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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Partner hit me infront of children

189 replies

lovelyhorse21 · 15/03/2021 09:40

my partner and i havent spoken for a few days due to an argument we had previously. This morning he began arguing with me again whilst i was sat on the sofa with my my two little children. I said i didnt want to argue infront of them and that i wasnt going to change my mind about the disagreement we had previously as i still thought i was right. at that point he started screaming came over to me put his hands around my neck and push me onto the sofa i tried to kick at him but he grabbed my hair and punched my in the head three times then dragged my across the floor, i tried to get away to phone the police as i thought he was going to kill me and all i could think of was being scared to leave my children. he followed me and smashed my phone and threw it out into the street, i tried to lock him outside then but he was stronger and pushed his way in before i could lock it. i went upstairs with the children til he left. they were distraught. he's sat outside now saying he has nowhere to go and no money and that he loves me etc. i dont know what to do. i'm also in first trimester of pregnancy.

OP posts:

notturningintopowerranger · 15/03/2021 20:48

Wow! You are incredible - you protected your children and are keeping them safe. You’ve done an amazing thing for them, and for yourself. It feels totally horrendous right now, and you will need some time to process and grieve, but hold on to what a wonderful thing you’ve done, please feel proud of yourself - you are so strong to have asked for help.

notturningintopowerranger · 15/03/2021 20:51

If you feel strong enough, the police will be able to find support for you, there are IDVAs - independent dv advisers who can help with all the practicalities etc. This could be the start of a new chapter for you all, feeling safe and no longer walking on eggshells.

whyhell0there · 15/03/2021 21:03

I hope you and the kids are ok - did you call the police?

Peachee · 15/03/2021 21:07

Don’t feel guilty!! Disagreements in relationships are the norm.. the way he acted is not!!! You did nothing wrong here so do not even go down that route.. if you stay with him he will just knock you further and further down until there is nothing left..
Do not go back.. don’t go back for the sake of your poor children. You can do this.

Dragongirl10 · 15/03/2021 21:10

Please call the police, you are in danger, think how you felt when you thought he may kill you, and your lovely children would be left WITH HIM.....don't think this is over... l am sorry but you have to report him to keep yourself and your children safe,

You owe it to your children to stand up and say this is wrong and l will call the police.

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2021 21:23

Really glad to hear you are safe, OP.

Please for goodness' sake report this and call the support, women's aid, etc.

Strangulation is a huge red flag for the most dangerous men.

naplesshelter.org/strangulation/

MojoJojo71 · 15/03/2021 21:24

Non fatal strangulation has been shown to be a huge risk factor for domestic homicide. You are in danger OP. I can’t stress that enough, Please, please report this to the police ASAP, you need to protect yourself and your children. Don’t wait

Bluntness100 · 15/03/2021 21:49

@MojoJojo71

This, it’s the biggest signal that you could end up murdered, in fact when he violently assaulted you in front of your kids you thought that might happen

You can’t let him back, it’s taking the risk of death snd leaving your kids alone, with him in jail

You’ve hard rhe big warning sign, I’m so sorry but you now need to call the police snd see this through, as hard as it is. Your future self and your kids will thank you. They can never ever see something like this again.

Givemeabreak88 · 15/03/2021 21:52

Why wait until tomorrow

YewandOak · 15/03/2021 22:22

Please ring the police tonight.

The last time my ex tried strangling me,I passed out. I came round with his hand over my mouth and his knee on my chest. I've never been so scared in my whole life. I literally saw stars that night as he'd pushed me and I hit my head on the corner of a shelf.

I was lucky to be able to get away and ring 999. I'd be dead now if I hadn't.

You need to get the police involved sooner rather than later.

Givemeabreak88 · 15/03/2021 22:31

Sadly I worry the op won’t call the police tonight and he will talk her round ☹️

Honeyroar · 15/03/2021 22:39

I really hope you do follow this up with the police. Look at those photos your sister took and remind yourself of what he did. Imagine how you’d feel about your children if they had bruises like that on them..

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/03/2021 22:47

Please call the police and keep you and your children safe-I don’t want to be reading about your murder in the newspaper

tenlittlecygnets · 15/03/2021 22:50

Your p is a horrible, abusive man. Ring the police now - why wait until tomorrow?

Whattodotho · 15/03/2021 22:59

This is what happened to me he strangled me to the floor that was first time never thought he do anything like that. You need to protect your kids. Don't put it off

Dazzband · 15/03/2021 23:05

OP, your kids must come first. Don't let him back into your life. I hope your family can give you the support you need

FeckTheMagicDragon · 15/03/2021 23:09

This has been escalating for a while hasn’t it? Please stay safe, and please report to the police.
You only have one life, don’t let him destroy it or end it too soon. And don’t feel sorry for him. These are HIS actions, HIS responsibilities.

Ninibest · 15/03/2021 23:11

Think that your kids is suffering from seeing you being abused. The sooner you stop it better will be for you and your kids

MrDarcysMa · 15/03/2021 23:20

Fucking hell op I am raging for you. He'll only get worse. Get that piece of shit arrested. Who attacks their partner And baby in front of their kids??! He could very easily have killed you and you might not be so lucky next time.

loveyourself2020 · 16/03/2021 00:16

What happened to this woman? Did she contact anybody? I am afraid for her.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 16/03/2021 00:19

So glad to hear that the replies have given you strength. Sometimes posters come on so strong that they can scare off the OP, but please know it’s only because we care and want you and your DC to be safe.

WisnaeMe · 16/03/2021 03:08

Why the delay in phoning the Police ? it's very early days in the pregnancy OP, 1 weeks is not to late to reconsider termination, but granted its not for everyone. Do not cave to emotional blackmail from Him OP 🌺

ForwardRanger · 16/03/2021 03:31

@WisnaeMe

Because it's terrifying. Let her be.

WisnaeMe · 16/03/2021 03:58

@WisnaeMe

sorry I mean 12 weeks OP 🌺

2020Diary · 16/03/2021 05:21

You must report it to the police. Your children are very young, will he want unsupervised access? If you report it you have proof of his violence, if he takes you to court for access. If you don't it is your word against his.
Protect your children, report this now.

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