good 10-15 years ahead of me just because they were older.

Needless to say my my DP is the same age as me.

I always thought about 15 years however, I know of someone who met her husband when she was 37 and he was 52. Everything was fine then, however, she is now 55 and he is 70 and they are in totally different stages of their lives now.

This is the issue for me too. You can date / sleep with / have fun with adults of all ages - well I know I can, anyway - but this would worry me and I see it play out with friends.

There are 9 years between me and DP, been together 11 years. I was 16 when we got together so I wouldn't have gone any older than that.

Mine is older, 20 years older. We have been together a very long time and yes, he isn't the same man I met in his 40s, but equally I'm not the same woman he met in her 20s. He became disabled in his 50s though so that was a life changer in terms of what we can do, that and the fact 2 of our children are autistic, so neither factor relevant in terms of age gap as they would be just as restrictive had he been the same age as me.

@Bubbles1st

Spend what's important to the individuals.

I personally couldn't date anyone older who parents were significantly older than my own. I wanted my children to have grandparents and parents for as a long as possible and if someone parents were always my grandparents age it just put me off.

To me being from the same generation was also important, the connection I have with my DP who lived through what I lived through from music to fads to clothes. I love it.

Also whilst never knowing what life has in store health wise, I couldn't imagine knowingly choosing a dp and a father to my children who would potentially die a good 10-15 years ahead of me just because they were older.

Needless to say my my DP is the same age as me.

I meant depends 🤦🏼‍♀️

5 to 6 years for me. I had my 3 daughters quite

Ours is 15 years. I'm mid 40s, he's late 50s (no children), works for us. Been together 10 years. I'm in worse health than he is.

23 years.

16-17 a year or two
18-20 two or three
21-24 four or five
25+ I'd say maybe 15 ISH but there's obv exceptions

As yes some one will come on and post "I was 15 when I met my 39 to bf but I was always the one in control and he waited until I was 16 to have sex so that's ok" but it isn't. It's about power. You think you're powerful at 16 but you aren't.

These threads will always have ‘I was 17 and he was 40 and we are so happy’ tbf why is a man of 30+ going after a teenager? likely he can’t maintain a relationship with an adult his own age.