Age gaps

[FlowersforMe]

What would you say is the largest socially acceptable age gap when dating/in a relationship?

activity it is not always easy for women to walk away from relationships they have committed a lot to. That’s not being silly. There are many reasons. She says herself she was young and in love. But now sees things differently but didn’t have the life experience to understand the choices she was making. Whereas her much older partner did.
And for you to call her ‘silly’ because of her naivety as a 25 year old is rude and insulting.

I’m going to retire from this thread. There was no offence intended. Just difference of opinions.

it is not always easy for women to walk away from relationships they have committed a lot to.

Oh. Thanks. I didn't know this

That’s not being silly. There are many reasons. She says herself she was young and in love. But now sees things differently but didn’t have the life experience to understand the choices she was making. Whereas her much older partner did.

And here you continue to assume women cannot make good choices and the man should be responsible for that- can you not see it?

And for you to call her ‘silly’ because of her naivety as a 25 year old is rude and insulting.

Naive is ok, but silly isn't?

You really do sound angry activity just because one person has an opinion different to yours.

DH is around 10 years older than me.

I liked it when we were younger. He was sensible, mature, kind.

Now he's late 50s, it's fucking horrific. He has turned into Victor Meldrew and it's not remotely comical.

Op, are you older than your partner? I think there are a different set of potential issues when the woman is the older partner but really only if they both want children.

I am older than my husband by 8 years. It took compromise on both sides but we have been together for 19 years and have a very happy relationship and family. We have had a load of shit happen but because we are very compatible, we have always been 100% rock solid.

I think some relationships are not as strong and in this instance, an age gap can cause splits. But if a couple is really well suited and are both nice people, it should all be smooth. Look at the late, great Barbara Window and her husband - a match made in heaven.

@Uptonogoodtoo

You really do sound angry activity just because one person has an opinion different to yours.

I have already told you I am not angry, yet here you are presuming to know me better than I know myself. It's been a constant throughout the thread so I'm not surprised. All you have done is prove my point though.

activity it must just be me misinterpreting your style of writing then. But it comes across as quite aggressive.

@missbridgerton

DH is around 10 years older than me.

I liked it when we were younger. He was sensible, mature, kind.

Now he's late 50s, it's fucking horrific. He has turned into Victor Meldrew and it's not remotely comical.

I'm sorry you're unhappy MissB

If you'd met his equivalent 5 years younger do you think you'd find him any less tedious in 5/10 years time? Sometimes there's just a disparity in how we age.

Does being late 40s make it easier for you to think about leaving and starting again than of you were late 50s?

@Uptonogoodtoo

activity it must just be me misinterpreting your style of writing then. But it comes across as quite aggressive.

Of course it does.

You think I am angry, I tell you I am not. You tell me again I am angry, again I tell you I am not. You call me aggressive

I'm not the problem here. Not even close. But crack on....

activity I get the impression you’ll have no problem standing up to an older man and ensuring everything is equal. Good for you.

Or indeed any man.

My last DP was 57 and I was 40 at the time. It wasn't an issue despite the fact he had a fighter not that much younger than me but I imagine as he aged or would become more apparent. Tbf he was fitter and more active than I've ever been. It depends a lot on life stages etc

@Uptonogoodtoo

activity I get the impression you’ll have no problem standing up to an older man and ensuring everything is equal. Good for you.

I don't need to 'stand up to' my DH. Like I said previously, he is a good respectful man. There is not a chance I would spend any time with a man I felt I had to 'stand up to'

You genuinely feel your ideas of relationships in general is an issue here, the assumptions you make about the balance between men and women is really odd.

midnight I think at 40, we are more informed to make decisions. We have lived a life before to some extent.

*I feel

activity what are the ages of you and your partner? How long have you been together?

I would argue that a 15 year age gap is hardly old enough to be your father. I have a 15 year age gap and my husbands parents are 65, my parents are 60 and 66. He’s definitely not in the potential father bracket.

@Uptonogoodtoo yea I definitely agree. That's why I mentioned kids stages. If I'd had been 15 years younger or older I think that age difference would be a lot more significant.

@Uptonogoodtoo

activity what are the ages of you and your partner? How long have you been together?

From my post on Thursday

Mine is older, 20 years older. We have been together a very long time and yes, he isn't the same man I met in his 40s, but equally I'm not the same woman he met in her 20s.

He is in his 60s, I'm 40s. Why do you ask?

activity you obviously have a happy relationship. And it has worked for you.
I think my concerns with age gap relationships are when the woman is in her 20s and the older man is 15/20 years older. Rightly or wrongly it just doesn’t sot right with me. There will examples where it is successful (like yours), but also many other examples where younger women are manipulated (like my friend).
If the woman is 35/40 plus, the dynamic feels different to me and perhaps has more life experience (and maybe financial security and children) to make an informed decision. Sorry if that offends you but it’s just my opinion. Like you say we are often very different women in our mid 30s beyond then we were in our 20s.