Age gaps

[FlowersforMe]

What would you say is the largest socially acceptable age gap when dating/in a relationship?

Haven't read all recent replies, just a few. Is there any need to be so bitchy and condescending over other people's life choices?

I can't believe the crap spouted on here. I really don't care if a partner and I don't have the same cultural/TV interests. There's more to life than that. Academics, sports and outdoor pursuits, values, family background, personality??? Surely???

In fact, I think it could only add intrigue and adventure to the relationship to have some differences in terms of age and cultural gaps. I'm very active and playful for my age, although more emotionally mature than most women in my social/work circle, I think.

A lot of women don’t think about having children until their 30s. Some think they will never want any. I certainly didn’t think I’d want children, but in my 30s that changed. Probably hormones, wanting something more, broodiness. Same for men too. Age and experience teaches us that what we want changes. Older men know this too. They should know that women want different things as they age. Family, marriage, owning their own home etc. Things which didn’t seem as important in their 20s.

trust I can only refer to the women I know. Obviously that is not the same in every age gap relationship, but it is in the ones I know of.

@Uptonogoodtoo

A lot of women don’t think about having children until their 30s. Some think they will never want any. I certainly didn’t think I’d want children, but in my 30s that changed. Probably hormones, wanting something more, broodiness. Same for men too. Age and experience teaches us that what we want changes. Older men know this too. They should know that women want different things as they age. Family, marriage, owning their own home etc. Things which didn’t seem as important in their 20s.

Have you any idea how you are coming across

@Uptonogoodtoo

trust I can only refer to the women I know. Obviously that is not the same in every age gap relationship, but it is in the ones I know of.

Well then maybe stop generalising and making us all out to be naive little idiots.

activity you seem to have an issue with a different opinion to yours. Can you elaborate on your opinion? Rather than just dismissing mine?
I am clear that some age gaps relationships can be happy and equal. But for many when there is a 15/20 year gap, particularly when the woman is in her 20s, there is likely to be a difference in power. These men never go for women 20 years older. Or very rarely as there is always exceptions.

The friend I am thinking of met her partner at 25. He was 45. 10 years on she is childless, unmarried and and their home is owned by him. He already has children now almost grown up.
She says she loves him, but if she knew now what she knew at the start, she probably wouldn’t have got involved. In her words she was ‘young and in love and didn’t really know what she was doing’.

She also doesn’t want to leave. As she would walk away with nothing. And has nowhere to go.

you seem to have an issue with a different opinion to yours.

Absolutely not. But when your opinion makes ridiculous assumptions about the type of woman I am then of course I will come along and defend that.

Can you elaborate on your opinion?

I have done this. I have made several posts. Perhaps if you read them? Or are you just here to put down the women?

Rather than just dismissing mine?

It deserves to be dismissed. The sexism in the 'a man should know what a young woman wants' is awful. The idea that people can't communicate their own needs and wants in a relationship, the idea that every man in an age gap relationship only ever dates younger women. Oh I could go on and on.

If you have a reasonable opinion regarding age gap relationships that isn't just a put down of women, I would be happy to hear it. If

@Uptonogoodtoo

The friend I am thinking of met her partner at 25. He was 45. 10 years on she is childless, unmarried and and their home is owned by him. He already has children now almost grown up. She says she loves him, but if she knew now what she knew at the start, she probably wouldn’t have got involved. In her words she was ‘young and in love and didn’t really know what she was doing’.

She is one woman. She is not representative of all women in an age gap relationship.

I am getting married (should have been already but covid), I had the one child I wanted at the age that I wanted, I went back to work for the hours I wanted, I co own the house, and the previous house that we had, and will co own the next one.

It's a scale. There will be women like your friend, women like me and all sorts of situations in-between.

The friend I am thinking of met her partner at 25. He was 45. 10 years on she is childless, unmarried and and their home is owned by him. He already has children now almost grown up.

So you judge everyone on that example?

She also doesn’t want to leave. As she would walk away with nothing. And has nowhere to go.

Ah. Silly woman. This isn't an age gap issue though. There are women aplenty on here who are in the same boat.

I have said numerous times that age gap relationships can be successful. But the ones I know of there does seem to be an imbalance of power.
I am not putting down women, but rather it concerns me that some older men seek out younger women who don’t always have the benefit of vast life experience. I personally think that older men should know better than getting together with someone young enough to be their daughter. But again it’s just my opinion.

@Uptonogoodtoo

I have said numerous times that age gap relationships can be successful. But the ones I know of there does seem to be an imbalance of power. I am not putting down women, but rather it concerns me that some older men seek out younger women who don’t always have the benefit of vast life experience. I personally think that older men should know better than getting together with someone young enough to be their daughter. But again it’s just my opinion.

You are putting down women.

I am not putting down women,

Oh you definitely are. Some of your posts are shocking actually. Even worse that you can't see it.

trust we’ll have to politely agree to disagree.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

@Uptonogoodtoo

trust we’ll have to politely agree to disagree. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

Somehow I don't think that's genuine.

activity you sound so angry. Hope you’re ok.

@Uptonogoodtoo

activity you sound so angry. Hope you’re ok.

I'm not angry at all. I realise tone can be difficult to read on a forum but what you have just posted in regards to my mood, irrespective of what it is, just shows that your 'go to' is to put people down.

That's a really ugly trait.

These are all just different opinions based on our own life experiences and what we see within our own social groups.

activity you called my friend a ‘silly woman’. That’s pretty insulting.

@Uptonogoodtoo

These are all just different opinions based on our own life experiences and what we see within our own social groups.

I'm actually base my opinions on much more than that, in all areas of life. There is so much more than what we see from a few people we know. Maybe that's why you have such negative views.

activity I accept you have a different opinion to me. Drawing from your own experiences. I respect that. I just disagree. As I draw from my own experiences. Like I say we politely agree to disagree.

@Uptonogoodtoo

activity you called my friend a ‘silly woman’. That’s pretty insulting.

This is what you said about her...

She also doesn’t want to leave. As she would walk away with nothing. And has nowhere to go.

That is silly. She has no choices? No back up plan? No options? She has settled? Her choice. And a silly one at that. I would say that of any woman in the same situation, regardless of her partners age though.

@Uptonogoodtoo

activity I accept you have a different opinion to me. Drawing from your own experiences. I respect that. I just disagree. As I draw from my own experiences. Like I say we politely agree to disagree.

Good god stop assuming you can speak for me.

I do not base my opinion on my own experience of one relationship with an older man. Like I actually said, just so you don't have to presume what I mean, there is a lots more in life then my own one experience to form a base for opinions.

@Uptonogoodtoo

activity you called my friend a ‘silly woman’. That’s pretty insulting.

As opposed to what you've said about other women.